Here’s What You Need To Know If You Are Headed to The Beach or Pool This Summer

It’s that time of the year again where children are excited about getting out of school, taking a family vacation and just being away from the classroom for a while. For the adults, summer trips are being planned to the beach, water parks and community pools to escape the heat. This means neighborhood and community pools and parks are gearing up to host hundreds of children throughout these hot, summer months to aid in the cool down. There’s something you need to think about as you head off to these bodies of water: Water Safety!

This includes learning how to swim. Ladies, while I understand the work and cost that goes into keeping our hair up, getting our hair wet is not a good enough reason to not learn how to swim if we are going to be headed to pools and beaches this summer. This topic only came to mind after so many years of swimming myself and learning that a lot of women have not taken advantage of swim lessons. Their main reason was due to their getting their wet, messing up perms, damaging their hair from the harsh chemicals that are in pools.

It’s a sensitive topic, I know. Because usually when you make mention of someone’s hair as it relates to water and the hairdo- someone is bound to talk about how much it cost to get their hair done and how they do not want to waste “all that money” at the beauty shop, just for their child or themselves to jump into the water and mess it up. I get it. I wouldn’t want to either. However, if I am going to make the choice to go to the beach or pool, where I know that I am going to get into water, there’s a chance that my hair will get wet. Knowing how to swim is important to me. It is also important to me that my child knows, since he loves the water as much as I do. Even when you go and wear a cap or have your hair up with no intention on submerging your head, there’s always the possibility of going under, so you still want to be able to swim your way out.

On a trip to LEGOLAND last year, I learned with my own child that you cannot always rely on a lifeguard. Neither should you. It was my own vigilance at the pool and my ability to swim, which rescued him, as the Life-guards stood by watching and others were pre-occupied with talking to each other, distracted by their cell phones and never knew anything happened.

I don’t want to run drowning statistics on you, neither do I want to create a fear that we are never to go into the water again. But I would like to convey that it is a serious matter. While there are several people who drowned who were able to swim, it was under harsh and extreme circumstance. Most drownings were due to an inability to swim.

For the most part, children love water: They love to play in it, jump in it and often underestimate the dangers that surround water. When they see water, the first thing that want to do is run and jump in it.

The first lesson of swimming is that you are going to get your face wet. So, in getting them used to it, we would start with water splashing.  Remove those small fears and it creates an avenue for the beginner lessons to begin, such as putting your face in the water, holding your breath underwater, being comfortable with being submerged in the water…. etc.

Getting back to the hair: In a related article I offered suggestions about a great conditioner for the hair. This was an item that I personally use, but not on a selling trip… merely making the point that a good conditioner may tackle the issues of hair and pool/beach. Invest in a good coverage swim cap. Condition your hair daily, so that the parts that do get wet are safe. Sign up for a beginner’s swim class. Learn to swim.

Additionally, there are hair products such as Aqua Guard pre-swim, which act as a protect layer that you can use on the hair prior to getting into the water. There’s also a product called Ion Swimmers leave in and Surf Cream Rinse Conditioner. These products are designed for protecting the hair against the chemicals in the water. Too much hair for a swim cap? That’s cool…. Leave the cap off and explore those conditioner and pre-pool conditioner options. You can always explore the idea of braids for your child while they are learning to swim or for when your beginner swimmer heads into the water. This will help tremendously with the tangles. Tie the hair up in a tight ball while braided to decrease the number of loose hairs that would get tangled.

The Wrap Up: If we know that even the strongest swimmer can drown, we know that the possibility of drowning increases as we put non-swimmers in beaches and pools without proper training and techniques or even the basics of breathing and staying afloat.

We can tackle these numbers this year by making sure that all children take basic water safety and beginners swim class. Adults can also join in on the fun! You can still get your Friday night hairdo and skip the water for the duration of the time that your style will last but take time in those weeks where you are waiting for an appointment, to make sure that you learn to swim if the pool and beach is on your radar for summer fun.

Suggestions for Swim Class: American Red Cross, YMCA, Boys & Girls Club of America, Private Lessons int eh community and neighborhood, Community Colleges and Summer Programs. There is a plethora of options.

