Lifestyle, Parenting, Relationships, Travel, Uncategorized

Why Moving Out Of My Home Was Bitter Sweet and Why My New Situation Is Sweet As Pie

I moved into my home, in the Sienna Plantation Subdivision of Sugarland, Texas; in April of 2012. I had every intention of making it home for at least the following 5 years. I wanted a place for my son to grow, to call his own and to run around with all the freedom a One-Year old could want. I wanted a community, where extra-curricular activities, in a family-oriented environment and a family-friendly neighborhood; were in plethora. I wanted the security of knowing that my son was in a safe neighborhood (as safe as it could be anyway – little to no crime) and in a home where he had a large backyard, to run wild in the grass. I thought of that land that our home sat on when I was in grade school, and how we could go outside in the backyard and have the time of our life, without being in harm’s way. I wanted this for my child.

I accomplished that when I picked out the house, April of that year. Even though the move was a sudden and quick move, only looking at two other homes before deciding on this one, I was completely satisfied. I found the house on a Friday and I had moved in within a week. When I looked at this house, I saw myself in the kitchen being able to see the entire backyard, as my child was playing outside.

As I walked through the downstairs, admiring the open kitchen and bar area, the entertainment living room, which had floor to ceiling windows that stretched over 16 feet, allowing natural light to illuminate the entire downstairs area; I settled at the fireplace. I gazed over the backyard, from corner to corner, while standing indoors, at the fireplace. The whole back of the home, was wide-open. I envisioned a flat screen TV above the fireplace, accompanied by fancy art, which would anchor both sides for symmetrical purpose. I am a person who often seek balance, and it penetrates each part of my life. The living room was just one. I fancied the idea of raw paintings, that would adorn the collar bones of the home.

The walls had yet to be painted. Just the way I like it… A blank canvas. I knew that I wouldn’t paint them either, because there’s something about the look of clean, white walls, throughout a wide-open home. I took noticed the multiple options that I had, for placement of family portraits and moments, which would be captured between my son and me, for the duration of our stay.

I moved beyond the living room, into the downstairs Master Bedroom, which had a window seat and another large, open window area. It was just the right size, just what I was used to. The Master-Bath was to my liking, as well as the walk-in closet that would support alllll the clothes, shoes and purses that I would be bringing. From there, I moved throughout the breakfast area and dining room, just before heading upstairs. Once upstairs, on the catwalk, I had a choice to go left or right to decide which room would suit my son. But I took a pause, for that breath-taking moment, as I looked down, over the living area. The tall windows allowed me to see beyond the fence in the backyard, into the bayou. The privacy was just what I needed.

I took the right… Headed right to the room that I knew would be perfect for the little one. It was just off the open play area, where if I were downstairs in the living room, I could look up and see him always. The other side of the house, seated two additional bedrooms and a full-sized bath. So, there I was. 4 bedrooms, large walk-in closets, plenty of room, open kitchen, entertainment living-room, dining area, breakfast area, large laundry, open floor plan with lots of natural light, large, fenced-in backward, 2 car garages and the home was located at the end of the street, last house in the circle… on Story Book Trail. I was good. I was home.

Fast forward 5 years later, after I had hung my coat, and settled in over the years, making this home my resting place; I wondered through some old photos. It reminded me of the first day that I moved in. I sat in that timeless moment of nostalgia. I cried, I laughed, I danced. I thought about the reality of it being March 2017, and how the close of my custody trial had also brought a close to my story, on Story Book Trail. I would be moving out of the home in a week. I needed to get away. I thought about some not so great moments that happened in the home, which caused me to view to home a little differently, 1-year into being there. I loved the home, but shortly after I moved in and only after I revealed my address, some random acts of vandalism began to occur. At that moment, I wanted out of the house, but I had to make the best of the unpleasant situation and remain put, until the time was right to leave.

I was getting so much negative energy about being able to live in such a lovely home, (how could she afford it, that’s not her home, who’s paying for her home, it must be a rental or did she purchase it, she doesn’t have a job, she needs to get a job). (And the best one of all, “she’s using child support money to pay for it” ALTHOUGH, I wasn’t getting child support, I was paying child support) and all of this was creating a ball of hate, which was beginning to grow legs, arms, eyes and vicious teeth. It was hovering over my life unwarranted. It was crawling through my home, disturbing my peace. It was killing the spirit of joy throughout the walls of my home. Every time I looked around, something else was occurring.

