Losing Wi-Fi signal or having no Wi-Fi signal: This is a gross example of an American Luxury that many take for granted and one that I am hostage to. When I find myself in areas where there is no signal or when visiting establishments where Wi-Fi is down or the service is not provided, I’m officially IRKED. I usually select my hotels during travel, based upon their Wi-Fi capabilities. This is because I use my phone and laptop so much in my line of business. The inconveniences of having accessibility to an established, strong and reliable Wi-Fi signal prohibits me from meeting deadlines with uploading time-sensitive material, and pose issues with social media posting in “real-time” when I am sometimes required to.
Misplacing or forgetting my cell phone: I am such a hostage to electronics that I have never been able to bring myself to participate in those “put your electronics” down for a day challenges. When I leave home without my cell phone, it’s the sarcastic equivalent to leaving without my brain. Yes, I can think without my cell phone, but I can’t stop thinking about my cell phone when I do not have it. Make sense? LOL. I guess I can call this one, a self-inflicted IRK. As I have been known to B-Line back to the house to get it or simply not leave home until I find it. Obviously, this does not apply to emergencies where leaving the phone would be necessary.
Assumptions: I understand that some assumptions can be argued as reasonable assumptions. While some are reasonable, some assumptions are mere assumptions, based on someone’s lack of information, no thought given to and no research conducted opinion. On a personal note, what IRKS me most about assumptions, are when people assume that every time I write about a love interest, via poetry or a blog post/article etc., as if I’m writing a love letter about my ex-husband. It would be a reasonable assumption if it was a recent divorce or if the relationship for me, had ever scratched the surface of love. However, it’s not and it didn’t and more importantly, I haven’t been married to my first husband in over 10 years ago. (This is where I pause to say that based on that last line, it would be reasonable for you to conclude that I have remarried since then.) Wouldn’t be right-but it would at least be reasonable.
For someone to assume that I’d be writing about him, behooves me. Especially since I have never written him a love letter, not in real life or in literary form nor have I written a piece which portrayed him as the love of my life or a love interest.
However, in the assumers’ defense, I have managed to keep that part of my life a mystery; making it impossible for them to know who or what is making me happy or sad these days. So, I’ll try not to be as IRKED about their assumption. -)
When people don’t read – I recently came upon a quote: “I would never read a book if it were possible for me to talk half an hour with the man who wrote it.” – Woodrow Wilson with that, I believe that this is the only time I would agree that you should table a book. That is because the exchange could produce greater impact, in the opportunity to speak directly to the source and it’s one that should always be embraced. However, when this is not the case and the book is all that you have available, you should read all the contents within, to gain insight and draw a more accurate conclusion if you want to know about the subject. I guess what IRKS me about people who don’t read, is not that they chose not to be readers but it’s how much they chime in on things that they haven’t read or have partially read. Never partially read anything.
Working with an impossible co-parent: This is one that if you have read anything about my life, you know is a constant battle which embeds the thorn in my side. No matter how upright I try to be and what I do on the side of right to remedy this ailing relationship I have with my son’s father- he always leads me back to being IRKED. Arguably, he knows that it IRKS me to not allow me access to my child, so he continues to do it in effort to keep me IRKED. It works sometimes. Some days I handle it much better than other days. Some days I let it roll off my back, I turn the other cheek and I ignore… However, there are those days that I ask myself, WTF and I just want to scream: “Why would a man do this to his child!” What is his problem and why won’t someone tell him to stop.
I share all the above things because I truly do have a desire to bring my readers into my home, so that they can better acquaint themselves with who I am as an individual, if they are truly interested in knowing me. While I cannot personally invite the world into a physical place to dine in champagne and celebratory occasions alongside my closest family members and life-long friends- I consider my readers a part of my extended family. Knowing a person, is knowing what makes them happy and sad, what causes them to snap, what makes them tick and what irks them. While there are personal matters which I feel a person should always keep under wraps, such as: family affairs and issues related to children, beyond freely sharing a glimpse into what life is like raising children; for the most past, none of the rest is a secret and it’s not off limits to my extended-family of readers. I would much rather them know, than to assume. Ask me anything….
