The Dying Art Of Courting And What you Think It Cost

bench-couple-love-people

A male friend reached out to me recently and asked for suggestions on what to do with his new- found girlfriend. He shared that they met while attending a food summit somewhere up in the Wine Country a few weeks ago. Geez, now why didn’t anyone tell me about all that fun going on? Anyhow, I knew right away that food and wine would be a part of what I’d suggest, because I already had insight on what she enjoyed. However, beyond the obvious I wanted to share with him other suggestions which wouldn’t cost a fortune, as he’d expressed that he was interested in this young lady and that he wanted to make an impression, but one that he could hold to as time rolled on.

As he raved on about this young lady, he asked how to show her that he was interested in her. Well, aside from simply telling her, I suggested he make it known of course first, just by reiterating it. Guys sometime get discouraged in doing this one very important thing because they don’t want to seem like the weakest link. They don’t want to chase, as they have sincerely confused this term with its ugly fraternal twin know as, “running after.” (Let that sit) What they forget is the dying art of courting. And to pursue, is to chase.

When you are interested in falling and having them fall with you so that you can rise together, you just tell her that you are interested. When she reciprocates in letting you know that she is interested as well, by accepting your advances for a 2nd and 3rd date…. There’s nothing wrong with looking deeply into her eyes and telling her that she has an amazing smile and that you truly do enjoy getting to know and knowing her. It doesn’t cost you anything to do this.

Man and Woman Sitting on Bench

Showing your interest in someone does not take fine dining, exotic trips and wild adventures from week to week. Not at first anyway, and it’s not a habit you want to form when you can’t finance it. Those are luxuries that some can afford from week to week, when they have the time and finances. However, you can show your interest in other ways while at the same time, determining if this is a relationship that you can handle and want to continue to pursue.

Communication: In courting a woman, you are courting her mind as well. I would tell my friend just like I would tell any man who asks, once you’ve established between the two of you that you want to be in a relationship, beyond that it’s building. You are constantly building and hopefully toward a common goal…and depending on what that is, you establish boundaries. IE: Is this an exclusive relationship? What are your intentions? Where would you like this relationship to go? Otherwise, I think it’s counterproductive to say that you want to be in a relationship where you are building together- if you don’t want a future together. So, the objective in the relationship during the building process should be to get to know one another on a level which would help you understand one another better and determine if the goal you started with, can be fulfilled in staying together.

You could compare this to an employer/employee relationship where benefits are equal upon entering an agreement for employment. Probationary period is followed by a commitment to hire. Once employer demonstrated loyalty to their employee and vice versa, the relationship grows into the next level. Pretty soon, your entry level title turns into tenure. You are making an investment in each other, providing benefits, perks and incentive.

How does this translate in dating? When you invest in a woman with conversation, understanding, commitment and loyalty, in exclusively dating her, she will make you a great return on that investment.

What You do to get her: Yes, what you do to get her you will have to do to keep her is a very valid statement. As this pertains to material things, I mentioned that it is not wise to start something you cannot keep up with. (A drastic change in financial status is the exception) And a woman whom you have made the above investments in will understand. In Application: You want to be careful while you’re trying to impress/make an impression, not to make the wrong impression by doing something you can’t do, if your intent is to pursue something long-term. (Another exception here are those once and twice in a lifetime type ventures… yes, you can knock off extravagant bucket list items together and have an understanding that this is not something you will be doing often) But most importantly, if you attract her by opening doors for her-you need to keep this up.

adventure, Black Woman, boy

While you are getting to know her, you are paying attention to the things she talks about… if you are listening, you will hear her tell you everything. When you show up with a white Carnation over a red rose, she knows that you heard her when in regular conversation she expressed that she’s the type of girl who prefers carnations over roses. That’s impressive – because she now knows that you have a vested interest in learning about her.

Those luxurious trips etc. will come over time… in building. There’s no need to take someone on a $10k vacation when you know it will take your life savings and could be over when you return, because while on the trip with someone you just met 2 months ago, you realized yawl were worlds apart on what you want in life.

Get an understanding of all these things beforehand. That’s what dating, and courting is. It’s doing the things that you will be consistently doing. Its’ showing someone what they are signing up for. Now if you can afford the $10k vacays week to week and keep that up if the relationship transpired beyond the next 6 months then more power to ya. Don’t try to compete with the next man. If someone else can do for her something that you can’t, and it’s something that she requires, and she tends to lean toward, you need to be paying attention. It doesn’t make her a bad person, it just means that she’s not right for you or may not be right for you right now.

