Something For Moms Everywhere

I was searching for the words over the weekend to share something that I was not sure if I should even share at all. Then, the more I thought about it the more it became clear to me that I had to. Because sometimes the very thing thing we went through, are the very things that someone else is going through. This is the time that we may have a word, which may help and assist someone else who’s going through something similar, even if just by letting them know that they are not alone.

As mothers, we are often criticized when we take on careers outside of being a housewife or a stay at home mom. Sadly, this criticism comes from other women and mothers sometimes. Even more sad, it can come from people that we are close to or share a past with.

These careers may come with the requirement of travel, where you are away for up to a 2-weeks period. It may come with the requirement of attending weekly events or conferences and being out until 10 P.M. on some evenings reporting on them (if you are in journalism) It may require that you have an after-school program in place for your child to attend, as you are not able to pick him/her up from school every-day. It may require moving away altogether, when the situation is that you are a mom with a portion of responsibilities that require you to accept work out of town, to meet the terms of those responsibilities.

For some 1930’s reason, there are many people who still think that women who do not stay at home with their children or are not able to be with their children everyday are less than worthy of being called a “good mom” whether it was by their own choosing or force through minimal options available which would have otherwise allowed them to stay at home with their children all the time.

Perhaps we should examine the meaning of the phrase “good mom”

Does she love and care for her child? Does she show and tell her child that she loves him/her? Does she provide for her child? Does she show her child that she has a vested interest in his education and success? Does she teach her child right from wrong? Does she instill values in her child and build moral? Does she support her child in ways that show her child that she is devoted to his/her mental and emotional needs? Does she feed her child and make sure he/she is eating healthy? Does she clothe her child and make sure he/she is clean and groomed? Does she listen to her child? Does she engage in bonding activities with her child?

So, she does all the above, but she happens to also work.

Does her child have an age appropriate understanding of why his/her mother works and that mom must work, to continue to provide the most basic thing that he/she need for survival? IE: Food. What about shelter? She must provide that as well, right? What about the things that go into that shelter and the things that are needed to maintain that shelter, such as electricity, gas and water. What about the additional things that are needed for the child, such as Shoes and Clothes. What about all that fun stuff he/she wants to do on the weekend? IE: The Movies, The Trampoline Park, Chuck-E-Cheese?

So, again… she has done all of this and makes it clear to her child as she re-iterates the importance of her having to work. Wouldn’t you say that’s a pretty good mom? If theability to do all of these things exist, and are being done…. I’d say she’s nailing this mom thing.

So why is it that people only concern themselves with the “picture” or the “image” of a good mom only being one that is with her child every day? What does it mean when someone says that you are “not there for your child” when you are doing all the above?Sidebar -RE: Divorced Parents – Have you factored in the naked truth that when a child is assigned to live primarily with one parent, it can be relatively impossible for the other parent to physically be there every day? And that is far from saying that someone is not there for their child, when they aren’t being allowed to. I think this is something that parents, men and women, should consider, as well as those who are judging the situation.

What I think people in the world often do to one another that is so wrong, is that they make you feel forced to make them understand why you have made every decision you have made in your life. Your responsibility is not to make them understand. But if it doesn’t make sense to them or if they “think” they would have done something differently, they can’t accept it. It’s unfortunate, because the way that they deal with the inability to understand is then to criticize.

This is what I say to mothers and career women: You should not consume yourself with trying to appease everyone with an explanation about why you have chosen to live your life the way that you are living it. It’s your story for a reason and everyone will not understand that. You may be on a different path than they are. You have a separate set of circumstances. Your destiny is not the same as everyone around you, and so your journey will not be the same.

Whether you are a stay at home mom, a career mom, a mom who does it all, a recently divorcee, a mother who’s going through the most trying time in her life… don’t let anyone tell you that you are a bad mother for doing something differently from what they would have done.

1. Don’t allow people to steal your joy by making you feel guilty about the healthy decisions that you have made in your life.

