- By Choice -You have decided that being Single works for you.
I intentionally listed this one first, as it may very well be the number one and most important reason you are single and for your own good reason. Also, I wanted to address the fact that some women are actually single on their own account and it has nothing to do with them not being able to “find a man.” Some women are not “looking for a man.” Has the idea of that being a possibility ever crossed your mind?
We look at being single with such a negative connotation; almost to the point that people are afraid to say they are single, because society makes you feel as though you shouldn’t be. People really should stop looking at “single” as if it’s a highly infectious disease that no one wants. Being single does not mean that someone is a defected item for recall. There is absolutely nothing wrong with choosing to be single. Try this one on for size, “Why do you ‘chose’ to be single?” My answer, for the same reason you like your coffee black. It’s just a preference.
You are totally ok with being by yourself and you actually enjoy the peaceful sounds of the silence that resonated in your home. Me time is every night and you don’t have to worry about anyone else pulling their weight around the house, or arguing over chores and wondering who washed your whites with the color laundry. Your kitchen stays as clean or as dirty as you like. You can be the perfectionist you always wanted to be and go on an OCD rage over the weekend. You have found pleasure in sleeping diagonally in your bed, alone, all night. You don’t have to share a bathroom or a shower with anyone. You thoroughly enjoy walking around the house with curlers on your hair, a robe, ashy ankles, drinking coffee all day, missing your morning shower and eating ice cream any time you want, any time during the day. You are independent and you do things on your own, IE: take out the trash, keep the house up, hired a lawn man for the outdoors, and you pay all of your bills. You have been single for so long, that you have actually forgotten how to be in a relationship. You haven’t found any man who has baggage that you’re willing to accept. Which brings me to the second reason that a woman may still be single. (Only if you are wondering why you are)
- You play too hard to get/ too complicated and play too many games: Hasbro has nothing on you. You’re not too hard to get in the sense that you should be, which is opposite of easy, but you make extra rules and they are endless. Every woman should reserve herself for the right one, so it goes without saying that I am only speaking about total game play. Meaning, you deliberately do things to create an obstacle course, a hostile situation, a debate over things, for the sake of a disagreement, preventing the relationship from growing and thriving. He becomes tired of the army drills. And even though he’s perfect for the race, he gets tired of the extra chase. Yes, a man will chase you if he’s interested. And some will stop at nothing. Yes, he will do the things that you require and will show you that he’s down for you. But it is up to you, to allow him to do these things. You will not allow the relationship to unfold organically. But that’s the only way to know what is real and what is fake. You will either, have chemistry, develop chemistry or not have chemistry at all… …but at least with allowing it to unfold naturally and organically, you will know. Instead, you play major Parker Brother games, just to see how far you can push this man, who is trying to show you that he is here for you. And like the lyrics of the song, ‘Beneath Your Beautiful’ “You’ve built your wall so high, that no one can climb it.
- You’re too easy to get. While it seems that you attract a plethora of men, who all seem interested in taking you out, you give in to their advances too soon. Many times, you do this before they have actually had to work for any of your time or attention or time to show you any real interest at all. You drop your undies to the tune of hello and without even finding out his last name or you go all in, extremely soon and it scares him. It scares him because if he thought for a moments time, that you were the one; you may have just given him the ‘red-light’ indication that you may just be the one for the night instead. Women put a value on the relationship that has no value. By that I mean, after you’ve given him the milk for free, you begin to think the feelings could possible be mutual, when in a lot of cases, it’s not.
Then, they wonder why the phone calls go unanswered unless he’s answering to accept your proposition for ‘a good time’. All while he has moved on to someone else, who respects herself more. But he will keep you on the side for a good time. You are left with the reality that someone you gave extra interest to, because he was cute, he drove a nice car, he had an attractive profession that came with an attractive salary; has now reduced you to a number. In all of that, you were motivated to give it up, so that he would know you were interested… Does that even make sense?
When did women decide that they had to show a man their interest, by sleeping with him? And when was it concluded that sleeping with him in such short time, would solidify the future of the relationship? Perhaps these aren’t the reasons at all, that women make that decision – and perhaps her rules don’t apply when it comes to a man who’s married or in a known relationship.
I am not slut shaming or trying to call the kettle black, but I can almost hear the echo of some women right now, explaining that they don’t endorse the 90-day rule and if they want to give up the goodies, they will. Well, good for you. I am not speaking to you. I am speaking to the women who are actually wondering, why they are still single.
However, if I had to offer a 4th reason as to why some women are single, you would be the reason. You and the number 3’s of the world. So this is where it does apply. You are the reason, because temptation is a real thing. And because women like you are out there making it so easy for a man to cheat or step outside of their marriages or commitments to another woman, those women decide to sever ties. Even as a single woman, it’s hard to compete with this. It’s hard to compete with a woman who has no reservations about lying down with anyone she wants because she’s a ‘free soul.’ It’s hard to complete with the woman who allows the man to come over for drinks when he’s mad at his wife. And it’s hard to compete with the woman who doesn’t require much, if anything at all from a man, in the realm of respect, fidelity, commitment, and responsibility. Every dog wants treats for his tricks and if you’re supplying unlimited goodies, of course he’s gonna hide his bone at your house. I believe I speak for those women when I say, it has nothing to do with how good or bad he’s being treated at home. (Some-times, it does) That man can be treated like royalty at home and still hiccup at the sight of a beautiful woman who’s ready to get it on and popping, with no strings attached. No one is mad at you though’ girl. You’re not the blame of course, the man is. Which is why his lady is now single, because she had more dignity for herself, than to remain in such a situation.
Disclaimer: This post does not in any way reference all men, or all women. There are obviously some men out there who will cherish the ground their girl walks upon and nothing can interfere with their relationship. Those are probably the ones who are not single.