It was almost like watching an apple decay. A beautiful apple, turning from red to black. From plump, to a soft and fetal position. A series of events were tarnishing my home. From break ins while I was out of town, to tampering with my phone lines and security systems, to people showing up disguised as delivery services and phone company representatives, who only wanted to get inside my home to plant wires… to the home being rummaged through while I was away. Even installing a security system didn’t work, because through the phone lines and my computer, my space had been invaded, violated and my privacy was destroyed.

But then I thought to myself, this is the 5th year, and all that I had planned for. Everything that was pushing me away from that home, was pushing me into the direction of something so much greater. I did not understand while it was happening. But I understand it now. I understood it while I was packing up and getting ready for greater. I had my last dance with the home, entertaining my son and his friends as they ran about outside, playing in water wars and washing the cars. I had my last rendezvous with the home the last night over a bottle of wine. I had my last affair with the home as I sat in the soaker. I walked the home corner to corner, as I had done when I moved in, taking in all the precious moments that were spent there- from room to room. I sat in each room and prayed. I walked upstairs and downstairs closing all the doors, as you would, a book once finished. I turned off all the lights, disconnected all services, closed all the blinds and locked the door for the last time. I was smiling and I never looked back, as I drove away.

Had I moved, prior to the season for me to move, I would be in a repeat situation. I am convinced, that it was by purpose, that I remained in that house until all the court hoopla came to a head, where I was then able to move at my leisure, unbothered and unfollowed. GOD is still good.

“There is always a sign that Precedes the move of GOD” That was the sound of those doors locking, one last time. That was the sound of me driving away from Story Book Trail, as that story was over.

Walking out of the house, I could hear only “One Sound.” That was the sound of “The Anthem” featuring Gospel Singer, William Murphy and the Full Baptist Church. Halleluiah, you have won the victory. You have won it all for me. Death could not hold you down, you are the risen king, seated in majesty, you are the risen King! I am grateful that GOD kept me in the valley, hid me from the rain… forever, he will reign.

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Lifestyle, Uncategorized

Here’s My Highly Non-Recommended Diet And Exercise Plan Which Happens To, I Mean Which Use To Work For Me.

I’ve never been one to stick to a healthy diet or exercise program and I’m not a considered a healthy eater. I don’t consider myself to be in the best of shape, with regards to being able to run a mile without becoming winded quickly. With that said, It should be obvious that I am not fitness GURU. I just happen to know my body, and what works for me.

I remember being 30-years old, when I got away with eating little Debbie snack cakes every night, and a gallon of Gatorade. I’d exercise in the evenings, after work, doing a 3-5 mile run walk outside around the track, followed by a 2-3 mile run, on the treadmill. After that, another mile on the stationary bike. I was 5-feet 8-inches, weighing in at 115 lbs, at 30 years old. I gauged my size and growth by a pair of jeans that I wore in High School and College. If I could still fit them, I was doing good. If I couldn’t, then it was time to peel back. It was as simple as that. I was hell bent, on remaining the same size, and so when my eating sprees got out of control, my motivation was to get back into those jeans.

Yea, it’s true. I go on ice cream binges, fried food fiascos and red wine Soirees that will make the person standing next to me say WTF! And I’ve always been the topic of discussion when it came to eating unhealthy food and staying the same size.

UNTIL LATELY. This is what they mean when they say it will catch up with you. It tracked me down like an ex from college that I was hoping to never run into. It came to my front door, unannounced and was on my living room sofa before I could say Calgon take me away.

It happened so unexpectedly. 15 lbs in 5 months gripped my waist, hips and buttocks like the seat of a luxury vehicle does, when it locks you by the seat belt, after slamming on the brakes! What was I to do? Age 39, at my heaviest and biggest size in life. 145 lbs and rising….But I only weighed 150 at full term pregnancy, when I was 33-years old, just to put things into perspective. I was panicking now. Not because I was caught up in “image” and societal shaming of belly fat and love handles… but because I could not fit my 20-year old jeans, in a matter of 5 months.

