I don’t know about you, but the size of my shoe in the U.S., is an 8. That makes it a size 39 in Europe, which is also how old I am and will be, for about 5 more months. I have one son, who’s 6- years old. I have entertained a range of careers. All of which, were opportunities for me to grow and learn from. I have been up and I have been down. I have traveled to many places in my life, in which I was able to see a lot of things, meet and know a lot of people. I attribute the attitude that I have about approaching new things with an open-mind and a fearless attitude, to having been in High and Low places, throughout my life. I can argue that some of those things introduced me to unexpected growth spurts. Coming out of college and having to make a living, required growing up in the moment. An unplanned pregnancy required more growth, overnight. While I was 33 years old when it happened, it still required conforming into a different kind of adult…. A Mother… A Grown Woman. I do my very best to only compete with who I was yesterday, making a concerted effort to be submissive to the idea of growing older and wiser and becoming better, by doing better, but also by acknowledging the need to constantly be evolving. So, what does the idea of, “acting your age” involve? That is the question, as I take a stab at the responsibilities and characteristics of what it means to be a Grown Woman.
There are many daunting tasks and responsibilities, which may require the attention of the woman, who is of a certain age. Such as: Leading a team professionals. This person may be chosen based on the characteristics they possess in their educational background, extensive knowledge and experience, their attitude and personality and their skill level, as well as their proven ability to do the job.
While we often attribute the above to an older woman, like I just did…these same responsibilities and characteristics which may define a grown woman, can fall on a woman of any age, as those task, don’t always belong to a certain age group. I believe that telling someone to act their age, stems from a place of expectation. We expect a woman of a certain age to act a certain way. We expect a woman with certain responsibilities to act a certain way also. That expectation is not an unwarranted expectation, but it has come increasingly clear to me, that its possible to encounter a woman in her late 30’s, who may act more like a grown woman, than someone in their late 50’s.
When a young lady evolves into a woman, perhaps after child birth and marriage, her responsibilities increase in her life and sometimes even in the community of which she resides in and within the society that she lives in. She becomes a woman of distinct character and she continues to unfold the beauty within, as she grows older.
In seeking the counsel of several wise woman, who all agreed to the following, as being a few of the stronger characteristics; which will define your status as a Grown Woman. It was after we determined that age wasn’t anything but a number, and that although women of a certain age could lack the following, they shouldn’t lack the following:
Ability to Prioritize Prioritizing your life, so that the most important thing is addressed and given the attention that it needs. Priorities can vary from woman to woman, as one may have children and another may have a demanding job. When and if they have both, it’s about a balance your priorities and determining when one over another deserves the attention at that moment in time.
Professionalism This can be seen in the way a woman may dress and present herself in a work setting. When conducting business and leading a team at work, a grown woman will always maintain the professional standards of the workplace.
Growth from childlike ways Growing up from childlike ways is growing out of the need to gossip, to be the mean girl, and to not like someone because ‘your friend doesn’t like them and they don’t like your friend’. You’d have to admit, that’s childish, isn’t it?
Discernment When you grow up, you welcome and embrace your naturally ability to discern. You no longer engage in activities that may have occupied your time in your youth. You recognize the difference in healthy chatter and gossip, where family and friends are concerned. You excuse yourself from situations that require you to demote your success.
Make more conscious decisions You have grown into a someone who thinks things through more carefully, before acting. You study and weigh options, so that you can make healthy choices, mentally, emotionally and physically. You analyze to a solution or a remedy, which has the greater value and shelf life.
Distinguished You entertain yourself with Grace, Elegance and Virtue…Which voluntarily reveals itself through your caliber of character. You possess a certain zeal about yourself, in the way that you walk, talk and stand.
Wisdom You know when to do whatever, when to say whatever and you realize that in business, sometimes no move, is a move. You become distinctively clear about your business affairs, family affairs and the affairs of your children.
There’s only one thing in my opinion, that isn’t supposed to get better with age. That is your immaturity level. It may have been in your nature as a young person, but after 30… 40….50… it doesn’t look good on you. Maturity and Immaturity is a universal language that can be understood at any adult age. The two-bit, penny-ante, and pettifogging ways are the things that should be left behind, long before your late 30’s. That is what sets grown women apart from other women.
All of the Above require maturity! So, next time you tell a woman to act her age, and not her shoe size; be mindful, she probably is. Perhaps we should say, “Act Like a Grown Woman.”