Originally Posted on Mom Bloggers Club
Tis the season! Here’s Your At Home Guide To Creating Holiday Flare And Memories At Home This Christmas
There was this song that used to come on, seemingly at the same time each year where I said, “Oh yea, it’s Christmas time.” Nope, it wasn’t Jingle Bells. Although I would love to go back to a time when things were simple. Even though things have changed from age 10 to 40, I still have the same holiday spirit when the end of the year approaches. I was thinking to myself that there might be a song that reminds you of when Christmas is coming also, right?
For me, it was “What do the Lonely Do, at Christmas Time.” Now before you laugh, here’s something to really laugh about… I was only in High School then. What in the Deck The Halls, could I have possibly known about that song? Nothing! That’s the point. Christmas is that time of the year where everyone gets excited about something. We look forward to spending time with family and friends when the season approaches.
We are reminded that it’s right around the corner when we hear songs, see traditional movies and notice that department and retail stores are displaying ornaments as such. We create memories around those moments, as they begin to build when the time draws near. We all have a song, for whatever reason we attach it to Christmas. We have a ritual, a tradition, a something that gets us in the spirit of Christmas. If you don’t, I am here to tell you how to do it in a fun and exciting way!
Break Out The Onesie: Yes, it’s revenge of the Onesies. You can never get tired of an adult Onesie. I have seen Holiday themed Onesies such as: Reindeers, Elves, Frosty the Snowman, Mrs. Clause and Santa, as well as decorative in holiday colors: Red and White, Red and Green, or even an extra-large Christmas gift or Christmas Tree. These make great for holiday photos around the Christmas Tree or Fireplace. If you’re looking for something less costume like and more fashionable, there are also fleece onesies that simply have a printed assortment of holiday symbols. Do something fun, as a family and get matching onesies, or couple onesies.
Throw on Some Holiday Music: Have a dance off or play musical chairs using Christmas music. This is a no cost, all fun game that everyone can participate in, from Grandma to Grandpa, the kids and teenagers if you make it fun and include prizes for the winner. It’s also a way to enjoy the music in a new setting rather than just hearing it on the radio all day long and becoming eternally tired of ever hearing another Christmas jingle. Look at it as recycling or revamping your holiday in breathing the life back into the music by giving it a new assignment. Don’t forget the Christmas Caroling and trimming the tree! Nothing goes better with decorating the home and tree, while listening to, “This Christmas” Karaoke Anyone??
Crank Up the Oven: Cookies, Cupcakes, Scones, Cakes, Pies, Cobbler…. Just bake something. Food is the universal language of love and comfort. It fills the house with an aroma that brings everyone to the kitchen around the kitchen table or nestled together watching movies in the living room or around the fireplace roasting marsh-mellows. Don’t have a fireplace? No worries. Create a DIY Firepit in the backyard. It doesn’t have to be super large. Something small and quaint with just enough fire for the marsh-mellows accomplishes the point of just bring everyone together for that time.
Holiday Drinks: I would never leave a good drink out of a celebration. This too, is something that the kids can get involved in, apart from the adults. So, while the adults are settling in with a Jack Frost Cocktail, virgin-style or with a little alcohol. I have found some amazing recipes for a plethora of holiday/fall/winter drinks to serve at your gathering at the house between family and friend. There are also many recipes for creative ideas in composing a punch for the kids and non-alcohol drinkers. Get super creative and family and friends form a team, in which they create a recipe from scratch and share for first, second and third place prize for the best Holiday Signature Cocktail.
Ugly Christmas Sweater Party: Ugly Sweater Parties and Contest are still winning. Who doesn’t own an ugly sweater that they would love to recycle and find its highest and best use, where a prize could be attached to that awful sweater your mom, dad, sister or significant other bought you many years ago. It’s probably in the box in the attic or in the garage next to the stuff you keep saying that you need to throw out, giveaway or sell to a consignment store. Which brings me to my next point: If you do not have an ugly sweater, check out the consignments stores in your area. I am positive that you will find one there. Even department stores have begun to sell them brand new, and with a mess of material that will help you bring home the ultimate prize.