2. Don’t be afraid to take that job, embark on a new career which may require travel. People are going to have something to say, regardless. (If you did not work, they would talk about that too)

3. You are not leaving your child. You are a great mother. You are a mother who is making yet another sacrifice for your child. You have demonstrated this to the one person who matters… your child.

4. Don’t set expectations high for anyone to see this. People will discourage you. They will try to break you down. They will tell you that you are wrong. They will judge you.

5. Don’t be afraid to love and be loved. Don’t feel guilty about loving or being loved. Sometimes people will not applaud this. It won’t sit well with people who are not rooting for you to love or be loved.

But for everyone that is telling you that you wrong, there are more that will tell you that you are right. Sometimes in putting your child first, you must make that move. You must cultivate a healthy life so that you are healthy for your child and so that you can consistently provide a healthy environment for him/her.

I absolutely loved the time I was able to stay at home with my child even though I was a single mother. I chose assignments that did not require me being away from him at all. I chose assignments where I could bring him along with me. I incorporated mommy-hood/parent-hood into my career. But those were the options I had at that time in my life. As your child gets older, things change. The need to change his diaper every 4 hours dies out. The need to warm his bottle, rock him to sleep, and feed him will begin to fade. As the need to do those things dissipate, the need to do more will materialize. His needs are different, so quite naturally we adjust with the times to ensure that those new needs are being met. My child is older now and in school, he’s more independent and able to speak for himself. If we are maximizing the time that we do have with our children in loving them, caring for them and supporting them, we are all good mothers. You are a GREAT MOTHER.

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First Order of Business: Learn To Do Things Alone

adult, blur, braided hair

First Order of Business: Learn to do things alone. I know too well, the story of how a person waited to do the things they wanted to do, because they were waiting until other people around them were able do it as well.

I also know about what waiting for the “right person” to do those things with, sound like. Granted, the right person could make, has made, that experience all that we imagined, something more exciting and memorable, but what do you know about having that experience alone if you never do it?

Last year, I wrote an article about getting out of your own way. It spoke to myself as well as to other people whom are the reason for their own life never taking flight and the set-backs that may follow, in the realm of living a life worth living. We wait around and don’t accept opportunities to spread our wings, because we want our friends to go with us. We don’t want to go alone. We don’t want to do it alone. We need someone with us. We are afraid.

Woman in a Window

Our friends weren’t offered the same opportunities, so we rest in our comfort zones until “our friends” get the opportunity. For one reason or another, such as: They don’t have passports to travel abroad, they don’t have money for the flight, they don’t have time off from work, they don’t have someone to watch their kid, they can’t get a ride, they don’t have a car, they don’t have anything to wear, their finances are not in order, they have too many other things that are priority to your big adventure. So, you end up taking on their priorities. You won’t to do the things you want to do, because you put their priorities in front of your own. In turn, you lose your opportunity to do it.

What you must know is that the time may be right for you, when its not for someone else. This is your time. It may not be your time when the opportunity comes around for them. You may have a funeral to attend, a wedding to attend, you may have just had a baby, you may be purchasing a house and need to watch your spending, you may need to catch up on your own bills and you just might have something else altogether that requires your time, money and attention. But what you do know is that you didn’t do it when you could have and when you should have. Sadly, you also learn that the people you waited on, will not be waiting for you.

blonde, boardwalk, girl

Here’s the application process: Start with something small if you’re not used to doing things alone. No one said you must embark on a cruise alone or a girl’s trio with one person. Just start with something like Brunch or Lunch and Dinner at a local restaurant. If you want to go out to eat, don’t wait for someone to take you or miss out on the opportunity to go to the grand opening while waiting for someone to accompanied you. Have a seat at the bar instead of a table, that way it’s not so noticeable and overwhelming. Never mind what you heard about how desperate it must look like for a woman to be seated at the bar alone. That was something a man came up with anyway. Whomever said that a woman sitting at the bar alone is waiting to be picked up, show them that this is not all the way true by changing the narrative. You and you alone can do this, where your life is concerned. If you are not there to be picked up, it’s as simple as that. Shut them down when they approach you. Take some work with you if you need the distraction. Nothing says, I am not interested, better than simply saying, I am not interested. You find all sorts of inspiration for writing when you’re sitting at a restaurant alone and you do meet some amazing people when you’re open to discussions. All I am saying is, it’s your party. You chose your entertainment.