Adore her

Hold hands/ Forehead kiss/stare in eyes not face/write her letters

Show her respect/be respectful in private and public places

Be playful with her/ Laugh, joke & match humor

Walk close together/Go out together/ Take her to the Park/ Take her to the Lake

Play ANY sport together

Go to the Gym together

Open EVERY door EVERYTIME

Protect her/ give her your jacket when she’s cold/ keep her safe/ comfort her

Attend the Family get together and outing, together

Have Cookouts at your home together/ cook for her

All, are Things that won’t cost a fortune to maintain in the dating/courting process

The girl who appreciates these things is the type of girl who treasures the connection, the bonding, the quality time, the love and the chemistry more than being able to take your credit card and go to the mall. She would rather you be there with her to relish in the excitement together. Sure, she likes wonderful things and won’t turn down a gift, but she would choose to have you with her if it boiled down to having to choose one over the other.

She wants your love, not your money. She wants your time, not your gifts. She wants your presence not your presents. She wants your company not your absence. She doesn’t need you to validate her, she needs you to validate the relationship – She wants you to initiate and show her that you know how to lead…she wants your commitment.

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There’s new meaning to the expression, Once in a Blue Moon

There’s new meaning to the expression, Once in a Blue Moon. Today in Australia, Asia and parts of the United States and Eastern Europe people were able to witness the rare lunar trilogy of a Supermom, Blue Moon and a lunar eclipse which occurred simultaneously. In doing so, hopefully the thought of rare occurrences resonated, as it is scientifically stated that we would not see another like it for 19 years and for the first time in 150 years, a trilogy. How’s that for the idea of once in a blue moon or a once in a lifetime opportunity?

Here’s the part where I will take you all over the place to try to make this point. Try to follow……

How many times have you looked back and said to yourself, Dang I should have gone for it? I should have made that move, I should have taken that job, I should have latched on, to the opportunity when it came around because there’s no telling when it will happen again or if it will ever happen in this lifetime. Sure, there will be nights when the stars shine a little brighter. There will be mornings when the sun will rise a little brighter than the day before. And there will be days where you experience snow in Alabama. But you’ve seen it all before. How many times will you see that one thing that you’ve never seen before? And when will it happen again? This is where I will plant the following:

Lukens ascribed the saying to Edison [TEDL]: He borrowed two quotations to capsulize his conclusions. He quoted from Plato “let him who would move the world first move himself” and from Edison “opportunity is missed by most people because it comes dressed in overalls looking like hard work.”

Be on the look-out for opportunities that will set you up for success. Sometimes the benefits such as life insurance, health and medical insurance, the hours that you need, the salary that you need are not readily or immediately available. However, the opportunity to get there is, and it may only come around once in a blue moon. Know that it may not always be the full package in the beginning, with all the perks, bells and whistles that we would like. See the opportunity in the assignments. This is regarding lateral moves in your career, taking one step back to take 2 steps forward or moving from the C-Corridor where the cheese used to be and setting out on a new journey to find more cheese (a concept from the book: Who Moved My Cheese) Neither to be confused with taking 3 steps back and staying back…. That’s a different discussion. That’s accomplished through the process of discerning. You must be cognizant about which are opportunities via a minor setback, and which are truly setbacks which may result in a stay back.

The only way to know this is to know where you are. Is there any cheese in your situation? No? Then, any step could be a step in the right direction. In the book, Haw didn’t immediately stumble upon a new mountain of cheese when he decided to move either. While in the Maze, he hit dead ends and road blocks before he stumbled upon crumbs that sustained him until he found that new corridor. Whereas Hem remained in a situation where there was no cheese, hoping that the supply would replenish itself one day without him having to act.

You must be willing to relocate yourself and your mindset. Continually looking for cheese in the last place you found it; in the last job you had it; in the last career you found it and in the last opportunity and expecting it to remain there even as you see the supply dwindling, could place you in a constant state of rewind, pause, stop and repeat.

