Loaning: Have you ever given thought to the things that you loan people, in which they never give it back? Or when they do give it back, it’s damage or destroyed and there’s always some elaborate excuse as to how it happened. Learning a lesson in deeds will sometimes steer people from opening their heart to loan anyone, anything, anymore. Borrowing is not to be confused with giving. When we give, we should give from the heart and not expect it to be returned or reciprocated in any other manner of giving back. However, loaning something comes with the rule of returning.
Some people, including myself have adopted a no loan policy, because they have grown tired of loaning things such as clothing, jewelry, shoes, purse, and especially money.
Money never seems to make its way back to the loaner. However, you’ll see those same people using the money that they should be paying you back with. It’s not so much that they are using it, but that they are not using it on what they told you that they needed it for. All while, you actually need your money back.
You’ll also see them flexing on social media with new things they’ve purchased for themselves. You start to wonder why they haven’t paid you back. They are on social media with hash tags: #Lifestyle #DoingItBig #BeenRich #Balling LOL! #KeepIt100.
I could spend a lot of time on this one, but there was one time that I loaned someone money, with the expectation of getting it back. It was $100.00 and to someone who I truly thought was good for it. I thought it would be returned within a few days. However, it wasn’t. When it wasn’t returned, I chalked it up to a favor/deed.
Shoes- I have let close friends borrow footgear a couple of times. But there was only one time that I can think of, where I let someone borrow my footgear and they never returned it.
It’s another example of dealing with people who do not understand the concept of loaning and borrowing versus giving. Or, they just don’t care to be responsible enough to make sure they give it back. Even though the footgear was not given, and it was understood at the time it was loaned.
However, they never make any attempt to return it. It’s funny how people will do anything to meet up with you to get something they need, but when it’s time to meet up to return it/give it back; they are suddenly too busy, out of town, not on your side of town, running errands, in a meeting, adhering to deadlines, swamped with work, under the weather, not feeling so well, don’t have a car, have to work late, or they have a family emergency.
They don’t return your calls or text messages about meeting up to get the item back and they literally go into ghost mode.
Jewelry- I learned this lesson in college. I had a family member ask to borrow my gold herringbone necklace. (Telling my age) Yes, gold herringbone necklaces were an ‘it thing,’ back in the day.
I was visiting my cousin home, whom is several years older than me, who lived in the city where I attended college. He was getting ready to go out for the evening. He noticed my necklace and he asked to borrow it. I didn’t think twice about it because it was my cousin.
I never thought that I’d be asking for that chain back for the next 3 months. Well, he sure showed me a lesson in expecting things back from “family.” I must have called him everyday about that chain.
One time I even went to his home to get it. He swore he couldn’t find it at one point. Secondly, he began to deny ever having it or borrowing it. Then, he committed to a story about having given it back already. While this is something I’ve let go of at this point in life, it is on the list of non-loan items.
The rule says: No good deeds ever go unpunished. But we always like to think that there’s an exception to that rule when dealing with family and close friends, who we should be able to trust, in returning all things borrowed.