Learn to go to the movies alone. Laugh out loud. There’s a movie you want to see, and no one wants to watch it with you. The ones who do, are not able to because of one of the aforementioned reasons. Those aren’t your reasons. Those aren’t your priorities. Those are not your excuses. If you want to see it and no one can go with you, go alone. There will be another movie at another time that you will be able to watch with someone when the time rolls around.

beautiful, blur, daylight

Be mindful of the excuses people make too. Sometimes they don’t have legit reasons, they have excuses and their excuses for not being able to go, should not become the reason you don’t go.

My good friend, who shall not be named, told me about a movie she wanted to see but didn’t because the guy she wanted to go with was not able to. Weeks went by and the movie became available for internet download. Not only did he download the movie to watch at home, but he invited someone else over to watch it with him and it wasn’t her. Then, in conversation with him later about finally seeing the movie together, he mentioned that he’d already seen the movie. Shortly after, she decided to take a cruise. Once again, she waited for her friend to settle some business where he’d be able to secure a passport. Once he received his passport, he planned a trip with an entirely separate set of friends, which did not include her. Imagine how that made her feel. The very same thing could be happening to you, when you wait for someone to be able to do something with you or for someone to decide that they want to do anything with you.

Young Woman With Luggage Standing on Train in City

Date yourself… and fall in love with yourself. Learn to love being with yourself. Once you’ve done that, you become OK with being with yourself. At that point, you realize you are ready to take that trip by yourself, make that move by yourself, harness that management role by yourself, and finally, render that leap of faith by yourself.

The Rules Book and Regulations on Changing your life

In a previous article, we talked about setting the tone and stage for your new year, new performance and all that it would require. We talked about how you want to present and represent yourself on your red carpet. Here’s something else you need to consider…

Like the Dr. might say, just before they prick you, “This might sting a little, but it’s not going to kill you.” I just want you to know that sometimes the truth hurts, but never should it kill you. Sometimes the truth is the antidote to the poisonous lies you’ve told yourself and that you have believed, which may have kept you from making a remarkable difference, by making a remarkable change in your life. The antidote can save you from yourself and from others. Read the following rules with an open mind:

alone, boulders, idyllic

You don’t need anyone’s approval to change your life.  This is one thing that people around you as well as the voice in your head will steer you to believe, is that you need an approval to change. They will have you believing that you are not supposed to change without their consent. You, in turn process that and tell yourself the same when you ask yourself if you will continue to be accepted, if you make a change. When you really should be telling yourself that you don’t care about being accepted, and that you are ok with someone not being ok with it, because the point of the change is to move away from the condition that the state of your life is in.

You will have to walk away from some things that tie you to the past: This includes old habits or things such as bad energy and your obsession with clearing up incorrect information which may have been shared about you, which has you up in arms. In your change, your attitude will shine through and those who will matter will recognize. You’d have to travel too far backwards to undo some things that happen and it’s time consuming. It won’t allow you to change. You cannot move forward, with one foot stuck in the past. Things as such, are designed to hold you hostage to your past. This might be love, lost love, infatuation, obsessions, addictions, lost time and reflections of the past, to include emotions. These things and thoughts will not serve you in the change you want to make, if they are apart of the problems you are having with remaining stagnant.

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You will have to walk away from some people that tie you to the past: These are all the people who are just hanging out on the street corners of your life. They have no real meaning, they don’t really care about you. They don’t even care about what may happen to you if you remain in a place that is tearing you down. These are the enablers, the ones who the sole suppliers of the mess that you have been trying to get out of, Beit: sex, drugs, alcohol, emotional turmoil, and instability in a relationship. They have been leading you along or dragging you along because it was easy for them to do. They will never be the ones who will tell you to get your life together, because they enjoy too much of the convenience that you provide them, by not having your shit together.