I think it really sucks that people often find themselves in positions where they have been out of work for a while, unable to find a job and with all the luxuries they are used to, whom end up taking part time jobs that don’t pay well or don’t pay what they need to sustain the livelihood that they are used to. It’s discouraging at times and it can be very depressing.

I am also in tune with the reality being that sometimes it’s impossible to consider taking a job that will cost you more than you make, to live. But I also know that there’s a such thing as in the meantime and temporary assignments. If you can keep in mind that some things are just temporary and can provide you a benefit from the opportunity to be placed in a position for greater, that’s the point.

Example: Batter up. You have been sitting on the bench for much of the game or you’ve been on the injured list and waiting for your chance to get back out there to play the game. You’re used to hitting home runs…but your game is a little off and you haven’t been your best. You can’t let fear of not hitting a homerun on your first bat take you out of the game- because here’s your once in a blue moon opportunity to show the team that you are worth keeping. If you don’t want to be benched for the rest of your life, you take your chance at bat. It may not be a homerun. The ball may have only landed inside the diamond. You didn’t reach the grass line. You didn’t knock it out the park, but it was enough to get you to first base. (opportunity) If your blessing is on 3rd base, you must know that 1st and 2nd base is a requirement. You must see that in taking your bat and getting to first base, increases your chances of getting to 3rd base more so than remaining on the bench.

12 Reads ICYMI, which may inspire you to get you through the Weekend and over your slump.

12 Reads that may inspire you to get you through the Weekend and over your slump. #ICYMI … May even help you address Monday

2018

Mom, Why Do Bad Things Keep Happening To Me https://t.co/wsX3A9S2TZ

Out With The Old, In With The New https://t.co/sR2c2uaexY

When The Ride Of Your Life Drops You Off Without Notice https://www.shesavvy.com/ride-life-drops-off-wo-notic/

The Truth About Getting To The Next Level https://t.co/kp3EcPlgRF

funloving

Mistakes And Decisions Are Not One In The Same https://t.co/pV8CcbsWxE

A Ship Anchored In The Past Will Never Set Sail https://t.co/YbFvNcSoGI

Why I Think The Only Way Up Is To Empower https://t.co/SnJw22oAll

Recognizing The Season Your Relationship Is In https://t.co/6ARSD1ziWm

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25 Rules From The Diary Of A Super Single Mom https://t.co/yU6bw0NqTC

Why I Have Chosen To Refrain From Using The Term Weak http://bit.ly/2wQSbVO

Red Carpets Rewards and A New Year to be YOU https://t.co/p3cfe25ZXk

Now Let Us Address These Elephants https://t.co/cEMVWIfFOv

 

First Order of Business: Learn To Do Things Alone

adult, blur, braided hair

First Order of Business: Learn to do things alone. I know too well, the story of how a person waited to do the things they wanted to do, because they were waiting until other people around them were able do it as well.

I also know about what waiting for the “right person” to do those things with, sound like. Granted, the right person could make, has made, that experience all that we imagined, something more exciting and memorable, but what do you know about having that experience alone if you never do it?

Last year, I wrote an article about getting out of your own way. It spoke to myself as well as to other people whom are the reason for their own life never taking flight and the set-backs that may follow, in the realm of living a life worth living. We wait around and don’t accept opportunities to spread our wings, because we want our friends to go with us. We don’t want to go alone. We don’t want to do it alone. We need someone with us. We are afraid.

Woman in a Window

Our friends weren’t offered the same opportunities, so we rest in our comfort zones until “our friends” get the opportunity. For one reason or another, such as: They don’t have passports to travel abroad, they don’t have money for the flight, they don’t have time off from work, they don’t have someone to watch their kid, they can’t get a ride, they don’t have a car, they don’t have anything to wear, their finances are not in order, they have too many other things that are priority to your big adventure. So, you end up taking on their priorities. You won’t to do the things you want to do, because you put their priorities in front of your own. In turn, you lose your opportunity to do it.