Themed Dirty Santa: So, what’s the difference between a Dirty Santa Holiday party and a Themes Dirty Santa/ You said it! One is themed…. It is when going in to the party, you announce to your family and friends a decided upon theme, such as (Holiday Beauty Essentials, Things that make you Cringe, Food under $5, Bath and Body Works, A Victoria Secret Party, Gadgets and Electronics, Hats and Gloves, Socks and Scarves… etc. You get it? So, pick one or two, depending on how large your party or how many participants and go from there. When your participating guest arrive, they can draw a name from the hat and that’s whom they give their gift to. Or, have your guest pull names from a hat. Whomever name is pulled, gets to choose whichever gift from under the tree they would like. All gifts should obviously be wrapped.
Originally Posted on MomBloggersClub.com
What I remember most at Christmas Time
Family: Long before we came to include Secret Santa, Dirty Santa and Ugly Christmas Sweater parties in our Holiday Tradition, we were just a family of five, who celebrated Christmas Eve together. There was no sign of a gift in sight. We believed in Santa, we tried to stay awake to catch him coming down the chimney and we even tried to sneak a peek to see who’s “really” bringing us the toys we asked for. Mom and dad carried on through the evening as if it were a regular night. And it was, if watching TV and playing games together is still a cool thing to do. However, my sisters and I would awake to find the living room floor covered with a mountain of toys. Granted there were a few there prior to going to sleep, in which we’d tear the corners open, to find out what it was. I remember waking up in awe! Like WOW! Santa really did come…. Because there was no explanation as to how my parents went out to get all this stuff in the middle of the night, wrap it without waking us up, and leave it all there without us knowing. Once you become a parent, you see just how this happens.
Friends: This is when Playing Secret Santa came into the fold, along with Ugly Christmas Sweater Parties. In Middle School, High School and College as well as Post College when entering the workforce, Christmas parties were the thing to throw. Whether it was a house party where punch was on tap, or a company party where we were all required to participate in the holiday festivities (if you celebrated Christmas of course) I remember winning one year at my company Christmas party and after that, I went into high gear and awaited the next opportunity to throw on something ugly. Secret Santa and Dirty Santa was an inexpensive way for everyone to partake in the gift giving process and I have always thought that to be a wonderful inclusion at any party. Celebrating with friends and co-workers aside from family, but in addition to knowing the celebration would continue once you made it home was double and sometimes triple the pleasure!
Food/Drinks: Sneaking a taste of Eggnog! Yup. If you didn’t do it, that’s ok – it’s something I remember as a child and it was the best way for us to find out that we didn’t want to drink anymore eggnog, especially the kind with Jack Daniels in it! YUKK! My dad loves it though and it’s a Holiday Classic drink. As we got older, we learned to mix a few drinks of our own, if you know what I mean. However, still to this day, around this time I smell the spices of that Eggnog. It is a pleasant reminder that Christmas is here. It brings on the nostalgic moments of sitting around the tree, unwrapping gifts and oh, how I love to go down memory lane. While food is always in plethora during the Holidays and especially Christmas time, it has become necessary for me to remember how much weigh I will gain. Therefore, we now take the diet challenge over the summer, because we all remember the food that this time will bring!
Fun/Entertainment: Hanging the Mistletoe, Trimming the tree, decorating the house, hanging the Christmas Stockings, hanging Christmas lights…. Just a few things that I remember most at Christmas time. Not because I loved to do it, but because we had to do it. In fact, we hated hanging the lights and decorating the tree. I cannot remember when we got to the point that we absolutely wanted no parts in doing this. But my dad was serious about his decorations. He was that house on the street who had the tree and lights up the day after Thanksgiving and made it the most dreadful part for us. I am sure that at one point in our youth we loved it. I look forward to doing a tree these days, but I am not too much for the lights. Just takes too much. However, it’s something that I would take pride in doing with my own child. So, Dad…. I get it. I understand it now. Thanks to you and mom for making Christmas one of the most memorable and valued times of the year.
It can be awfully frustrating to learn that people you love and adore, are using their time to “talk about you” instead of to encourage, inspire, motivate and support you in ways that would not cost them a dime. All the same, when you know that if they were to use that time supporting you in the ways that you need them to, that you would be more successful. And in turn, you can do something for the greater good of humanity, by blessing others with your talents, skills, and by being able to financially provide for yourself and your family.