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The Who What When Where and Why that you may want to concern yourself with

Woman Wearing Grey Jumpsuit Standing Beside Brown Metal Gate

When, Where & What:

In the spirit of being our own constant reminder that we are valuable, purposeful and destined for greatness, we must have what I refer to as a safe space. A safe place can be of physical form (a park, a body of water, your closet, a hobby) or mental form (meditation through yoga or being still) and it is a place that you retire to in any moment where you feel torn apart, broken, stagnant, confused, hurt, defeated, berated and belittled in your life. It’s a place where you go to find peace, relax, relate and release through talking out loud, thinking things through, practicing breathing techniques, being alone to recharge or rejuvenate, calm down and re-center yourself to emerge like the phoenix.

Woman Wearing Gray Short-sleeved Shirt at Daytime

Why:

The reason we must cultivate an atmosphere in our lives for such a space/place to exist is because if we rely on someone to do this for us, they may not be available for us one day. Not because they don’t want to be, but perhaps because they can’t be for one reason or another. (They are sick themselves, going through and processing their own set of issues, on a trip, extended vacation, at work, not able to talk, in their own safe place where they cannot invite the troubled of the world in while they are taking time to themselves. etc.)

While you are there, you must keep in mind the importance of your health and well-being, being the single most important thing for your survival.

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Also keep in mind that this place does not replace the need to talk to another individual who may be able to aid and offer guidance to us through our troubles, along with perspectives, advice and wisdom. It’s merely a place that we can rely on, in the absence of that individual that will sustain us. In my Christian Faith, they will say… it’s where you “have a little talk with Jesus.” This conversation transpires internally. Reach deeply within, where that seed of faith is and nourish it. This is where your confidence, safety and security rest. Bring it back to the forefront in this time and trust yourself with your life. Knowing that you can and will overcome these thoughts and situations which have tried to steal your joy and seal your fate.

Shifting Gears completely on the WHO:

Who:

We cannot allow the people who are around us to constantly tear us down, beat up down, bring us down, push us down and keep us down. Sometimes we must rise above, by cutting those people off who are wired with “fuggery” (in my Redd Foxx voice) as they have no good intentions. This is all stuff that we know but just need to speak it, hear it or be reminded of it from time to time.

You are headed in a direction where those people cannot go, so again I say THEY WILL NOT UNDERSTSAND AND YOU HAVE TO STOP EXPLAINING IT OR TRYING TO PROVE YOURSELF.

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Sometimes growth is forced upon you and it requires you to move out of a place where people are keeping you down. They are not in your shoes. No one is saying that you are to walk around with delusions of grandeur, but it is ok to feel that you are moving in a direction that someone else is not equipped to go, based on the things they are doing to you. It’s ok to say that you are better than your circumstance. It is ok to say that you are not about a life where you constantly seek approval through proving yourself to the people around who don’t believe you anyway. And it’s perfectly ok to know that you are better than people who constantly live in a state of jealousy, envy, spite and malice. You are not that person and you don’t understand them just as they don’t understand you. This is what makes you “different” perhaps if not better. Its ok to have the revelation that for what you are trying to do and where you are headed does not allow for people like that.

Woman With Black-and-white Sweater With Pants Sitting on Black Leather Sofa Beside Red Painted Wall

Stop looking back:

Sometimes people reach out just to be nosey. And because we have this natural desire to stay connected or to remain “loyal” to our roots, (old friends) we reach back with a response. However, their intention is just to make sure you are not doing better than them. It’s to get an “update” on your life so that they will have something to talk about. It’s not a sincere concern to see how good you are doing and it’s not to motivate, encourage or to inspire. Toxic people reach out when they know you are doing better but they want to say something to you that will have you doubting yourself. It has nothing to do with you. They are dealing with where they are in life and because they are not happy about that, they want to bring you down. And sometimes their contacting you, is to give you an update on themselves because they need to feel sufficient. Again, nothing to do with you. It’s their insecurities.

It happens. It happened to me recently. Someone asked me a personal question. I answered it – even after answering, they took that opportune time to slide in an unsolicited assumption on what they thought the truth was and completely ignored the answer I gave because they were determined to take that jab. This tells me that they have been sitting around worrying about what I am doing and had already come to their own conclusion which was more satisfying to their state of misery. When they heard a truth different from what they presumed, because they are conditioned the way they are which is anchored in an ugly spirit; they insisted on with their assumption. This was something that they just had to get out, in order to feel better about themselves.

