Why I chose to live instead of die

Well the long of the short, or the short of the long; whichever you prefer, I wanted to see what was in it for me. In what? You might ask. In life. I choose to live, instead of dying everyday, so that I can continue to pursue passions, exercise talents, perfect skills, provide testimonies, broaden my horizons, obtain increase by enlarging my territory and to live to see exactly where life is taking me. I choose life to see exactly how many ways I can be a subservient…live and exist, finding favor and grace through fulfillment, in a purpose-driven life.

If you can, think back to the first time that you felt the sting of defeat, or when you felt as though your wings had been clipped. Your freedom to fly, was taken from you and the ground beneath you crumbled. You were in such shock and dismay, you couldn’t think straight. You were not able to process the reasons or motives behind it, and it did not make any reasonable sense as to why it occurred. You felt like the sky was truly falling. You asked, “why is this happening to me?” You pondered over your past to see if anything happened before that you were aware of, which may have been the driving force behind the karma.


Whether you know and realize it or not, the very fact that you are here today says that you too chose life. You chose to live. Whatever it was that happened may have hurt you, broken you down, and torn you to pieces. Even before you knew with certainty that you did nothing to warrant the karma, you subconsciously made a decision to continue to live and not die. Dying is not only in a physical form – – Dying from something that you perceived as tragic, manifests in the spirit. Your spirit gives in and submits to the problem, causing you to become weak and worn out, exhausted with living in a place where you must keep asking, “why?”

I remember there was a time, when I was in my freshman year of college, and going through something that I summarize as devastating. About as devastating as a pimple to a maturing teenager. It was hurting my heart though and I did not want to feel that pain everyday, which was where it seemed to be heading. I couldn’t shake it. Couldn’t get it off my mind. I couldn’t stop crying. I asked GOD that if he were to bring me through that pain and hurt I was feeling, that I know, I would be able to handle anything else in life. Well, just like that and in an instant, the hurt subsided and I forgot all about it.


On another occasion, and a whole 10 years later, I went to my manager with a two week’s notice. In the notice, I described the reasons as to why I was resigning from my position. I also made no attempt to hide my sentiments about how I truly felt about her. In the note, I described what I was going through under her supervision, as torment. I remember her calling me into her office and saying to me, “If you feel like this is the worst thing that will happen to you in life, then you’re in for a rude awakening.” She was literally smiling and laughing at the same time.

Now, I give you two variations here, so that you can see this:

Regarding the latter: Some things are not as big as we make them seem. They may not be worth the crying, the pain, or the suffering. If we can get out of our own head, we can get out of our own way. Healing is on the other side. It’s not on the side with pain. Comfort and content is there- which is why some people begin to associate pleasure with pain. Other times, we jump off the deep end, burn bridges, cut the wrong people off, and live in a selfish world, where if we were to swallow our pride, humble ourselves to the direction that life wants to take us, we could cut down or even eliminate, some of those painstaking moments. If we are obedient and listen, we may be able to avoid it altogether.

As for the first story, let the creator know that you have chosen to live. Let him know that the burden is too much. Allow a faithful communication to flow between you and the creator. Psalm 55:22 Cast your burden on the Lord, and He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved. Know that, and know, that what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger.


Wherever you are in your life, on the pain side- or if you have already made out, you will find that choosing to live, over dying in your spirit, will bring you closer to where you need to be in your life of purpose. Just reflect on the times before that you were saved from massive destruction in your head. Reflect on the times that you knew without a doubt that you had the favor of GOD upon you. Remember how you came through it and know that he truly did not bring you this far to leave you.

As Seen on SheSavvy.com


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