Personally, I think that when you are not contributing to someone’s success, you don’t have the right to talk about them at all. At least not in a negative way. I don’t drive down the street and talk about homeless people, when I have not offered them any food, or when I have yet to ask them if there’s anything that I can do for them or if there’s anything that they need. And I certainly don’t do a drive by, just to determine and make sure that they are still homeless, to satisfy myself. I do not talk about them, because I have not offered them a room in my home. While that may be an extreme example, if you consider that approach, it may ward off any negative conversations that you begin to indulge in, in the future; with regards to other people. If you are going to talk about someone, make sure that you are contributing to their success, or toward sincerely seeing to it, that they are doing well. Here are some ways to be productive on your own
When you know that someone is asking you about the statuses of another person, and they have no good intentions, except but to spread the information they get, around town, you should make it your priority to answer them with something worth sharing, such as: XYZ is trying to start a business and I think they will be tremendously successful at it, with proper guidance and support from family and friends… would you like to contribute? That will shut down all that negative-speak.
I made a mention of this once, during a time where I was filtering friends, to determine who was in the thick of it with me- versus those who were just there for the show. After-which, I found out exactly who those people were. Someone asked me why don’t I just block them. Well, here’s why: Because they are still fans, and fans deserve a seat- just not one on the front row. In other words, they are still a part of the audience. They too, inspire you to write about certain things, which may assist another person on how to tackle similar issues with people who are not there for the win.
Which leads me to the next point, which is how it is sometimes a challenge to pin articles such as this, because your real supporters must read and filter through it. They may get a bad taste, that you are even responding to such behavior. However, I do believe that many people go through this, which is why it is important to address and mention. Perhaps it does challenge growth to a degree. It encourages you to use discernment in business relationships as well as how to find ways to handle such instances, and how to move beyond the wanna be threats in your life. Dear Haters, I still want you to win
While I may “unfriend” someone in life as well as on social media, I don’t block them. I just revoke full access to front row and back stage and terminate their VIP access.
Take their seat away and give it to someone else who will applaud your performance, and offer positive reinforcement. Give the seat to someone who’s interested in being in the front row. Allow the others, to sit in the nose bleed seats. They don’t get to sit down here where the drinks and food are free-flowing and they don’t get the swag bags that are full and plentiful, when they have chosen to neglect the fact that they had full access, when they chose to go sit in nose bleed seats and talk about what they think they can see from afar. Since they act like a nose bleed seat audience, give them a seat in that section, and be done with it.
For those who run out of things to talk about, and get to the point that they feel the need to discuss the affairs of others, take the time to assess how you can be a part of the solution, rather than the problem.
Example: If you know someone who blogs for a living, and their blog is monetized, meaning they are paid on views etc., then talk about that to everyone you know. You should be telling everyone that you know, that XYZ has a blog, and that they should check it out. Instead of sitting around, wondering how much money they are making and if they are making money at all. Invest in them, by sharing their business, with everyone that you know.
Example: Someone owns a dealership. Instead of talking to people about how they may not be selling any cars,** tell everyone that you know that if they are in the need for a car/motorcycle in the near or distant future, that they should consider XYZ’S business.**
Example: If someone you know is unemployed, and actively seeking full time work to support their family – instead of spreading the word about how they lost their job, share the qualities that they have and what they can/will bring to the table to any future employer.** Speak to everyone that you know who may be hiring, and speak positive things about how this unemployed person would be a great fit.**
Choose your words wisely, when you spread other people business. Word of mouth travels faster than a speeding bullet. Make your contribution count.
I know… I know. Last year, I said I was done. I said that I was going to put all this costume stuff to rest, after I dressed up as the Nutcracker, for my son’s Christmas lunch and I was the only parent to do so. I thought I put the nail in the coffin when I did it, as I thought to myself, it may be time to close that book.