People will question what you do because it seems so impossible for them or it’s not possible for them from where they are standing.  This is a sign that you are entertaining the wrong group of people and when you are doing that, you cannot be living your best life.

Woman Wearing Black Sleeveless Top With Green Hardtail Bicycle at the Back

Sometimes people force on you the feeling that you should show and prove something to them and that shouldn’t be your burden. It’s not your lot in life to make miserable people happy. If someone asks you something and your answer is yes, but they say no it’s not … just say OK. If they say you are anything other than what you know you are, just say ok, walk away and cut them off. They have shown you who they are, and it is now your responsibility to take charge of what you allow and accept in your life. If they say anything at all that speaks against who you are- you absolutely must know that this is the point where you cross the bridge without them.

Why even entertain this kind of mind trash OR this trash can individual? Wish them well and keep it moving. Be selfish in your right to move through life without carrying with you those people who do not mean well.

Generally speaking, “People will second guess the truth and wouldn’t think twice about a lie” so you can not stop to address every, single thing that a person has said, heard or thought about you. Leave it alone.

Something For Moms Everywhere

I was searching for the words over the weekend to share something that I was not sure if I should even share at all. Then, the more I thought about it the more it became clear to me that I had to. Because sometimes the very thing thing we went through, are the very things that someone else is going through. This is the time that we may have a word, which may help and assist someone else who’s going through something similar, even if just by letting them know that they are not alone.

As mothers, we are often criticized when we take on careers outside of being a housewife or a stay at home mom. Sadly, this criticism comes from other women and mothers sometimes. Even more sad, it can come from people that we are close to or share a past with.

These careers may come with the requirement of travel, where you are away for up to a 2-weeks period. It may come with the requirement of attending weekly events or conferences and being out until 10 P.M. on some evenings reporting on them (if you are in journalism) It may require that you have an after-school program in place for your child to attend, as you are not able to pick him/her up from school every-day. It may require moving away altogether, when the situation is that you are a mom with a portion of responsibilities that require you to accept work out of town, to meet the terms of those responsibilities.

For some 1930’s reason, there are many people who still think that women who do not stay at home with their children or are not able to be with their children everyday are less than worthy of being called a “good mom” whether it was by their own choosing or force through minimal options available which would have otherwise allowed them to stay at home with their children all the time.

Perhaps we should examine the meaning of the phrase “good mom”

Does she love and care for her child? Does she show and tell her child that she loves him/her? Does she provide for her child? Does she show her child that she has a vested interest in his education and success? Does she teach her child right from wrong? Does she instill values in her child and build moral? Does she support her child in ways that show her child that she is devoted to his/her mental and emotional needs? Does she feed her child and make sure he/she is eating healthy? Does she clothe her child and make sure he/she is clean and groomed? Does she listen to her child? Does she engage in bonding activities with her child?

So, she does all the above, but she happens to also work.

Does her child have an age appropriate understanding of why his/her mother works and that mom must work, to continue to provide the most basic thing that he/she need for survival? IE: Food. What about shelter? She must provide that as well, right? What about the things that go into that shelter and the things that are needed to maintain that shelter, such as electricity, gas and water. What about the additional things that are needed for the child, such as Shoes and Clothes. What about all that fun stuff he/she wants to do on the weekend? IE: The Movies, The Trampoline Park, Chuck-E-Cheese?

So, again… she has done all of this and makes it clear to her child as she re-iterates the importance of her having to work. Wouldn’t you say that’s a pretty good mom? If theability to do all of these things exist, and are being done…. I’d say she’s nailing this mom thing.

So why is it that people only concern themselves with the “picture” or the “image” of a good mom only being one that is with her child every day? What does it mean when someone says that you are “not there for your child” when you are doing all the above?Sidebar -RE: Divorced Parents – Have you factored in the naked truth that when a child is assigned to live primarily with one parent, it can be relatively impossible for the other parent to physically be there every day? And that is far from saying that someone is not there for their child, when they aren’t being allowed to. I think this is something that parents, men and women, should consider, as well as those who are judging the situation.