You will have to walk away form old ways that tie you to the past: This includes your attitude toward things, your inability to compromise when needed and your inability to understand because you talk too much. This includes how fast you would have closed the door on a conversation without allowing someone to share their view, because it was your way or the highway. Old ways also include your promiscuity, your lust for random sexual desires outside of a marriage or committed and monogamous relationship. In doing this, you absolutely must remember rule number 1! You do not need approval to do this. If you wake up and decide that you no longer want to be someone’s weekend, weekend lover, side chic, Netflix and chill chic, or Saturday lover, that’s your prerogative. Fans don’t spin without an energy source, so stop feeding it the energy. You can decide at any point during the year, day, month to change or stop anything you are doing, and it doesn’t require a permission slip. So, what if they call you names? It’s not what they call you, it’s what you answer to.

Woman in White Bodycon Maxi Dress Posting in Between White Concrete Wall

You will have to walk away from some places that tie you to the past: This might include nightclubs, strip-joints, bars and beds that you have found yourself in after a long night of drinking etc. You must abandon those places or abandon your idea of changing. Our environment has a lot to do with what we end up doing. I thought I wanted to be a bartender at a strip club at one point in my life, because I thought I could make a lot of money. It took a real gentleman to tell me that this is probably how all the girls started out. But that strip clubs are a breeding ground for money, drugs and sex. He said you may go there to be a bartender, but before long, you will come out a stripper. I shared that, not to knock anyone’s hustle, but to say that I was personally only interested in being a bartender. So, I had to think about what he was saying. If all the rest is something that I did not want to get caught up in, then the strip club was the wrong place to be. And so I never went.

You must re-write memories for places of the past: (If and only if this applies) … So, you’ve been saying that you can not go back to a certain city or place, event in which you went with someone from the past. You have built up a mental block for that time and place, in which you have filed it away under their name. It brings back too many memories. Those memories are attached to too much pain. But you love that place. It is possible to rewrite, just like you can rewrite a disc or a tape cassette and even a digital recorder. You must record new memories over that track if you want to hear a different song. If you want to hear different music, write another melody.

hand, notebook, outdoors

You cannot take non-believers with you: These are the people who want to get on the bus with a few other people who will sit close up, but will be gossiping about you the whole time and secretly hoping for your fail, fall and or stumble. They are waiting, just to say, “I told you so” They are also there to tempt you because they don’t believe you have changed or could change. They need you to be the same person for them, so they are there to constantly remind you of your past and to keep you tied to your past. They can not stomach that you could have possibly been able to move on without them or to move on and change your life not giving attention to the things you used to do in your past.

Changing your life may be the one thing that you have total control over. Use that power and control wisely. You must do better, if you want to be better. You have must be better if you want to feel better. Later for all that stuff about being the change you want to be in the world. How about we start with being the change we want to be in our lives.  You have to say this to your old life: “What I am saying is, the way my new me and new life is set up…. It does not include you.”

The Best and Most Brutal advice I Can Give To A Wannabe Blogger

First, you must like to write, because that is what blogging entails: While you don’t have to be an author or a novelist, you do have to desire writing to some degree. I have been approached by many people who inquire about getting a blog started, in which they say, “I was thinking about doing some blogging. How do you “get into it?”” The first question I usually ask them is if they love or like to write, because at that point I am happy to meet a fellow writer. However, their response is, “I don’t like to write. I don’t know how to write, I don’t really like to write, I don’t think I am a good writer… I used to hate writing in school, but I think a blog would be cool.” Then, they go on to say that they want to take it up as a “side job” to earn extra income. They talk about how “cool” it is that you can write a blog and make money.