However, my son’s response to the DIY costume was priceless. Together, in the past, we have also done Captain America, American Dream, Spider- Man/Woman, Black Widow, Toothless and more. But last year, was the first year that I could explore a more sexy-adult costume, for a Halloween- themed party, due to my son spending Halloween with his dad. I must say, dipping my feet in that pond was something new. Being able to put on a costume and feel sexy, at the same time morph into an altered ego, Sasha and have some adult drinks without all the responsibilities was like getting a mid-day nap. Who says moms still can’t be cute? Not I. Plus, this year was the big 40 for me and there was no way that I would do it without a costume.
While I did miss having our usual Halloween together as mom and son, dividing the time wasn’t so bad after-all. Last year’s costume choices were the Sexy Swashbuckler, which is still a hit; along with the Sexy Viking Deluxe Costume, which my friends are still referencing, to this day. So why put it to rest? Nah, can’t do.
So, what about this year? In my opinion, the Biggest-Best female to hit the screen this year, was Wonder Woman! So, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that every wonder woman and child alike, may want to emulate this beautiful warrior princess on Halloween. It wasn’t alarming to find out that they sold out during the pre-sale! However, there are more and there’s still time to order. Because there are so many choices, you will never go without, when making your selection. I was able to find two other costumes, which fit the bill perfectly!
I’m slightly biased about the Queen of Hearts, as I am still a fan of cosplay, over the top costumes and getting into character. When I search for my costumes, I look for authenticity in the fabric, the vibrancy in colors and the overall, realistic look. I pay attention to stitching, threading, linings, quality of material and durability. That’s the number one reason why I have chosen yandy.com to suit my needs when it comes to holiday themed parties, birthday themed, Halloween and other events tailored around “dressing the part”
How befitting was it to dress as a Royal Story Book Queen, and an Enchanting Queen of Hearts on my 40th Birthday, in September! This is what I love about costumes. While there are designated times of the year, such as: Halloween, when one may find themselves dressed as a Mad Hatter; there are no rules on when you can throw a bash, where you have a themed party, which include playing dress up. There are no rules in the bedroom either, on who and what you can be, on any night of the year. (hint hint)
Feeling Royal? Feeling like a Queen? Why not dress the part? These are my two top recommendations for this Halloween.
The Enchanting Queen of Hearts Costume is priced at $169.00
Limited Edition found exclusively at Yandy!
“This gorgeous Queen of Hearts costume set features an opulent black halter gown with white straps, white quilted satin collar with black trim, white ruffled satin front trim that accentuates your curves, red heart front detail, red skirt panels, long black satin back skirt and white quilted satin trim details and crown included. (Petticoat not included.) Made in the USA.” (Yandy.com)
The Royal Story Book Queen Costume is priced at $44.95
“Contemplate whether it’s better to be feared or loved in this Royal Storybook Queen costume featuring a burgundy floor length gown with long draping sleeves, a white faux fur trim with a black polka dot design, a deep boat neckline with matching faux fur lining, gold bodice embroidery, gold skirt embroidery, a white skirt underlay, an attached pearl necklace, and a gold crown with faux metal detailing. (Scepter not included).”
Happy 40th to me…Yes, I am still celebrating
Yandy.com doesn’t just sell costumes. It’s a one-stop-shop for undergarments, such as Panties, Bras, and Teddies, Camisoles, Corsets, Pajamas and Sleepwear, Gowns as well as Rompers, Maxi- Dresses, Accessories, Shoes, Activewear and Swimwear. Plus-Sizes are available and there’s always something good going on, under the Last Chance tab. So, whether you are bringing sexy back or you just want to amaze yourself for a chance.
I want you to win because I believe in empowering people, women and men. I hope to motivate and inspire you to believe it for yourself too. I want you to win, because I want to see you happy. I want to see you rise above your ways, thrive and flourish into something beautiful. Even when you don’t wish the same for me, I still want to see it for you. I want you to have all that you’ve ever hoped for, wished for and dreamed for. Everything that you think will make your life great or greater, even those things which cause you to envy, or despise who and what you don’t know- I hope that someday soon, that you can have it. I want you to win.