What you must know is that the time may be right for you, when its not for someone else. This is your time. It may not be your time when the opportunity comes around for them. You may have a funeral to attend, a wedding to attend, you may have just had a baby, you may be purchasing a house and need to watch your spending, you may need to catch up on your own bills and you just might have something else altogether that requires your time, money and attention. But what you do know is that you didn’t do it when you could have and when you should have. Sadly, you also learn that the people you waited on, will not be waiting for you.

blonde, boardwalk, girl

Here’s the application process: Start with something small if you’re not used to doing things alone. No one said you must embark on a cruise alone or a girl’s trio with one person. Just start with something like Brunch or Lunch and Dinner at a local restaurant. If you want to go out to eat, don’t wait for someone to take you or miss out on the opportunity to go to the grand opening while waiting for someone to accompanied you. Have a seat at the bar instead of a table, that way it’s not so noticeable and overwhelming. Never mind what you heard about how desperate it must look like for a woman to be seated at the bar alone. That was something a man came up with anyway. Whomever said that a woman sitting at the bar alone is waiting to be picked up, show them that this is not all the way true by changing the narrative. You and you alone can do this, where your life is concerned. If you are not there to be picked up, it’s as simple as that. Shut them down when they approach you. Take some work with you if you need the distraction. Nothing says, I am not interested, better than simply saying, I am not interested. You find all sorts of inspiration for writing when you’re sitting at a restaurant alone and you do meet some amazing people when you’re open to discussions. All I am saying is, it’s your party. You chose your entertainment.

Learn to go to the movies alone. Laugh out loud. There’s a movie you want to see, and no one wants to watch it with you. The ones who do, are not able to because of one of the aforementioned reasons. Those aren’t your reasons. Those aren’t your priorities. Those are not your excuses. If you want to see it and no one can go with you, go alone. There will be another movie at another time that you will be able to watch with someone when the time rolls around.

beautiful, blur, daylight

Be mindful of the excuses people make too. Sometimes they don’t have legit reasons, they have excuses and their excuses for not being able to go, should not become the reason you don’t go.

My good friend, who shall not be named, told me about a movie she wanted to see but didn’t because the guy she wanted to go with was not able to. Weeks went by and the movie became available for internet download. Not only did he download the movie to watch at home, but he invited someone else over to watch it with him and it wasn’t her. Then, in conversation with him later about finally seeing the movie together, he mentioned that he’d already seen the movie. Shortly after, she decided to take a cruise. Once again, she waited for her friend to settle some business where he’d be able to secure a passport. Once he received his passport, he planned a trip with an entirely separate set of friends, which did not include her. Imagine how that made her feel. The very same thing could be happening to you, when you wait for someone to be able to do something with you or for someone to decide that they want to do anything with you.

Young Woman With Luggage Standing on Train in City

Date yourself… and fall in love with yourself. Learn to love being with yourself. Once you’ve done that, you become OK with being with yourself. At that point, you realize you are ready to take that trip by yourself, make that move by yourself, harness that management role by yourself, and finally, render that leap of faith by yourself.

The Rules Book and Regulations on Changing your life

In a previous article, we talked about setting the tone and stage for your new year, new performance and all that it would require. We talked about how you want to present and represent yourself on your red carpet. Here’s something else you need to consider…

Like the Dr. might say, just before they prick you, “This might sting a little, but it’s not going to kill you.” I just want you to know that sometimes the truth hurts, but never should it kill you. Sometimes the truth is the antidote to the poisonous lies you’ve told yourself and that you have believed, which may have kept you from making a remarkable difference, by making a remarkable change in your life. The antidote can save you from yourself and from others. Read the following rules with an open mind:

alone, boulders, idyllic

You don’t need anyone’s approval to change your life.  This is one thing that people around you as well as the voice in your head will steer you to believe, is that you need an approval to change. They will have you believing that you are not supposed to change without their consent. You, in turn process that and tell yourself the same when you ask yourself if you will continue to be accepted, if you make a change. When you really should be telling yourself that you don’t care about being accepted, and that you are ok with someone not being ok with it, because the point of the change is to move away from the condition that the state of your life is in.

You will have to walk away from some things that tie you to the past: This includes old habits or things such as bad energy and your obsession with clearing up incorrect information which may have been shared about you, which has you up in arms. In your change, your attitude will shine through and those who will matter will recognize. You’d have to travel too far backwards to undo some things that happen and it’s time consuming. It won’t allow you to change. You cannot move forward, with one foot stuck in the past. Things as such, are designed to hold you hostage to your past. This might be love, lost love, infatuation, obsessions, addictions, lost time and reflections of the past, to include emotions. These things and thoughts will not serve you in the change you want to make, if they are apart of the problems you are having with remaining stagnant.