What I think people in the world often do to one another that is so wrong, is that they make you feel forced to make them understand why you have made every decision you have made in your life. Your responsibility is not to make them understand. But if it doesn’t make sense to them or if they “think” they would have done something differently, they can’t accept it. It’s unfortunate, because the way that they deal with the inability to understand is then to criticize.

This is what I say to mothers and career women: You should not consume yourself with trying to appease everyone with an explanation about why you have chosen to live your life the way that you are living it. It’s your story for a reason and everyone will not understand that. You may be on a different path than they are. You have a separate set of circumstances. Your destiny is not the same as everyone around you, and so your journey will not be the same.

Whether you are a stay at home mom, a career mom, a mom who does it all, a recently divorcee, a mother who’s going through the most trying time in her life… don’t let anyone tell you that you are a bad mother for doing something differently from what they would have done.

1. Don’t allow people to steal your joy by making you feel guilty about the healthy decisions that you have made in your life.

2. Don’t be afraid to take that job, embark on a new career which may require travel. People are going to have something to say, regardless. (If you did not work, they would talk about that too)

3. You are not leaving your child. You are a great mother. You are a mother who is making yet another sacrifice for your child. You have demonstrated this to the one person who matters… your child.

4. Don’t set expectations high for anyone to see this. People will discourage you. They will try to break you down. They will tell you that you are wrong. They will judge you.

5. Don’t be afraid to love and be loved. Don’t feel guilty about loving or being loved. Sometimes people will not applaud this. It won’t sit well with people who are not rooting for you to love or be loved.

But for everyone that is telling you that you wrong, there are more that will tell you that you are right. Sometimes in putting your child first, you must make that move. You must cultivate a healthy life so that you are healthy for your child and so that you can consistently provide a healthy environment for him/her.

I absolutely loved the time I was able to stay at home with my child even though I was a single mother. I chose assignments that did not require me being away from him at all. I chose assignments where I could bring him along with me. I incorporated mommy-hood/parent-hood into my career. But those were the options I had at that time in my life. As your child gets older, things change. The need to change his diaper every 4 hours dies out. The need to warm his bottle, rock him to sleep, and feed him will begin to fade. As the need to do those things dissipate, the need to do more will materialize. His needs are different, so quite naturally we adjust with the times to ensure that those new needs are being met. My child is older now and in school, he’s more independent and able to speak for himself. If we are maximizing the time that we do have with our children in loving them, caring for them and supporting them, we are all good mothers. You are a GREAT MOTHER.

First Order of Business: Learn To Do Things Alone

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First Order of Business: Learn to do things alone. I know too well, the story of how a person waited to do the things they wanted to do, because they were waiting until other people around them were able do it as well.

I also know about what waiting for the “right person” to do those things with, sound like. Granted, the right person could make, has made, that experience all that we imagined, something more exciting and memorable, but what do you know about having that experience alone if you never do it?

Last year, I wrote an article about getting out of your own way. It spoke to myself as well as to other people whom are the reason for their own life never taking flight and the set-backs that may follow, in the realm of living a life worth living. We wait around and don’t accept opportunities to spread our wings, because we want our friends to go with us. We don’t want to go alone. We don’t want to do it alone. We need someone with us. We are afraid.

Woman in a Window

Our friends weren’t offered the same opportunities, so we rest in our comfort zones until “our friends” get the opportunity. For one reason or another, such as: They don’t have passports to travel abroad, they don’t have money for the flight, they don’t have time off from work, they don’t have someone to watch their kid, they can’t get a ride, they don’t have a car, they don’t have anything to wear, their finances are not in order, they have too many other things that are priority to your big adventure. So, you end up taking on their priorities. You won’t to do the things you want to do, because you put their priorities in front of your own. In turn, you lose your opportunity to do it.

What you must know is that the time may be right for you, when its not for someone else. This is your time. It may not be your time when the opportunity comes around for them. You may have a funeral to attend, a wedding to attend, you may have just had a baby, you may be purchasing a house and need to watch your spending, you may need to catch up on your own bills and you just might have something else altogether that requires your time, money and attention. But what you do know is that you didn’t do it when you could have and when you should have. Sadly, you also learn that the people you waited on, will not be waiting for you.