I want your life to be an on-going list of amazing experiences. All the places that you want to go visit, all the luxurious hotel beds that you want to sleep in, all the first-class flights, jets, or private charters and yachts you want to take, the house that you want to live in, the financial situation that you want to have, the emotional state of happiness that you need, and whips that you want to push, I want you to have it all. I want you to have the clothes, the friends, the networks and the support. Even though you don’t support me, I still want you to win. Even though you have not been a friend to me, I still want this for you. I hope that someday, in the near further, that you won’t have to live vicariously through anyone, and that you can have the life that you so desire.
I want you to win. I want you to place every egg that you have in one basket, and I want it to multiply for you. I want you to reap seeds of prosperity and I want you to love yourself. I want you to be able to do all the things in life that will bring you peace and joy, whether it’s to have kids, work a job you love, have the career that you want, the title in life that you want, and I want you to be with someone you love. I want you to have the relationship with family that you want, sip champagne just because it’s Sunday and enjoy brunch every day, with people who wish you well. All this, because I truly want you to win.
It doesn’t matter who you are, I still want you to win: Whether we went to high school together, and you judge your own success in life off who went further, or whether you are an ex, who can’t get over a past of pain, in which I never knew I brought to you. I still want you to win, whether we worked together at some point and you did your best to get me fired, I still want the best for you. I will still put my best, in sincerely wanting you to have everything you took, take or are trying to take from me. Whether you were a girlfriend to an ex, who never wanted to see me with him, whether you were a parent of someone I used to know, who hates me for no reason. Whether you are a teacher who never wanted to see me graduate, whether you came in, 2nd place to me in a competition for a title or position that you wanted, whether you are someone who gets sick at the sound of my name, I still want you to win.
Even though you secretly stalk me, wanting for a moment to swipe my happy moment, I want you to win. Whether you are someone who, with bad intentions and motives, prowls my social media, I want to see you win….Whether you are a church member caught up in the hoopla of lies and deception, games and trickery, with no will to see me come out on top. I still want you to win. If you are an attorney, who took my money, with no intention to help, but all the desire in the world, just to get information and then take it back to those who betrayed me, I STILL want you to win. Whether you have taken my deepest secrets and placed your own verse on them, creating your own rendition, before sharing them with more people, who are just like you, I still want you to win.
I still want you to win, despite the blatant ways you have tried to make me lose. I still want you to win, even though, when you knew the truth, you still sided with wrong, just to see me fail. I still want you to win, even though you take from me and I give to you. I still want you to win, even though we don’t know each other, but you judge me based off things you may have heard. I still want you to win, even though you constantly look for ways to bring me down.
You can have it all, but if your heart is not right and your spirit is corrupt, you’ll never be able to see it. You’ll never feel the joy that comes into your life, long as you’re blocking the door with hatred, spite, anger, envy, jealousness. Wishing Hurt, harm and pain on someone else, or damaging a person, sabotaging a person, destroying someone’s reputation, credibility and life; will never return to you all the things you want. I want you to win so that’s why I’m sharing this pearl.
I want you to win, so that you can stop hoping and wishing it away from other people, and so that you can stop dwelling on what they have, and how you wish they didn’t have it or how you hope they lose it. I want you to win, so that you don’t have to rely on your happiness coming from seeing someone else lose the things they have worked so hard for.
But, here’s the catch: I want you to wake up and decide that you are going to be happy and that you want to win, fair and square. Your win can not come from taking, stealing, lying, or being manipulative, deceiving and dishonest. That’s when you’ll know that you’re WINNING
Then, with intentional purpose, set out to just be happy. I want this for you, that you will be able to do just that- so that you can live again. So that you can shut off that internally redundant behavior of hating on other people; by which you have been gossiping, spreading and perpetuating lies and creating drama. I want you to stop engaging and dealing in acts of hatred toward other people’s happiness and their possessions.
I want you to have a life that is so full of the things you love, that you will no longer concern yourself with me or anyone else that you think is doing better or that may have the things that you want for yourself. I want you to have the luxury of being involved with things that can be positively life altering for you as well as a blessing to the world. I want you to experience a transformation that is so powerful, that you wake up and realize that hating on someone else, will never grant you the happiness that’s required to truly enjoy any of the things above. I am still rooting for you!
Originally published on Cafemom.com. See it here