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You will have to walk away from some people that tie you to the past: These are all the people who are just hanging out on the street corners of your life. They have no real meaning, they don’t really care about you. They don’t even care about what may happen to you if you remain in a place that is tearing you down. These are the enablers, the ones who the sole suppliers of the mess that you have been trying to get out of, Beit: sex, drugs, alcohol, emotional turmoil, and instability in a relationship. They have been leading you along or dragging you along because it was easy for them to do. They will never be the ones who will tell you to get your life together, because they enjoy too much of the convenience that you provide them, by not having your shit together.

You will have to walk away form old ways that tie you to the past: This includes your attitude toward things, your inability to compromise when needed and your inability to understand because you talk too much. This includes how fast you would have closed the door on a conversation without allowing someone to share their view, because it was your way or the highway. Old ways also include your promiscuity, your lust for random sexual desires outside of a marriage or committed and monogamous relationship. In doing this, you absolutely must remember rule number 1! You do not need approval to do this. If you wake up and decide that you no longer want to be someone’s weekend, weekend lover, side chic, Netflix and chill chic, or Saturday lover, that’s your prerogative. Fans don’t spin without an energy source, so stop feeding it the energy. You can decide at any point during the year, day, month to change or stop anything you are doing, and it doesn’t require a permission slip. So, what if they call you names? It’s not what they call you, it’s what you answer to.

Woman in White Bodycon Maxi Dress Posting in Between White Concrete Wall

You will have to walk away from some places that tie you to the past: This might include nightclubs, strip-joints, bars and beds that you have found yourself in after a long night of drinking etc. You must abandon those places or abandon your idea of changing. Our environment has a lot to do with what we end up doing. I thought I wanted to be a bartender at a strip club at one point in my life, because I thought I could make a lot of money. It took a real gentleman to tell me that this is probably how all the girls started out. But that strip clubs are a breeding ground for money, drugs and sex. He said you may go there to be a bartender, but before long, you will come out a stripper. I shared that, not to knock anyone’s hustle, but to say that I was personally only interested in being a bartender. So, I had to think about what he was saying. If all the rest is something that I did not want to get caught up in, then the strip club was the wrong place to be. And so I never went.

You must re-write memories for places of the past: (If and only if this applies) … So, you’ve been saying that you can not go back to a certain city or place, event in which you went with someone from the past. You have built up a mental block for that time and place, in which you have filed it away under their name. It brings back too many memories. Those memories are attached to too much pain. But you love that place. It is possible to rewrite, just like you can rewrite a disc or a tape cassette and even a digital recorder. You must record new memories over that track if you want to hear a different song. If you want to hear different music, write another melody.

hand, notebook, outdoors

You cannot take non-believers with you: These are the people who want to get on the bus with a few other people who will sit close up, but will be gossiping about you the whole time and secretly hoping for your fail, fall and or stumble. They are waiting, just to say, “I told you so” They are also there to tempt you because they don’t believe you have changed or could change. They need you to be the same person for them, so they are there to constantly remind you of your past and to keep you tied to your past. They can not stomach that you could have possibly been able to move on without them or to move on and change your life not giving attention to the things you used to do in your past.

Changing your life may be the one thing that you have total control over. Use that power and control wisely. You must do better, if you want to be better. You have must be better if you want to feel better. Later for all that stuff about being the change you want to be in the world. How about we start with being the change we want to be in our lives.  You have to say this to your old life: “What I am saying is, the way my new me and new life is set up…. It does not include you.”

How To Remain Busy In Between Social Seasons

We adore social season! Not just because we get multiple rolling racks of clothes from Designers and Department Stores, tags still in-tact, with recommendations about what to wear to each event and which pair of shoes will go better with the selection of accessories which were also sent over to compliment the wardrobe. Not even because we are gifted the items we choose to wear from the selection that’s sent to us, along with a few others, out of the store’s generosity and compliments of the designer. But because it’s our time to have an enjoyable time.