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Here’s the application process: Start with something small if you’re not used to doing things alone. No one said you must embark on a cruise alone or a girl’s trio with one person. Just start with something like Brunch or Lunch and Dinner at a local restaurant. If you want to go out to eat, don’t wait for someone to take you or miss out on the opportunity to go to the grand opening while waiting for someone to accompanied you. Have a seat at the bar instead of a table, that way it’s not so noticeable and overwhelming. Never mind what you heard about how desperate it must look like for a woman to be seated at the bar alone. That was something a man came up with anyway. Whomever said that a woman sitting at the bar alone is waiting to be picked up, show them that this is not all the way true by changing the narrative. You and you alone can do this, where your life is concerned. If you are not there to be picked up, it’s as simple as that. Shut them down when they approach you. Take some work with you if you need the distraction. Nothing says, I am not interested, better than simply saying, I am not interested. You find all sorts of inspiration for writing when you’re sitting at a restaurant alone and you do meet some amazing people when you’re open to discussions. All I am saying is, it’s your party. You chose your entertainment.

Learn to go to the movies alone. Laugh out loud. There’s a movie you want to see, and no one wants to watch it with you. The ones who do, are not able to because of one of the aforementioned reasons. Those aren’t your reasons. Those aren’t your priorities. Those are not your excuses. If you want to see it and no one can go with you, go alone. There will be another movie at another time that you will be able to watch with someone when the time rolls around.

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Be mindful of the excuses people make too. Sometimes they don’t have legit reasons, they have excuses and their excuses for not being able to go, should not become the reason you don’t go.

My good friend, who shall not be named, told me about a movie she wanted to see but didn’t because the guy she wanted to go with was not able to. Weeks went by and the movie became available for internet download. Not only did he download the movie to watch at home, but he invited someone else over to watch it with him and it wasn’t her. Then, in conversation with him later about finally seeing the movie together, he mentioned that he’d already seen the movie. Shortly after, she decided to take a cruise. Once again, she waited for her friend to settle some business where he’d be able to secure a passport. Once he received his passport, he planned a trip with an entirely separate set of friends, which did not include her. Imagine how that made her feel. The very same thing could be happening to you, when you wait for someone to be able to do something with you or for someone to decide that they want to do anything with you.

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Date yourself… and fall in love with yourself. Learn to love being with yourself. Once you’ve done that, you become OK with being with yourself. At that point, you realize you are ready to take that trip by yourself, make that move by yourself, harness that management role by yourself, and finally, render that leap of faith by yourself.

The Rules Book and Regulations on Changing your life

In a previous article, we talked about setting the tone and stage for your new year, new performance and all that it would require. We talked about how you want to present and represent yourself on your red carpet. Here’s something else you need to consider…

Like the Dr. might say, just before they prick you, “This might sting a little, but it’s not going to kill you.” I just want you to know that sometimes the truth hurts, but never should it kill you. Sometimes the truth is the antidote to the poisonous lies you’ve told yourself and that you have believed, which may have kept you from making a remarkable difference, by making a remarkable change in your life. The antidote can save you from yourself and from others. Read the following rules with an open mind:

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You don’t need anyone’s approval to change your life.  This is one thing that people around you as well as the voice in your head will steer you to believe, is that you need an approval to change. They will have you believing that you are not supposed to change without their consent. You, in turn process that and tell yourself the same when you ask yourself if you will continue to be accepted, if you make a change. When you really should be telling yourself that you don’t care about being accepted, and that you are ok with someone not being ok with it, because the point of the change is to move away from the condition that the state of your life is in.

You will have to walk away from some things that tie you to the past: This includes old habits or things such as bad energy and your obsession with clearing up incorrect information which may have been shared about you, which has you up in arms. In your change, your attitude will shine through and those who will matter will recognize. You’d have to travel too far backwards to undo some things that happen and it’s time consuming. It won’t allow you to change. You cannot move forward, with one foot stuck in the past. Things as such, are designed to hold you hostage to your past. This might be love, lost love, infatuation, obsessions, addictions, lost time and reflections of the past, to include emotions. These things and thoughts will not serve you in the change you want to make, if they are apart of the problems you are having with remaining stagnant.

