Lifestyle, Parenting, Relationships, Travel, Uncategorized

Why Moving Out Of My Home Was Bitter Sweet and Why My New Situation Is Sweet As Pie

I moved into my home, in the Sienna Plantation Subdivision of Sugarland, Texas; in April of 2012. I had every intention of making it home for at least the following 5 years. I wanted a place for my son to grow, to call his own and to run around with all the freedom a One-Year old could want. I wanted a community, where extra-curricular activities, in a family-oriented environment and a family-friendly neighborhood; were in plethora. I wanted the security of knowing that my son was in a safe neighborhood (as safe as it could be anyway – little to no crime) and in a home where he had a large backyard, to run wild in the grass. I thought of that land that our home sat on when I was in grade school, and how we could go outside in the backyard and have the time of our life, without being in harm’s way. I wanted this for my child.

I accomplished that when I picked out the house, April of that year. Even though the move was a sudden and quick move, only looking at two other homes before deciding on this one, I was completely satisfied. I found the house on a Friday and I had moved in within a week. When I looked at this house, I saw myself in the kitchen being able to see the entire backyard, as my child was playing outside.

As I walked through the downstairs, admiring the open kitchen and bar area, the entertainment living room, which had floor to ceiling windows that stretched over 16 feet, allowing natural light to illuminate the entire downstairs area; I settled at the fireplace. I gazed over the backyard, from corner to corner, while standing indoors, at the fireplace. The whole back of the home, was wide-open. I envisioned a flat screen TV above the fireplace, accompanied by fancy art, which would anchor both sides for symmetrical purpose. I am a person who often seek balance, and it penetrates each part of my life. The living room was just one. I fancied the idea of raw paintings, that would adorn the collar bones of the home.

The walls had yet to be painted. Just the way I like it… A blank canvas. I knew that I wouldn’t paint them either, because there’s something about the look of clean, white walls, throughout a wide-open home. I took noticed the multiple options that I had, for placement of family portraits and moments, which would be captured between my son and me, for the duration of our stay.

I moved beyond the living room, into the downstairs Master Bedroom, which had a window seat and another large, open window area. It was just the right size, just what I was used to. The Master-Bath was to my liking, as well as the walk-in closet that would support alllll the clothes, shoes and purses that I would be bringing. From there, I moved throughout the breakfast area and dining room, just before heading upstairs. Once upstairs, on the catwalk, I had a choice to go left or right to decide which room would suit my son. But I took a pause, for that breath-taking moment, as I looked down, over the living area. The tall windows allowed me to see beyond the fence in the backyard, into the bayou. The privacy was just what I needed.

I took the right… Headed right to the room that I knew would be perfect for the little one. It was just off the open play area, where if I were downstairs in the living room, I could look up and see him always. The other side of the house, seated two additional bedrooms and a full-sized bath. So, there I was. 4 bedrooms, large walk-in closets, plenty of room, open kitchen, entertainment living-room, dining area, breakfast area, large laundry, open floor plan with lots of natural light, large, fenced-in backward, 2 car garages and the home was located at the end of the street, last house in the circle… on Story Book Trail. I was good. I was home.

Fast forward 5 years later, after I had hung my coat, and settled in over the years, making this home my resting place; I wondered through some old photos. It reminded me of the first day that I moved in. I sat in that timeless moment of nostalgia. I cried, I laughed, I danced. I thought about the reality of it being March 2017, and how the close of my custody trial had also brought a close to my story, on Story Book Trail. I would be moving out of the home in a week. I needed to get away. I thought about some not so great moments that happened in the home, which caused me to view to home a little differently, 1-year into being there. I loved the home, but shortly after I moved in and only after I revealed my address, some random acts of vandalism began to occur. At that moment, I wanted out of the house, but I had to make the best of the unpleasant situation and remain put, until the time was right to leave.

I was getting so much negative energy about being able to live in such a lovely home, (how could she afford it, that’s not her home, who’s paying for her home, it must be a rental or did she purchase it, she doesn’t have a job, she needs to get a job). (And the best one of all, “she’s using child support money to pay for it” ALTHOUGH, I wasn’t getting child support, I was paying child support) and all of this was creating a ball of hate, which was beginning to grow legs, arms, eyes and vicious teeth. It was hovering over my life unwarranted. It was crawling through my home, disturbing my peace. It was killing the spirit of joy throughout the walls of my home. Every time I looked around, something else was occurring.