Woman At Shoe Store

Social Season is to Socialites, what going out every Friday is for everyone else. Because they don’t go out every night, they look forward to these few months to have a drink with friends and meet new friends, while convening for a cause. They sanction the time for being able to socialize with like-minded individuals who have joined the circle and are committed to the mission and vision of awareness campaigns, fundraising events and philanthropic endeavors which they are involved in.

bag, fashion, jewelry

When those months are over, they retreat to their home. Some run small businesses from the home and others have blogs that they tend to, while others still lead non-profit organizations on into the next social season. For some, they have small shops and boutiques which call for their attention to booking and crunching numbers when there is no assistant, or because they just rather be the closest person to their numbers. Believe it or not, some have absolutely nothing to do but twiddle their fingers.

beautiful, eyewear, fashion

I have made a few recommendations below on what you can do during this brief period between social seasons.

Take A Trip: This is probably when travel arrangements are made anyway. Though you may have been just about everywhere you want to go, go again. I am sure there was land untapped and untrodden territory in which you were not able to get to on the last trip. Find a new place to go, somewhere you would have never thought of. Explore the ins and outs of the city in a taxi or on a train. Experience the culture in those cities rather than just the shopping options. Broaden your horizon. You’ll have something to talk about with your new and old friends when the season rolls back around.

Attend a Seminar or take up a class: Education provides an ever-flowing stream of knowledge and no matter how smart you think you are, there is something that you do not know. There is something else to learn. Find a class or seminar that speaks to the ideas you have about creating a more successful fundraising event. Attend a class online for a license or accreditation or certification that pairs with your line of business or a business you would like to open. Share these pearls with your friends or your partner.

Read A Book: Books contain many keys to success. You may find exactly what you are looking for in a book, from an adventure through the visuals to ways to unlock doors in your life which lead to something more fulfilling. Books have been described as the next best thing to traveling. If you don’t want to read a book or have read all the books that you are interested in reading, perhaps you can write one. If you are not into book writing, you can solicit the help of a ghost writer who will be able to take your story and put it into publication.

Learn a new craft: New craft can sound very boring, but that’s because we don’t give full thought to what crafts may include. It’s not just about sewing and knitting, crocheting and making curtains. Crafts can include so much more, such as: You can learn to make wine, cheese, candles, pottery, glass and jewelry. I can guarantee this will be an interesting topic for discussion at your next event and you can also use some of these items as party favors, giveaways and silent auction items.

Spend time with your children: We all know that social season can be demanding of your time, no matter how much fun you end up having when the party comes together. And knowing that, means knowing that you end up spreading yourself thin. Take this down time to spend more time with the children. Give the nanny the day/week/month off. Give the chef the day off and get in the kitchen with the little ones to bake cookies together. Cook dinner for the family. Take a cooking class together. Take your teenager to the movies, or spend time in your home with them watching Netflix. Bond with them (or at least try to) we know how teenagers can be.

Learn an unfamiliar dance: You can use this time to take up a dance class, learn to salsa, tango, belly dance, waltz, jive, ball room dance, hustle, flamenco, samba, mamba, lambada, quick step, east coast swing, swing and tap. This will prepare you for the next social season as well, when there is a theme involved.

analog camera, camera, casual

Other things you can do in the meantime:

Take up photography. Take up an acting class, yoga or Pilates. Use this time to work out, get in shape or stay in shape for the next social season. Explore Bike-riding, spinning class, hiking trails.

Use this time to build better relationships with those new friends you met at the last event. Use this time to get together with new and old friends to work on a project. Schedule a spa date to make it more fun. Plan a Women’s day outing. Take a girls-trip.

Work on something around the house, such as clearing the closet getting rid of items no longer needed, schedule for the salvation army to pick it up items you would like to give away. Rearrange furniture, making for a more inviting space. Decorate the house, adding accents to compliment the new season.

This list can go on and on. There are many things you can do to pass the time between social seasons, in which you can have a wonderful time doing. You must dust off the old thinking cap and get to it.

I’ll Drink To That! In 2018, what are you drinking to? Reader comments encouraged. Share and Re-tweet

I’ll Drink To That! In 2018, what are you drinking to? Reader comments encouraged. Share and Re-tweet

It’s time for a little fun and reader engagement! Don’t you just love when there’s an activity that gets everyone involved! Here’s your chance to participate.

We are drinking to success in the new year, success from previous year, goals in the new year, achievements and milestones in the new year. We are drinking to dreams coming true and for blessings and a prosperous year ahead. We are celebrating by raising our glass victoriously, to what we’ve accomplished in the past as well as to what we anticipate accomplishing this year as if it’s ALREADY done. It’s an exercise about speaking things into existence or to visualize it so that you can achieve it.