So, you ask them, what is it that you want to write about? To which they respond, “I am not sure yet. I haven’t thought about that.” You try to delve a little deeper by asking more questions. “What do you think you could write about every day?” Their response, “I am not really sure.” So, you have now established that they don’t care for writing and that they don’t have anything that jumps out at them to write about, which means it’s likely that they don’t have interest in anything that could hold their attention long enough to maintain a blog about it.

blue, bright, business

Funny thing is, I get the same thing from people who express interest in writing a book. They approach you and ask, “How do I write a book? …How do I get started?” The only way to write a book and get started, is to get started. An outline would be helpful. Brainstorming ideas of what you would like to share would be helpful. Deciding what your book will be about, will be helpful. But why does anyone need to tell anyone this? When people ask questions about doing something which aren’t more advanced to the process, it shows that they have done absolutely no research to begin with. Therefore, whomever your asking may look at your lack of beginner knowledge as a disinterest. You’re not interested in writing a book or producing a blog, enough for the person you’re seeking advice from to even share their knowledge. You must do the beginner work on your own. Save your life-line for things such as, “What would you recommend I do as far as choosing a publisher?”

Well, what is your book about? “I am not sure, but I think my life would make an interesting story. I have a lot of stories to share” OK. That may be the case, your life may be interesting enough to put into a book. At least you have a start. Now you need to shop that idea. The book title and chapters and content will expand and change once you begin. Don’t worry about the ideas being all over the place, that’s the purpose for a first, second and third draft.

apple, bed, bedroom

Same goes for the blog. Jot down some idea. Browse the internet for ideas. So, the second thing would be for you to find out exactly what you want to talk about. You will need to figure that part out on your own, because it will be your blog. You will also have to make time.

Who will you share this blog with? It’s imperative that you know your target audience. This helps you understand the marketplace for your blog. This helps you understand who you need to send this blog to and who will likely share it for you. You would not want to solicit auto geeks, with a blog about recipes. You need to determine who and where your audience is, so that you can reach them.

I also try to explain to people that blogs don’t just sit and accrue income. For some reason the public thinks that they can write one blog and it will produce income from the time they hit submit. I tell people who are not really interested in writing or blogging or giving attention to a blog daily, that this is not what they want to do and that it will not earn them any money just because it’s on a blog spot, website or word press. They have a warped impression that they can write one blog every five months and just because it’s on their WordPress, its making money. My advice for bloggers who begin without their own website would be to choose the platform that suits you. Find your niche, something you love or like enough to talk about every day. Something you don’t mind doing and being involved in. Something that if it were to consume you, you’d be fulfilled.

analog camera, camera, casual

Every Blogger is not an Influencer: This is where things are misconstrued. Some people create blogs as a hobby, by which they chose to monetize at some point or not. Some bloggers create blogs that showcase a variety of things they do, which is under their niche and fortunately gets noticed once their blogs grow. Some bloggers go on to become influencers, who get paid to list, post and advertise products and business services but only after they have built a following and have shown that they have an audience of people who will read their blog and potentially be influenced by their opinion. Becoming a blogger today, does not automatically guarantee that you will be an influencer by tomorrow. Unless, however, you already have the strong following.

A Bloggers life can appear to be uber fabulous when you get to the top of your game. Their pictures are lovely, they appear to have all the latest and greatest in fashion, accessories and technology. They take trips, are invited to private and exclusive events, they hobnob with the best of the best and they meet fabulous people in the process. The have awesome dining experiences in some of the country’s most luxurious locations along with having a night cap, courtesy of the 5-star hotel that they are staying in as a comp. So, then everyone suddenly wants to be a blogger, but have no idea what it took to build a fan base, a following, a reputation, or the preparation that went into selling themselves to companies to be brand ambassadors or influencers for their product or service. It is a genuine business and one that you must be passionate about doing because you are the engine behind the work.

Don’t be discouraged if you don’t have the following when you start. Very rarely did anyone. You can build your following as you build your brand and your blog. You can increase readership and subscribership through social media sharing tools, platforms and creatives, which help to market your blog. Keep your blog fresh, up to date and current. If you are writing great material that people show interest in reading, you’re on your way. When your audience see that you put a lot into the blog, supplying relevant content, information and solutions related to your niche, they will show appreciation via comments, likes, shares and following.

