How will you ever find happiness in your future, if your present is so consumed with your past?
It’s a fair question that deserves ample thought and respectful conversation. Reflecting, analyzing and meditating, can be considered as the preliminary things to do, in order to move beyond the pastime of thoughts that exist in your present life, for the sake of finding the closure that you seek and require; in order to cultivate happiness in your life. What is closure to you? Closure allows something to be mentally filed and stored correctly, but also to be chalked up to an event of the past, that will not affect your future.
For me, closure doesn’t speak in just one language. It’s a multi-lingual voice that translates into comfort through actions, by which you consider acceptable, in resolving something in your personal life. It comes in many different forms, depending on who you are, what you need and what you want. Closure is not accomplished through accepting a suggestion that doesn’t work for you. It has to be in a way that speaks directly to your own heart, mind, body and soul.
The closure that you desire and seek doesn’t have to be understood by the masses. Chances are, it probably won’t be understood by the masses. That is because journey is not theirs, and the testimony belongs to you and only you. The dilemma itself, which brought on the need for closure in your life, probably isn’t/wasn’t understood by the masses either. Your job is to cultivate happiness in your life. And by that alone, you can use a selfish approach, that will position you in the highest place to better serve the GOD that you trust.
If I had to direct someone who has allowed relationships and friendships of their past to violate their present and provoke a future filled with unhappiness, I would simply say that moving into a place where they will cultivate happiness, is how to do it. However, I personally realize that closure doesn’t come in the midst of encountering the same thorn on a daily. It usually comes in the end, revealing itself through a mind, body and soul, form of a mutually agreed upon and whole-heartedly, acceptable arrangement with yourself, to either cope or move beyond the thorns.
IE: If you are a man who has taken on issues with moving on in life, where that hurt is negatively displayed in malicious attacks that you execute daily, due to a break up left you in a place of hate, in which you are now stuck, and in a place where you began to live your life through a series of jealous, resentful and spiteful attacks on the lady that left you; you should seek to find closure for yourself and understand that it will not come by creating a firestorm in another persons life. Your happiness is not true or authentic when you do this, because it will never come at the expense of making someone else unhappy. Your life is literally in a vegetable state of existence when this happens. You will always be on life support and the moment that the plug is pulled… meaning when you cannot hurt or attack the one thing that kept your actions on life support, you will flatline inside
Release her. Let her go – Find closure and Move on, for once and for all. So that you too, can find the happiness that you truly want.
If someone has been holding you back, because they never got the closure they needed in a break up, or a job that fired them, or a relationship they wanted with parents, years ago; try to understand their need for closure. Give them the opportunity they need, to have that closure. Then, carry on. There’s no need to stand around forever after you’ve extended to them, an opportunity to have it.
It is perfectly ok to want to position yourself to go higher in life. It is perfectly ok to increase your happiness through quality of life. It is OK to be happy. Some people are consumed with entertaining mind-trash, in which they loose themselves in conversations that they have with themselves. They worry about what people will think. They worry about the next person, finding out that they have been doing something, that makes them happy. They worry about judgment from family and close friends knowing what they have been up to. They worry about family finding out the truth or finding out that they aren’t in private, the same person as they are in public. They worry about people finding out the reasons that they are not happy. They worry about what people will say.
It is ok to choose happiness. It is ok to surround yourself with happy people. It is ok to smile. It is ok to laugh and love. It is ok to move beyond the things that caused you to be upset and angry. It is ok to let go of the past. Closure is the blueprint for building an empire of happiness.