Lifestyle, Parenting, Relationships

4 Toxic things we hope you left in 2016 and what you should remember to do going forward.

We must first define and examine the word TOXIC, in order to understand the meaning. Then we can determine where these toxic things could possibly be living and occupying space in our life and how they are affecting us as a group, a team or as individuals.

TOXIC:

  1. Of, pertaining to, affected with, or caused by a toxin or poison:

A toxic condition.

  1. Acting as or having the effect of a poison; poisonous:

A toxic drug.

  1. Causing unpleasant feelings; harmful or malicious:

A toxic boyfriend; toxic criticism.

Any time toxicity exist amongst a group, whatever the relationship; couples, marriages, friendships, workplace or even in our church, it will air avenues for the operation as a whole, to become severely damaged or even destroyed and at the very least, stagnant and unproductive.

Once we identify with those things and the areas where we are affected, we need to employ methods into our daily life, that will inspire us to motivate and encourage each other to become better people; so that we can transcend into a more meaningful, happy, balanced and enlightening state of mind and live a more healthy life.

  1. Animosity – NOUN

A feeling of strong dislike, ill will, or enmity that tends to display itself in action: A deep-seated animosity between two sisters; animosity against one’s neighbor.

Animosity could be directed towards co-workers, family members and friends who are on the other end of what you project. They are the receivers of that feeling. You are the giver.

Application: If these are people who you have to see and work with going forward, having animosity will only further create an impaired ability to grow together and function together. If you have animosity toward someone, you may want to try to clear the air before moving on- just for peace of mind and understanding of the root of the animosity so that you can move forward.

  1. Resentment Definition- NOUN

The feeling of displeasure or indignation at some act, remark, person, etc., regarded as causing injury or insult.

Resentment can be rooted in forbidden places, where it may be hard to reach. It could be directed toward someone or something in your past, which you feel caused you to be in your current state of mind, or in your current situation. While all feelings are valid, they are not all rational. It can be due to mistakes and choices you made in your past, with regard to decisions about jobs, relationships, career moves or reluctance in doing what you now feel you should have done. It could be regrets you have about decisions you made, where you are now projecting on someone else.

Application: Either change the course of your action and get on the track you want to be on, or adopt and implement the “let it go” approach/strategy; especially if it is something that cannot be changed. If you give a stab at reconciling your feelings of resentment toward someone, you may reach the point of closure that you have been seeking in order to live a more productive and healthy life. However, if the outcome is different, you may have to accept it and move on, but do so without resentment.

Acceptance of things that cannot be changed, is not succumbing to an error and allowing the consequence to manifest into anger—it’s can be looked at, as serenity. And with that, you should find peace. You cannot change what happened, but you can change your state of mind, regarding what happened.

  1. Bad Behavior- NOUN 1. Manner of behaving or acting. 2. Observable activity in a human or animal.

The aggregate of responses to internal and external stimuli.

A stereotyped, species-specific activity, as a courtship dance or startle reflex.

  1. Often, behaviors. A behavior pattern.

Example: I believe we all possess to some degree, a notch of bad behavior in which was probably exercised in such unnoticeable doses, that it didn’t cause a majorly negative shift in our day to day. However, that notch tends to grow and grow into pulsating amounts when not checked and gaged on a daily. When that happens, you’ll notice more and more people moving away from your company because of the energy that you seemingly give off.

Since behavior can be broadly defined as a “reaction” to something; arguably, our bad behavior can be considered warranted. However, bad behavior that has taken on a life of it’s own and resides in our character is not. Characteristics of bad behavior can shape the perceptions that people draw from us, in normal conversations. Since this is true- we want to make sure we do a self-assessment and reality checks (or as my people would say, ‘A come to Jesus’) to determine if at those times, we are the ones who need behavior rehabilitation.

Remember the expression, ” Humble pie is best, when served cold.” It wasn’t the person eating it who said that. It’s the person serving it. So let’s make sure we are conducting ourselves with decency and honesty on a daily and in the professional or at least friendly manner, in which we want to be perceived.

  1. Judgment- NOUN The ability to make considered decisions or come to sensible conclusions.

“an error of judgment”

VERB

gerund or present participle: judging

form an opinion or conclusion about.

This needs to go out the window with fanny packs and bangs. Oh, did I just judge someone? Yes, I did. This is something we need to be careful with. While the example I just provided could be harmless, judgement comes across in a lot of ways that do more than offer our rightful opinion.

All judgements are not fair or good. When we make an assessment of a person based on what we saw them wearing or what someone else said about them or when we cast onto them, our opinions of how they should live or take care of their family; a lot of times it’s done without giving consideration to their situation. This is why we should refrain from judging a person period. We have the right to make an analysis regarding their fit in our lives, according to the journey we are personally on; but we are not a liberty to pass judgement on them and their own journey.

Being overly judgmental and critical does nothing for your spirit and causes you to be viewed as a Debbie downer, who always has something negative to say. You attract what you are. If you live a judgemental life, you will attract that kind of energy, since people gravitate to familiarity and things that make them comfortable. However, what tends to happen is, you end up around someone who’s just like you and you can see the error in their ways, but not your own.

Point5 (.5) – BE THE MOST MEMORABLE PERSON IN THE ROOM.

Think of your body as a temple. One with sparkling white marble, crystal chandeliers, German birched hardwood floors, flowing spring water, and light naturally produced by the transparent floor to ceiling windows with 30-foot ceilings. Our fireplace is mantled with success stories and life’s greatest memories. Our coffee tables display infectious and contagious portraits of laughter and excitement from irreplaceable moments with family and friends.

We do not invite harsh chemicals onto our floors and we do not bring contaminated things into our living rooms and bedrooms. We do not keep a dirty home and our floors have not been laid for the purpose of trafficking dirt. Our life isn’t perfect and our homes in real life may not be- but that’s no reason not to clean it up from here on out.

As Seen on CafeMom.com

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