How To Remain Busy In Between Social Seasons

We adore social season! Not just because we get multiple rolling racks of clothes from Designers and Department Stores, tags still in-tact, with recommendations about what to wear to each event and which pair of shoes will go better with the selection of accessories which were also sent over to compliment the wardrobe. Not even because we are gifted the items we choose to wear from the selection that’s sent to us, along with a few others, out of the store’s generosity and compliments of the designer. But because it’s our time to have an enjoyable time.

Woman At Shoe Store

Social Season is to Socialites, what going out every Friday is for everyone else. Because they don’t go out every night, they look forward to these few months to have a drink with friends and meet new friends, while convening for a cause. They sanction the time for being able to socialize with like-minded individuals who have joined the circle and are committed to the mission and vision of awareness campaigns, fundraising events and philanthropic endeavors which they are involved in.

bag, fashion, jewelry

When those months are over, they retreat to their home. Some run small businesses from the home and others have blogs that they tend to, while others still lead non-profit organizations on into the next social season. For some, they have small shops and boutiques which call for their attention to booking and crunching numbers when there is no assistant, or because they just rather be the closest person to their numbers. Believe it or not, some have absolutely nothing to do but twiddle their fingers.

beautiful, eyewear, fashion

I have made a few recommendations below on what you can do during this brief period between social seasons.

Take A Trip: This is probably when travel arrangements are made anyway. Though you may have been just about everywhere you want to go, go again. I am sure there was land untapped and untrodden territory in which you were not able to get to on the last trip. Find a new place to go, somewhere you would have never thought of. Explore the ins and outs of the city in a taxi or on a train. Experience the culture in those cities rather than just the shopping options. Broaden your horizon. You’ll have something to talk about with your new and old friends when the season rolls back around.

Attend a Seminar or take up a class: Education provides an ever-flowing stream of knowledge and no matter how smart you think you are, there is something that you do not know. There is something else to learn. Find a class or seminar that speaks to the ideas you have about creating a more successful fundraising event. Attend a class online for a license or accreditation or certification that pairs with your line of business or a business you would like to open. Share these pearls with your friends or your partner.

Read A Book: Books contain many keys to success. You may find exactly what you are looking for in a book, from an adventure through the visuals to ways to unlock doors in your life which lead to something more fulfilling. Books have been described as the next best thing to traveling. If you don’t want to read a book or have read all the books that you are interested in reading, perhaps you can write one. If you are not into book writing, you can solicit the help of a ghost writer who will be able to take your story and put it into publication.

Learn a new craft: New craft can sound very boring, but that’s because we don’t give full thought to what crafts may include. It’s not just about sewing and knitting, crocheting and making curtains. Crafts can include so much more, such as: You can learn to make wine, cheese, candles, pottery, glass and jewelry. I can guarantee this will be an interesting topic for discussion at your next event and you can also use some of these items as party favors, giveaways and silent auction items.

Spend time with your children: We all know that social season can be demanding of your time, no matter how much fun you end up having when the party comes together. And knowing that, means knowing that you end up spreading yourself thin. Take this down time to spend more time with the children. Give the nanny the day/week/month off. Give the chef the day off and get in the kitchen with the little ones to bake cookies together. Cook dinner for the family. Take a cooking class together. Take your teenager to the movies, or spend time in your home with them watching Netflix. Bond with them (or at least try to) we know how teenagers can be.

Learn an unfamiliar dance: You can use this time to take up a dance class, learn to salsa, tango, belly dance, waltz, jive, ball room dance, hustle, flamenco, samba, mamba, lambada, quick step, east coast swing, swing and tap. This will prepare you for the next social season as well, when there is a theme involved.

analog camera, camera, casual

Other things you can do in the meantime:

Take up photography. Take up an acting class, yoga or Pilates. Use this time to work out, get in shape or stay in shape for the next social season. Explore Bike-riding, spinning class, hiking trails.