It can also be what you are doing in the present moment that you have been waiting to do, in which you will drink to. You are free to be as humorous, as serious and as sarcastic as you’d like to be with this exercise. I just ask that you keep it clean and G-Rated. Keep in mind, this is something that YOU are speaking into existence, if it’s not something that has already been done or being done in the present moment. If you think about it, you probably have more to drink to that you could imagine. Whatever you’re excited about having done or doing, lets share!

It’s not about being unrealistic and forcing people to get their hopes up just to be let down, its an exercise about the power of life and death resting in the tongue. If you see it as real, then that’s what counts! If you have done it, celebrate! You must speak over yourself sometimes, be encouraged and say give yourself an applause when done. It’s an exercise about speaking positivity and light into your life, seeing dreams manifest into something real and being excited about what you have done.

Take it a step further if you like and play this game while you’re entertaining guest at your home or while you’re out with your friends this weekend. Go around in a circle and rattle off things you would drink to. See how long the game goes on.

So, pull out your wine, whiskey, cognac, coolers, beer or sparkling grape juice. Below are a few responses I received already. This is what we are drinking to!

Just closed on my Dream home – I’ll drink to that

Just opened a homeless shelter – I’ll drink to that

Passes my Physical Exam – I’ll drink to that

Just refinanced my house- I’ll drink to that

My son just passed 11th grade – I’ll drink to that

My son got a job – I’ll drink to that

I am in great health – I’ll drink to that

Just completed budget for 2018 donations to various Charities – I’ll drink to that

My clothing line is in several stores across the country – I’ll drink to that

He liked it and he put a ring on it – I’ll drink to that

I was able to give to those in need – I’ll drink to that

My business is a total and complete success – I’ll drink to that

My largest Bill is paid off – I’ll drink to that

You’re not paying me what I am worth, Bye – I’ll drink to that

My credit card % usage is less than 30% – I’ll drink to that

Confirmed my trip to London – I’ll drink to that

Just furnished my new home – I’ll drink to that

Started a new job who pays me well – I’ll drink to that

My blog just went viral – I’ll drink to that

I’ve been asked to be an Ambassador for the ABFF – I’ll drink to that

I just got a phenomenal raise – I’ll drink to that

Just got invited to Turks Island – all expense paid – I’ll drink to that

Just made my first million – I’ll drink to that

The judge awarded me custody – I’ll drink to that

Headed to Dubai with my son – I’ll drink to that

Getting married in Monaco – I’ll drink to that

Just got married – I’ll drink to that

Just sold a house – I’ll drink to that

You must pay me alimony – I’ll drink to that

Pay my momma Bills, I go no time to chill – I’ll drink to that

My son made the A- Honor-Roll – I’ll drink to that

My son just got a full scholarship – I’ll drink to that

Won my lawsuit – I’ll drink to that

Paid off my school loans – I’ll drink to that

He finally paid his child support – I’ll drink to that

Lionsgate just requested my manuscript – I’ll drink to that

My Move across country was the best move I made – I’ll drink to that

My son is the teacher’s favorite – I’ll drink to that

Debt Free for the first time – I’ll drink to that

Hit the lottery – I’ll drink to that

My son just wrote a book – I’ll drink to that

Got Master’s Degree, finally at 62 years old – I’ll drink to that

My mom is looking stunning, standing next to the ride I just sent her – I’ll drink to that

The Battle Is Over – I’ll drink to that

My son gives a dam – I’ll drink to that

My son doesn’t get in trouble in school anymore – I’ll drink to that

My sex life is revived with my husband – I’ll drink to that

I am on the Best-Selling Author list – I’ll drink to that

I completed another book – I’ll drink to that

My screenplay just hit it big – I’ll drink to that

I have a sex life – I’ll drink to that

He made a promise and he kept it – I’ll drink to that

I said yes – I’ll drink to that

My health is renewed – I’ll drink to that

Cancun is looking lovely from where I am sitting – I’ll drink to that

I paid all my back taxes and got rid of the IRS – I’ll drink to that

The IRS got hacked, all records lost – I’ll drink to that

Headed to the Netherlands with my son – I’ll drink to that

My son has his own side quarters in our new house – I’ll drink to that

New Home construction finally complete – I’ll drink to that