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You will have to walk away from some people that tie you to the past: These are all the people who are just hanging out on the street corners of your life. They have no real meaning, they don’t really care about you. They don’t even care about what may happen to you if you remain in a place that is tearing you down. These are the enablers, the ones who the sole suppliers of the mess that you have been trying to get out of, Beit: sex, drugs, alcohol, emotional turmoil, and instability in a relationship. They have been leading you along or dragging you along because it was easy for them to do. They will never be the ones who will tell you to get your life together, because they enjoy too much of the convenience that you provide them, by not having your shit together.

You will have to walk away form old ways that tie you to the past: This includes your attitude toward things, your inability to compromise when needed and your inability to understand because you talk too much. This includes how fast you would have closed the door on a conversation without allowing someone to share their view, because it was your way or the highway. Old ways also include your promiscuity, your lust for random sexual desires outside of a marriage or committed and monogamous relationship. In doing this, you absolutely must remember rule number 1! You do not need approval to do this. If you wake up and decide that you no longer want to be someone’s weekend, weekend lover, side chic, Netflix and chill chic, or Saturday lover, that’s your prerogative. Fans don’t spin without an energy source, so stop feeding it the energy. You can decide at any point during the year, day, month to change or stop anything you are doing, and it doesn’t require a permission slip. So, what if they call you names? It’s not what they call you, it’s what you answer to.

Woman in White Bodycon Maxi Dress Posting in Between White Concrete Wall

You will have to walk away from some places that tie you to the past: This might include nightclubs, strip-joints, bars and beds that you have found yourself in after a long night of drinking etc. You must abandon those places or abandon your idea of changing. Our environment has a lot to do with what we end up doing. I thought I wanted to be a bartender at a strip club at one point in my life, because I thought I could make a lot of money. It took a real gentleman to tell me that this is probably how all the girls started out. But that strip clubs are a breeding ground for money, drugs and sex. He said you may go there to be a bartender, but before long, you will come out a stripper. I shared that, not to knock anyone’s hustle, but to say that I was personally only interested in being a bartender. So, I had to think about what he was saying. If all the rest is something that I did not want to get caught up in, then the strip club was the wrong place to be. And so I never went.

You must re-write memories for places of the past: (If and only if this applies) … So, you’ve been saying that you can not go back to a certain city or place, event in which you went with someone from the past. You have built up a mental block for that time and place, in which you have filed it away under their name. It brings back too many memories. Those memories are attached to too much pain. But you love that place. It is possible to rewrite, just like you can rewrite a disc or a tape cassette and even a digital recorder. You must record new memories over that track if you want to hear a different song. If you want to hear different music, write another melody.

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You cannot take non-believers with you: These are the people who want to get on the bus with a few other people who will sit close up, but will be gossiping about you the whole time and secretly hoping for your fail, fall and or stumble. They are waiting, just to say, “I told you so” They are also there to tempt you because they don’t believe you have changed or could change. They need you to be the same person for them, so they are there to constantly remind you of your past and to keep you tied to your past. They can not stomach that you could have possibly been able to move on without them or to move on and change your life not giving attention to the things you used to do in your past.

Changing your life may be the one thing that you have total control over. Use that power and control wisely. You must do better, if you want to be better. You have must be better if you want to feel better. Later for all that stuff about being the change you want to be in the world. How about we start with being the change we want to be in our lives.  You have to say this to your old life: “What I am saying is, the way my new me and new life is set up…. It does not include you.”

The Best and Most Brutal advice I Can Give To A Wannabe Blogger

First, you must like to write, because that is what blogging entails: While you don’t have to be an author or a novelist, you do have to desire writing to some degree. I have been approached by many people who inquire about getting a blog started, in which they say, “I was thinking about doing some blogging. How do you “get into it?”” The first question I usually ask them is if they love or like to write, because at that point I am happy to meet a fellow writer. However, their response is, “I don’t like to write. I don’t know how to write, I don’t really like to write, I don’t think I am a good writer… I used to hate writing in school, but I think a blog would be cool.” Then, they go on to say that they want to take it up as a “side job” to earn extra income. They talk about how “cool” it is that you can write a blog and make money.