Use this time to build better relationships with those new friends you met at the last event. Use this time to get together with new and old friends to work on a project. Schedule a spa date to make it more fun. Plan a Women’s day outing. Take a girls-trip.

Work on something around the house, such as clearing the closet getting rid of items no longer needed, schedule for the salvation army to pick it up items you would like to give away. Rearrange furniture, making for a more inviting space. Decorate the house, adding accents to compliment the new season.

This list can go on and on. There are many things you can do to pass the time between social seasons, in which you can have a wonderful time doing. You must dust off the old thinking cap and get to it.

I’ll Drink To That! In 2018, what are you drinking to? Reader comments encouraged. Share and Re-tweet

I’ll Drink To That! In 2018, what are you drinking to? Reader comments encouraged. Share and Re-tweet

It’s time for a little fun and reader engagement! Don’t you just love when there’s an activity that gets everyone involved! Here’s your chance to participate.

We are drinking to success in the new year, success from previous year, goals in the new year, achievements and milestones in the new year. We are drinking to dreams coming true and for blessings and a prosperous year ahead. We are celebrating by raising our glass victoriously, to what we’ve accomplished in the past as well as to what we anticipate accomplishing this year as if it’s ALREADY done. It’s an exercise about speaking things into existence or to visualize it so that you can achieve it.

It can also be what you are doing in the present moment that you have been waiting to do, in which you will drink to. You are free to be as humorous, as serious and as sarcastic as you’d like to be with this exercise. I just ask that you keep it clean and G-Rated. Keep in mind, this is something that YOU are speaking into existence, if it’s not something that has already been done or being done in the present moment. If you think about it, you probably have more to drink to that you could imagine. Whatever you’re excited about having done or doing, lets share!

It’s not about being unrealistic and forcing people to get their hopes up just to be let down, its an exercise about the power of life and death resting in the tongue. If you see it as real, then that’s what counts! If you have done it, celebrate! You must speak over yourself sometimes, be encouraged and say give yourself an applause when done. It’s an exercise about speaking positivity and light into your life, seeing dreams manifest into something real and being excited about what you have done.

Take it a step further if you like and play this game while you’re entertaining guest at your home or while you’re out with your friends this weekend. Go around in a circle and rattle off things you would drink to. See how long the game goes on.

So, pull out your wine, whiskey, cognac, coolers, beer or sparkling grape juice. Below are a few responses I received already. This is what we are drinking to!

Just closed on my Dream home – I’ll drink to that

Just opened a homeless shelter – I’ll drink to that

Passes my Physical Exam – I’ll drink to that

Just refinanced my house- I’ll drink to that

My son just passed 11th grade – I’ll drink to that

My son got a job – I’ll drink to that

I am in great health – I’ll drink to that

Just completed budget for 2018 donations to various Charities – I’ll drink to that

