Charity, Lifestyle, Parenting, Relationships, Uncategorized

Would you date a man who’s not over or obsesses over his ex-girlfriend/wife?

Personally, I wouldn’t, but I also know that there are some things, which would bring me to the conclusion that he’s not over his ex, which could be different from someone else’s conclusion. And because of that, I realize that my drift of opinion could be millions of miles away from what someone else’s views, in determining the same thing. To each, his own, and that includes thoughts, ideas, plans, etc.

I respect and value individuals who garner their own understanding of what they want in life and how they will go about getting it. That’s just having a broad sense of understanding and awareness. Which is also why I remain open to hearing what other women have to say about the many things, which involve: love, lust, regrets, relationships, marriage, commitment, loyalty, dating and divorce. All of which, could mean something different to different people.

In my humble opinion, some women don’t have radar for determining cheating, or being in love vs. being loved, and of course, determining if the man she loves, is in love with someone else….or obsessing over someone else.

Some women do have the radar, but it needs to be recalibrated. It hasn’t been used in a while and it’s locked on the car that they’ve been sitting in for a while. It’s locked in on the last target and is unable to work properly. It reads the wrong person. It gages the wrong speed. The light is not on. The power switch doesn’t work or it has been turned off. Their radar is out of date, expired, primitive, barbaric or ancient. They want so badly, so impress upon a man what the last one did or did not do.

Now, while there is profound and nostalgic beauty in the old, the aged and the antique; it’s not exactly the mindset you want when you’re living in the present and burdened with the hindrance of understanding how things work, in back to the future. Modern and New technology doesn’t force you to change, it does often times, aggressively request your participation in new technology, so that you can keep up. Yes, we are still talking about what it takes for you to determine if the man you’re in love with is caught up in his feelings over his ex.

There are some pretty general things that take place when this is the case, which would validate and confirm your suspicion, as they will point directly at the truth about it, where across the board, the consensus would agree that he’s not over his ex. Suffice to say, there are also things that would say the same about you, which wouldn’t be accurate. However, if the radar is working (gut and intuition) you’d come pretty dang close in your conclusion, and the accuracy would be above average. In other words, you’d still be closer to right, than you would be to wrong. It’s like a hypothesis, in a scientific method.

I believe that most women would agree on these blatant and undeniable actions, which can’t be refuted, which tells us that he’s not over his ex. Such as: flirting with the lines of communication, where his ex is concerned. Also walking a tight rope and/or pushing the envelope type of behavior, when it comes to his involvement or engagement with his ex. And then, there’s also the hatred and anger that he has toward her, for no apparent reason. If he does things like, stalk her in real life, stalks her online, stalks her job, repeatedly harasses her, and by use of the power and control wheel used in Domestic Violence diagrams, he complies with the entire wheel. If he’s still holding on to photos, memoirs, keepsakes and tokens that belong to her, like rings, necklaces, her wedding dress, her lotion or soap and other hygiene products…. sorry Hun, he’s not over his ex.

If he spends an inordinate amount of time reading through her post on social media, working with a peon task force to assist him in keeping tabs on his ex, while he’s incognito and sitting behind the computer (like most stalkers do in the movies) while collecting every photo she’s ever taken, all the places she’s been, all the people she’s with…then printing all of this, but covering that up by calling it “investigation” work …Boo, I really hate to tell you that he’s lying. Has he ever shown you all the stuff he’s been keeping? Have you read it all for yourself? Does it say anything that would suggest or imply that there’s a reason to have all that information? Why is she that relevant to him?

Well, just answer me this: Would you be surprised to know that he’s not over something from his past? Would it surprise you to know that he does all these things because he’s angry about the life she has without him? Would it surprise you to know that this is the stuff that pisses his ex off and causes her to have tantrums, because she can’t live her life in peace, as long as this stalker is there? Would I be accurate if I said that this is the reaction that fuels him? But have you asked him why is it that, her throwing a tantrum, excites him? Would I be accurate if I called this, A UNHEALTHY OBSESSION? Would you be surprised to know that stalking is illegal? Digressing. ……Because….

Nonetheless, it is still so, that one thing in the eyes of one person, can be totally different in the eyes of another person.

Some women don’t pick up the signs- others see the signs and they ignore it, because they have their own motives for being with such a man. The same woman will look over red flags, warning signs, stuff that doesn’t look right, lies and stories that don’t add up. They are making a mental note, for sure. But they aren’t taking any action in addressing him, because they are comfortable in this “asis” situation. They are nonchalant about it, because they already have their own set of ulterior motives and they know they won’t be around for the long haul. His behavior doesn’t bother her, because she’s in it for reasons of convenience. Once she gets what she came for, she’s high tailing it out and on to the next.

A woman who:

  1. ignores a mans actions, which do not align with the purpose of setting aside differences and does not seem to want to
  2. stop committing offenses against his ex and
  3. who is not able to solidify his hate, anger and rage,
  4. in order to validate why he’s “so mad”

…is a woman who ignores

  1. what she likes,
  2. what she wants and
  3. what she deserves, because
  4. SHE is up to something herself.

As seen on CafeMom.com

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