It was almost like watching an apple decay. A beautiful apple, turning from red to black. From plump, to a soft and fetal position. A series of events were tarnishing my home. From break ins while I was out of town, to tampering with my phone lines and security systems, to people showing up disguised as delivery services and phone company representatives, who only wanted to get inside my home to plant wires… to the home being rummaged through while I was away. Even installing a security system didn’t work, because through the phone lines and my computer, my space had been invaded, violated and my privacy was destroyed.

But then I thought to myself, this is the 5th year, and all that I had planned for. Everything that was pushing me away from that home, was pushing me into the direction of something so much greater. I did not understand while it was happening. But I understand it now. I understood it while I was packing up and getting ready for greater. I had my last dance with the home, entertaining my son and his friends as they ran about outside, playing in water wars and washing the cars. I had my last rendezvous with the home the last night over a bottle of wine. I had my last affair with the home as I sat in the soaker. I walked the home corner to corner, as I had done when I moved in, taking in all the precious moments that were spent there- from room to room. I sat in each room and prayed. I walked upstairs and downstairs closing all the doors, as you would, a book once finished. I turned off all the lights, disconnected all services, closed all the blinds and locked the door for the last time. I was smiling and I never looked back, as I drove away.

Had I moved, prior to the season for me to move, I would be in a repeat situation. I am convinced, that it was by purpose, that I remained in that house until all the court hoopla came to a head, where I was then able to move at my leisure, unbothered and unfollowed. GOD is still good.

“There is always a sign that Precedes the move of GOD” That was the sound of those doors locking, one last time. That was the sound of me driving away from Story Book Trail, as that story was over.

Walking out of the house, I could hear only “One Sound.” That was the sound of “The Anthem” featuring Gospel Singer, William Murphy and the Full Baptist Church. Halleluiah, you have won the victory. You have won it all for me. Death could not hold you down, you are the risen king, seated in majesty, you are the risen King! I am grateful that GOD kept me in the valley, hid me from the rain… forever, he will reign.

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Lifestyle, Parenting, Relationships, Travel

Raise Your Glass with Class. Here’s to Getting What You Deserve in Life.

Love, Joy, Happiness, Tranquility and Balance are all uniquely designed and tailored by definition, to the person who chooses to live a life consisting of substance. They all have one thing in common. That is to wake up and go to sleep at peace. Peace of mind is the single most important ingredient that’s required, for the formula in life to be effective. When and if it’s achievable, within wingspan, within reach and at your fingertips, you should grasp it and hold on to it. You may not have another chance to secure it so easily, if you allow it to slip away.

I’ve pondered over the things that make me happy in life, things that bring joy as well as the things that make me sad on occasion. I reflect on good times and bad times, which come into focus through memories of yesterday, and anticipations of tomorrow. I have had many nights when I weigh the good against the bad and I count all my blessings. I search for ways to make a difference in the world, and I look to things, feats, people and avenues, that would not only enhance my experiences in life, but would provide a priceless return on the investment of my time. I stay close to people who want to see me win and do not have ulterior motives behind acts of kindness and concern about my future. I reciprocate the sincerity of their actions. I’ve learned many lessons in life and humble pie always adorns my mental kitchen. I have learned that once you figure out what provides peace in your life, it will also bring you joy, love, happiness, tranquility and balance.

The topic of Peace comes up every time we entertain a life worth living, where we can have and do all the things we want and want to do, respectively. It is the common denominator to all things happy and all things worth working for and waiting for. Peace takes on form, in what we find suitable for our existence and growth, to be profound, mellow, meek or even mild. Once the destination is reached, it then manifests itself into a lifestyle. You will realize that peace is a critical component, as you also began to understand that you could have peace in your life, if you take on the lifestyle that will provide it.

In doing so, you may have to walk away from some things. If you have already found yourself in a peaceful state of mind, you know what I am talking about. If you haven’t found yourself at peace, listen to what I am saying. You may have to walk away from some things that you truly love with all your heart. But you HAVE TO TRUST THE PROCESS! You may have to uproot some things, relocate and alter the route you’ve been taking, or change the destination altogether.