So, you ask them, what is it that you want to write about? To which they respond, “I am not sure yet. I haven’t thought about that.” You try to delve a little deeper by asking more questions. “What do you think you could write about every day?” Their response, “I am not really sure.” So, you have now established that they don’t care for writing and that they don’t have anything that jumps out at them to write about, which means it’s likely that they don’t have interest in anything that could hold their attention long enough to maintain a blog about it.

blue, bright, business

Funny thing is, I get the same thing from people who express interest in writing a book. They approach you and ask, “How do I write a book? …How do I get started?” The only way to write a book and get started, is to get started. An outline would be helpful. Brainstorming ideas of what you would like to share would be helpful. Deciding what your book will be about, will be helpful. But why does anyone need to tell anyone this? When people ask questions about doing something which aren’t more advanced to the process, it shows that they have done absolutely no research to begin with. Therefore, whomever your asking may look at your lack of beginner knowledge as a disinterest. You’re not interested in writing a book or producing a blog, enough for the person you’re seeking advice from to even share their knowledge. You must do the beginner work on your own. Save your life-line for things such as, “What would you recommend I do as far as choosing a publisher?”

Well, what is your book about? “I am not sure, but I think my life would make an interesting story. I have a lot of stories to share” OK. That may be the case, your life may be interesting enough to put into a book. At least you have a start. Now you need to shop that idea. The book title and chapters and content will expand and change once you begin. Don’t worry about the ideas being all over the place, that’s the purpose for a first, second and third draft.

apple, bed, bedroom

Same goes for the blog. Jot down some idea. Browse the internet for ideas. So, the second thing would be for you to find out exactly what you want to talk about. You will need to figure that part out on your own, because it will be your blog. You will also have to make time.

Who will you share this blog with? It’s imperative that you know your target audience. This helps you understand the marketplace for your blog. This helps you understand who you need to send this blog to and who will likely share it for you. You would not want to solicit auto geeks, with a blog about recipes. You need to determine who and where your audience is, so that you can reach them.

I also try to explain to people that blogs don’t just sit and accrue income. For some reason the public thinks that they can write one blog and it will produce income from the time they hit submit. I tell people who are not really interested in writing or blogging or giving attention to a blog daily, that this is not what they want to do and that it will not earn them any money just because it’s on a blog spot, website or word press. They have a warped impression that they can write one blog every five months and just because it’s on their WordPress, its making money. My advice for bloggers who begin without their own website would be to choose the platform that suits you. Find your niche, something you love or like enough to talk about every day. Something you don’t mind doing and being involved in. Something that if it were to consume you, you’d be fulfilled.

analog camera, camera, casual

Every Blogger is not an Influencer: This is where things are misconstrued. Some people create blogs as a hobby, by which they chose to monetize at some point or not. Some bloggers create blogs that showcase a variety of things they do, which is under their niche and fortunately gets noticed once their blogs grow. Some bloggers go on to become influencers, who get paid to list, post and advertise products and business services but only after they have built a following and have shown that they have an audience of people who will read their blog and potentially be influenced by their opinion. Becoming a blogger today, does not automatically guarantee that you will be an influencer by tomorrow. Unless, however, you already have the strong following.

A Bloggers life can appear to be uber fabulous when you get to the top of your game. Their pictures are lovely, they appear to have all the latest and greatest in fashion, accessories and technology. They take trips, are invited to private and exclusive events, they hobnob with the best of the best and they meet fabulous people in the process. The have awesome dining experiences in some of the country’s most luxurious locations along with having a night cap, courtesy of the 5-star hotel that they are staying in as a comp. So, then everyone suddenly wants to be a blogger, but have no idea what it took to build a fan base, a following, a reputation, or the preparation that went into selling themselves to companies to be brand ambassadors or influencers for their product or service. It is a genuine business and one that you must be passionate about doing because you are the engine behind the work.

Don’t be discouraged if you don’t have the following when you start. Very rarely did anyone. You can build your following as you build your brand and your blog. You can increase readership and subscribership through social media sharing tools, platforms and creatives, which help to market your blog. Keep your blog fresh, up to date and current. If you are writing great material that people show interest in reading, you’re on your way. When your audience see that you put a lot into the blog, supplying relevant content, information and solutions related to your niche, they will show appreciation via comments, likes, shares and following.