Most importantly- it is you who must be O.K. with your size and weight, your image and your features. Your accents and all that make up the beautifulness that you behold. In my quest to lose weight and maintain a healthy lifestyle, it had nothing to do with anyone’s idea of my body or their opinions… but it has everything to do with how I wanted to see myself and what I want to look at when I look at myself in my own mirror. It has everything to do with what I find pleasing in my eyes when it comes to my very own body, and that is not a reflection of how I see anyone else who choose to be big, small, thick or thin. Hopefully when you go on your quest, you’ll do it for yourself as well, and not for anyone else.

But understand, my issue wasn’t with weight gain altogether. It was with “rapid weight gain.” My size is still good, considering my height and age…. but at this rate of weight gain, I could easily become the poster kid for many health-related conditions.

Many things contributed to my weight gain. Being home, and not being as active as I was before. I spent less time traveling and being away from the comfort of my bed. I was stressed over many issues surrounding the custody of my child, which kept me inside the house. I was running to the refrigerator every chance I got, for “something sweet to eat” just to pass time. I wasn’t shopping for healthy food any longer, as I did not have my child at home with me full time anymore.

After a visit to the doctor, I discovered I had issues with thyroid. I experienced a brief bout with pressure and a heart related concern, in which medication prescribed had a side effect of weight gain on top of that fact that I was also given a new medication for severe migraines and anxiety; which contributed to weight gain and my hormones were completely out of whack.

This is also why I would recommend that the first thing you do when you decide on any dieting and exercise regiment, to tackle weight gain or rapid weight gain, that you consult with your doctor first. You want to check your health by doing a temp check of the state of your body, so that you know if you’re fighting against something other than the fact that you can’t stop eating ice cream. It could be more. Address those issues, then you can find a diet that works best while addressing real underlying health concerns.

I had to think about it. All these things that I had come face to face with at 38-years old was new to me, coupled with the things I was voluntarily doing, which aided in weight gain. I realized that many of these issues I never faced before the age of 38, which is why I could eat the way I was eating. I lived a more active lifestyle then as well. If your lifestyle isn’t the same with regards to activities and health- you need to make a shift that tailors to the changes. You won’t be able to eat as much on less activity- or eat all day without exercising or watching calorie and fat intake.

So, where am I now? Well, I watch what I eat and I exercise daily. I stay away from scales. Scales are discouraging. I just look at myself until I like what I see. That may be at the same weight, but in more of a tone package. Same weight, with a healthier eating plan and a suitable workout plan that maintains health, weight and fitness goals. I have a note on my mirror that says, “Stand here until you like what you see” It’s like a Mantra of some sort, because it applies to anything related to esteem. When you look better, you feel better. When you feel better, you do better.

Lifestyle, Parenting, Uncategorized

What’s Cooking In your Kitchen- “April 24-28, 2017 Every Kid Healthy™ Week

“April 24-28, 2017 Every Kid Healthy™ Week is an annual observance created to celebrate school health and wellness achievements and recognized on the calendar of National Health Observances. Observed the last week of April each year, this special week shines a spotlight on the great efforts our school partners are making to improve the health and wellness of their students and the link between nutrition, physical activity, and learning – because healthy kids are better prepared to learn!” EveryKidHeathyWeek

What are you doing this week, in observance of the Fifth Annual Every Kid Healthy Week, to show your commitment toward wellness? It’s not too late to get involved and there are many ways to do so. But here’s one great idea to serve, that will go great on your silver platter!

How about hosting an event! I have found that hosting food testing’s/tastings at my local grocery store, are just one remarkable way to spread the word about eating healthy, by offering customers who patron the local stores, a sample of the foods available in-store; which they can easily transition to, by implementing it into their own nutritious plans and diets. It’s also a way for customers to become educated on delicious alternatives to breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snack time for their children.

“Anyone can get involved and be a part of the celebration to help support sound nutrition, regular physical activity, and health-promoting programs in schools. Schools are invited to host an event during Every Kid Healthy Week or any time in April” (www.everykidhealthy.org)

In the past, themes such as: “The Road to Eating Healthy”, has drawn regular and repeat customers as well as crowds patronizing surrounding stores, to partake in a free food tasting event. When they see the signs that lead them to …” The Road to Eating Healthy”, along with dietitians and nutritionist, trainers and fitness instructors on location, to talk about the benefits of healthy eating, the conversion is usually high.