You will have to come to that inherent point of closure that I spoke of earlier. If you want to achieve peace and go higher, you may have to let go of some things, leave the luggage/baggage/obstacles and hindrances behind. You may have to turn the chapter, close the book and return it to the library. You may have to give up some things. You may have to close some accounts, stop making deposits, stop payment on the payments, return the checks, give up the store credit, stop making withdrawals and pull the plug on the entire operation, which has caused you to remain in an un-peaceful state.

Now, you are able to move some things around in your life, in matter of importance, in matter of serenity, in matter of courage and in matter of wisdom. You have to step back and look at the whole entire picture, instead of pixel by pixel. The image and the photo of what you want will always be there and once you step back, you will see it. Trust the process.

As seen on SheSaavvyNetwork

Lifestyle, Parenting, Relationships

Closure is the blueprint for building an empire of happiness.

How will you ever find happiness in your future, if your present is so consumed with your past?

It’s a fair question that deserves ample thought and respectful conversation. Reflecting, analyzing and meditating, can be considered as the preliminary things to do, in order to move beyond the pastime of thoughts that exist in your present life, for the sake of finding the closure that you seek and require; in order to cultivate happiness in your life. What is closure to you? Closure allows something to be mentally filed and stored correctly, but also to be chalked up to an event of the past, that will not affect your future.

For me, closure doesn’t speak in just one language. It’s a multi-lingual voice that translates into comfort through actions, by which you consider acceptable, in resolving something in your personal life. It comes in many different forms, depending on who you are, what you need and what you want. Closure is not accomplished through accepting a suggestion that doesn’t work for you. It has to be in a way that speaks directly to your own heart, mind, body and soul.

The closure that you desire and seek doesn’t have to be understood by the masses. Chances are, it probably won’t be understood by the masses. That is because journey is not theirs, and the testimony belongs to you and only you. The dilemma itself, which brought on the need for closure in your life, probably isn’t/wasn’t understood by the masses either. Your job is to cultivate happiness in your life. And by that alone, you can use a selfish approach, that will position you in the highest place to better serve the GOD that you trust.

If I had to direct someone who has allowed relationships and friendships of their past to violate their present and provoke a future filled with unhappiness, I would simply say that moving into a place where they will cultivate happiness, is how to do it. However, I personally realize that closure doesn’t come in the midst of encountering the same thorn on a daily. It usually comes in the end, revealing itself through a mind, body and soul, form of a mutually agreed upon and whole-heartedly, acceptable arrangement with yourself, to either cope or move beyond the thorns.

IE: If you are a man who has taken on issues with moving on in life, where that hurt is negatively displayed in malicious attacks that you execute daily, due to a break up left you in a place of hate, in which you are now stuck, and in a place where you began to live your life through a series of jealous, resentful and spiteful attacks on the lady that left you; you should seek to find closure for yourself and understand that it will not come by creating a firestorm in another persons life. Your happiness is not true or authentic when you do this, because it will never come at the expense of making someone else unhappy. Your life is literally in a vegetable state of existence when this happens. You will always be on life support and the moment that the plug is pulled… meaning when you cannot hurt or attack the one thing that kept your actions on life support, you will flatline inside

Release her. Let her go – Find closure and Move on, for once and for all. So that you too, can find the happiness that you truly want.

If someone has been holding you back, because they never got the closure they needed in a break up, or a job that fired them, or a relationship they wanted with parents, years ago; try to understand their need for closure. Give them the opportunity they need, to have that closure. Then, carry on. There’s no need to stand around forever after you’ve extended to them, an opportunity to have it.

It is perfectly ok to want to position yourself to go higher in life. It is perfectly ok to increase your happiness through quality of life. It is OK to be happy. Some people are consumed with entertaining mind-trash, in which they loose themselves in conversations that they have with themselves. They worry about what people will think. They worry about the next person, finding out that they have been doing something, that makes them happy. They worry about judgment from family and close friends knowing what they have been up to. They worry about family finding out the truth or finding out that they aren’t in private, the same person as they are in public. They worry about people finding out the reasons that they are not happy. They worry about what people will say.

It is ok to choose happiness. It is ok to surround yourself with happy people. It is ok to smile. It is ok to laugh and love. It is ok to move beyond the things that caused you to be upset and angry. It is ok to let go of the past. Closure is the blueprint for building an empire of happiness.

As seen on Cafemom.com  and SheSavvyNetwork