How To Remain Busy In Between Social Seasons

We adore social season! Not just because we get multiple rolling racks of clothes from Designers and Department Stores, tags still in-tact, with recommendations about what to wear to each event and which pair of shoes will go better with the selection of accessories which were also sent over to compliment the wardrobe. Not even because we are gifted the items we choose to wear from the selection that’s sent to us, along with a few others, out of the store’s generosity and compliments of the designer. But because it’s our time to have an enjoyable time.

Woman At Shoe Store

Social Season is to Socialites, what going out every Friday is for everyone else. Because they don’t go out every night, they look forward to these few months to have a drink with friends and meet new friends, while convening for a cause. They sanction the time for being able to socialize with like-minded individuals who have joined the circle and are committed to the mission and vision of awareness campaigns, fundraising events and philanthropic endeavors which they are involved in.

bag, fashion, jewelry

When those months are over, they retreat to their home. Some run small businesses from the home and others have blogs that they tend to, while others still lead non-profit organizations on into the next social season. For some, they have small shops and boutiques which call for their attention to booking and crunching numbers when there is no assistant, or because they just rather be the closest person to their numbers. Believe it or not, some have absolutely nothing to do but twiddle their fingers.

beautiful, eyewear, fashion

I have made a few recommendations below on what you can do during this brief period between social seasons.

Take A Trip: This is probably when travel arrangements are made anyway. Though you may have been just about everywhere you want to go, go again. I am sure there was land untapped and untrodden territory in which you were not able to get to on the last trip. Find a new place to go, somewhere you would have never thought of. Explore the ins and outs of the city in a taxi or on a train. Experience the culture in those cities rather than just the shopping options. Broaden your horizon. You’ll have something to talk about with your new and old friends when the season rolls back around.

Attend a Seminar or take up a class: Education provides an ever-flowing stream of knowledge and no matter how smart you think you are, there is something that you do not know. There is something else to learn. Find a class or seminar that speaks to the ideas you have about creating a more successful fundraising event. Attend a class online for a license or accreditation or certification that pairs with your line of business or a business you would like to open. Share these pearls with your friends or your partner.

Read A Book: Books contain many keys to success. You may find exactly what you are looking for in a book, from an adventure through the visuals to ways to unlock doors in your life which lead to something more fulfilling. Books have been described as the next best thing to traveling. If you don’t want to read a book or have read all the books that you are interested in reading, perhaps you can write one. If you are not into book writing, you can solicit the help of a ghost writer who will be able to take your story and put it into publication.

Learn a new craft: New craft can sound very boring, but that’s because we don’t give full thought to what crafts may include. It’s not just about sewing and knitting, crocheting and making curtains. Crafts can include so much more, such as: You can learn to make wine, cheese, candles, pottery, glass and jewelry. I can guarantee this will be an interesting topic for discussion at your next event and you can also use some of these items as party favors, giveaways and silent auction items.

Spend time with your children: We all know that social season can be demanding of your time, no matter how much fun you end up having when the party comes together. And knowing that, means knowing that you end up spreading yourself thin. Take this down time to spend more time with the children. Give the nanny the day/week/month off. Give the chef the day off and get in the kitchen with the little ones to bake cookies together. Cook dinner for the family. Take a cooking class together. Take your teenager to the movies, or spend time in your home with them watching Netflix. Bond with them (or at least try to) we know how teenagers can be.

Learn an unfamiliar dance: You can use this time to take up a dance class, learn to salsa, tango, belly dance, waltz, jive, ball room dance, hustle, flamenco, samba, mamba, lambada, quick step, east coast swing, swing and tap. This will prepare you for the next social season as well, when there is a theme involved.

analog camera, camera, casual

Other things you can do in the meantime:

Take up photography. Take up an acting class, yoga or Pilates. Use this time to work out, get in shape or stay in shape for the next social season. Explore Bike-riding, spinning class, hiking trails.

Use this time to build better relationships with those new friends you met at the last event. Use this time to get together with new and old friends to work on a project. Schedule a spa date to make it more fun. Plan a Women’s day outing. Take a girls-trip.

Work on something around the house, such as clearing the closet getting rid of items no longer needed, schedule for the salvation army to pick it up items you would like to give away. Rearrange furniture, making for a more inviting space. Decorate the house, adding accents to compliment the new season.

This list can go on and on. There are many things you can do to pass the time between social seasons, in which you can have a wonderful time doing. You must dust off the old thinking cap and get to it.