Your set up may consist of starters at the front of the store, which could definitely be fruits such as: Apples, Bananas, Strawberries, Blueberries Mango’s and more. At the same time, offer the benefits of eating such fruit, so that the customer can make mental connections with what they know their body need, such as: Anti-oxidants, Iron, or Potassium etc.

Presentation Is Everything: Make sure your area is visible. You will do no good, to be tucked off in a corner where no one can see or hear you. Make sure you are in an area where there is high-traffic, or at least in the area that is appropriate for the items you are serving. It’s also good to incorporate other items from throughout the store that will work well with the food that you will be suggesting. Make sure your area is clean. NO ONE wants to eat from a dirty space or a display that appears to be picked over and played through. You must maintain this area as customers pass through, constantly refreshing your items and displays. Make sure you have customer friendly associates. There is nothing like having to deal with that associate who appears to have partied all night and did not want to be at work this morning… who could care less, about eating healthy and much less about talking to anyone about being healthy.

Designs attract the attention of children and families. Friendliness attracts Mothers! An in-store cake designer or fruit display agent can assist with this, and they are usually delighted to do so, because to gives them an opportunity to show off their creative and artistic side of being in the kitchen, where they can design an attractive display, using fruit.

I’d say, somewhere in the middle of the store, as the customers follow the signs that connect to the theme…. a vegetable stand has always stood out. It’s like a Farmer’s Market in the middle of a grocery store. Some stores have this build in, where others must be a little more creative in creating this space…but it can be done. Make sure you pair vegetables with dipping sauces that complement the theme and overall objective of heating healthy.

It is also nice to add the blending element in this area. For example: Give suggestions for mixing fruit and vegetables to make healthy smoothies. Offer samples of those smoothies. I don’t know about you, but I would have never in a million years tried a kale, lemon, kiwi, and strawberry smoothie, however, when I did a blind testing and determined it was to die for, I became hooked! Blind testing is self-explanatory. It’s when you allow the customer to take the sample and guess what’s in it. This is excellent to do in-store.

Aside from your fruits and vegetables, there are whole grains and low-fat dairy products that you can introduce to your customers and attendees, which would keep them on the Road to Eating Healthy, and will also go well with the theme throughout the store. Don’t forget to offer coupons for membership at a local gym or fitness center in the area, in addition to X amount of sessions with a trainer to lead a family Zumba, yoga, or other fitness class.

 

These are just a few ideas on how to make this week a successful one, in helping your community and surrounding area; including schools and businesses to get on the Road to Eating Healthy and Every Kid Healthy Week!

Charity, Lifestyle, Parenting, Relationships, Travel

Steal Base or Be Still? Survival Kit For Surviving the Meantime

Have you found yourself in a place where all seems to be standing still? You don’t know whether to turn around and run back to a ‘safe’ base, or to go left or right from this point, because there’s nothing in front of you (nothing you can see of course) (and nothing for your to see yet) We never think about remaining on third base, until it’s safe to run on home.

Rather than entertaining a view that suggest staying right where you are for now, you consider all the impossibilities. You look around and wonder why you stopped and where to go from here, and what to do… you began to experience the anxiety of how long it took you to get there, and how you want to move right now, this minute; and like sticking a pin into a balloon, you deflate all your work and all your progress, by telling yourself that you must have done something wrong. You start questioning your existence and your purpose, as well as the plan that GOD has for your life.

waiting 3Have you ever thought about standing still, until the water subsides, and the bridge reappears, where it is ok to continue straight? If you approach the area, where you cant see what’s in front of you, why is it so natural to turn around and go back, or to doubt that you are exactly where you need to be, practicing patience and discernment, nonetheless – but right in the place you are supposed to be.

You’re waiting and deliberating because you’ve been telling yourself that he didn’t bring you this far to leave you. However, that very affirmation is what’s being challenged at this point in your life. You know you’re blessed, and you’ve been on the receiving end of so much grace and favor that it’s only right to believe in yourself. So again, your challenge is which way from here, but the answer sometimes is … nowhere right now…

waiting on timeI don’t profess to be the most perfect and righteous, bible thumping Christian, hollering hallelujah, while sinning in the same breath. However, I do accept Jesus Christ as my personal lord and savior. And because I know that, I know I have been saved. I walk closely with him in my day-to-day, enduring measures that determine obedience and faith; because I’m surviving in the meantime, through progress and patience. Standing still and being calm are acceptable methods to implement calls for action in life; especially in the meantime.