My clothing line is in several stores across the country – I’ll drink to that

He liked it and he put a ring on it – I’ll drink to that

I was able to give to those in need – I’ll drink to that

My business is a total and complete success – I’ll drink to that

My largest Bill is paid off – I’ll drink to that

You’re not paying me what I am worth, Bye – I’ll drink to that

My credit card % usage is less than 30% – I’ll drink to that

Confirmed my trip to London – I’ll drink to that

Just furnished my new home – I’ll drink to that

Started a new job who pays me well – I’ll drink to that

My blog just went viral – I’ll drink to that

I’ve been asked to be an Ambassador for the ABFF – I’ll drink to that

I just got a phenomenal raise – I’ll drink to that

Just got invited to Turks Island – all expense paid – I’ll drink to that

Just made my first million – I’ll drink to that

The judge awarded me custody – I’ll drink to that

Headed to Dubai with my son – I’ll drink to that

Getting married in Monaco – I’ll drink to that

Just got married – I’ll drink to that

Just sold a house – I’ll drink to that

You must pay me alimony – I’ll drink to that

Pay my momma Bills, I go no time to chill – I’ll drink to that

My son made the A- Honor-Roll – I’ll drink to that

My son just got a full scholarship – I’ll drink to that

Won my lawsuit – I’ll drink to that

Paid off my school loans – I’ll drink to that

He finally paid his child support – I’ll drink to that

Lionsgate just requested my manuscript – I’ll drink to that

My Move across country was the best move I made – I’ll drink to that

My son is the teacher’s favorite – I’ll drink to that

Debt Free for the first time – I’ll drink to that

Hit the lottery – I’ll drink to that

My son just wrote a book – I’ll drink to that

Got Master’s Degree, finally at 62 years old – I’ll drink to that

My mom is looking stunning, standing next to the ride I just sent her – I’ll drink to that

The Battle Is Over – I’ll drink to that

My son gives a dam – I’ll drink to that

My son doesn’t get in trouble in school anymore – I’ll drink to that

My sex life is revived with my husband – I’ll drink to that

I am on the Best-Selling Author list – I’ll drink to that

I completed another book – I’ll drink to that

My screenplay just hit it big – I’ll drink to that

I have a sex life – I’ll drink to that

He made a promise and he kept it – I’ll drink to that

I said yes – I’ll drink to that

My health is renewed – I’ll drink to that

Cancun is looking lovely from where I am sitting – I’ll drink to that

I paid all my back taxes and got rid of the IRS – I’ll drink to that

The IRS got hacked, all records lost – I’ll drink to that

Headed to the Netherlands with my son – I’ll drink to that

My son has his own side quarters in our new house – I’ll drink to that

New Home construction finally complete – I’ll drink to that

5 Things to Get Excited About In 2018:

5 Things to Get Excited About In 2018: Out with the old and in with the new. Though the expression has been heard before, it’s a timeless statement to apply to life. Especially when you arrive at the conclusion that there is a need for change. Change occurs when we make any alterations to what currently exist. That change can be subtle or dramatic. Those changes can have an impact on eating and dieting habits, life adventures and activities we set out to take part in, and it can also manifest in the measures that we take in simply doing things that make our lives more enjoyable and stress-free. So here are 5 things to get excited about in 2018

Eating Well: When it comes to eating well, the results can be different across the board. It’s important to keep in mind that the things we eat and take into our bodies can greatly affect our health and the way we feel.

Spending more time doing the things we love: This is when you must carve out the time. Doing things, we love to do often takes a back seat to the things we have to do. But if you take a closer look at your schedule, prioritize, close in the gaps and tighten up the schedule, you may find that you do have an hour or two to spare for the things you love to do.  It can create impact your quality of life when you treat yourself to something you love, at least once a week. Better planning may set the tone for this to occur.

Being involved in community activities: When and if you have the time, and depending on how much is already on your plate, there is always a community endeavor underway. Every community has room for improvement. If you are looking for something to do that will be fulfilling to your daily life routine and you want to be more productive in life, explore where your efforts are greatly needed in the community.

Exercise: Coupling your dieting with eating well and exercise produces the best results. Find a regiment that works and stick with it. Solicit the advice from trainers and nutritionist to find the best way to go about achieving desirable results from where you stand in body size, weight and health conditions.

Re-direct Energy: You have found out what works and what doesn’t work. Now it’s time for application. Apply your energy to the things that work and focus on making it better. You are now able to see where time was wasted, energy and emotion was wasted doing things in the past or last year. Cut those things off and take that same energy and put it toward something else that you need to do.

Regardless of what new thing you do this year or whatever you decide not to do anymore, it’s a change to the routine. Sometimes that change is the catalyst for better living. Each day, we should strive to live happier and healthier. Start with one thing at a time so that you are not overwhelmed. There are no losers in this exercise. Pick out one thing you want to do that will increase your chances of overall happiness and go for it. If you are doing everything that you want to do already and are living a fulfilling life, then show someone else how to do it. Help them achieve this kind of satisfaction in a life well-deserved. Happy New Year.

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