As Seen on SheSavvy.com

But for those who are like myself, who like a good solid plan for camping, fishing, hiking, …and on yeah, …believing. I’ve created a starter kit/survival kit, for what to do and what you will need, in the meantime…

friendsFriends: You’ll need a good set of friends. A set is as little as two and that can be someone you just met or have known forever. Surround yourself with positive, like-minded and non-toxic people. You do not want the company that you are keeping to be Debbie Downers and Pessimistic Paul’s. You need someone wants you to win and someone who will motivate and inspire you on your journey.

familyFamily: Mend things with family, so that you can have a stronger support system. This does not mean opening up old wounds, for the sake of doing more damage. Use discretion. Because if it’s something that hasn’t healed properly, it could have become infected over time; which means they are not the family that you want around, because we do not want to contract anything from their infection. I said in a previous post that, if someone seeks closure, allow him or her to get it- but do not allow it to hold you back from that point forward. Unresolved issues of the past could become Reasons for not moving forward. When you haven’t run the course and unlocked the next door in your life it could be the case of why you can’t progress forward, from where you are. Let down walls for the right people and challenge them, as you are, to move forward in life, so that they can be a better person – worth being around, while you are standing in faith.

groups 1Groups– It can be a bad thing, to be alone in your head. When you isolate yourself from friends and family, you are a target for the enemy. In the meantime, you want to stay connected. Minus the time that you are actually disconnected for the sake of meditating and forming a better relationship with the god you serve. Stay Connected with like-minded people through groups. That includes, but is not limited to community service, activism and awareness campaigns, volunteerism, humanitarianism, philanthropy, divorce groups and singles ministry; which can have a greater impact on your life. You’d be surprised how the time will pass; when you do something that allows you to help others and take your mind off of the inevitable fact that you are standing still for a reason and a purpose, which is much greater than you.

hobby

Hobbies– Talents can be nourished through fostering a plan to work on yourself, through a hobby that incorporates that talent. It’s therapeutic and it eliminates stress, because it’s doing something that you absolutely love to do. You can find yourself, ten times over; by engaging in things you love, as well as doing them with family, friends and groups that enjoy it as well. You would find yourself being and feeling more productive in this meantime. A hobby created through a talent, or a talent comprised of a Hobby is a way of sowing seeds. It allows you to also eliminate the idleness in your life, which was known for entertaining mind trash.

We look at the choice to go back, as the only choice available sometimes. And that shouldn’t be the case. We spend so much time on the impossibilities that situations like these, propose. We try to figure out, what to do next. We came this far by faith, but we don’t trust in the same faith that got us here, to take us beyond this point? You have to trust that the batter up is going to bring not only you, but also everyone on your team, home. You don’t have to steal bases. You just have to be still.

Lifestyle, Parenting, Relationships, Uncategorized

That’s Just My Baby Momma

I would have never understood the things that men go through, with a “baby momma” and “baby momma drama” had I not experienced it first hand, with a male baby momma. Yes, Tupac said it first: Niggas can be Bitches too.

Witnessing for myself first hand, how a man can be as bitter as the infamous baby momma, when it comes to baby momma drama; has given me new perspective on the topic. I can see clearly now, how a man could ultimately arrive at a forced decision to stay away from their child for periods of time. They realize that the other parent will stop at nothing with their games. She makes it extremely hard for the father to be in his child life, and not to mention the things she will do, to make sure that he will suffer more at her hands, if he chooses to be in the child’s life. I have seen this happen myself. The lies they tell are amazing and too much for a normal person to keep up with. It’s exhausting, so those parents reach a point where they simply wait until the child is old enough to understand what is going on.

Some parents have truly come to this decision, only as result of the consequences that they face, when dealing with the other parent. Such as: being accused for things that they did not do, being denied visitation, being denied communication with the child, being denied health and education information, regarding the child. They are excluded from knowing anything about the child and are left off emergency contact lists as well as not added, as a parent who can seek information from the school that the child attends, without the other parents consent. To add insult to injury, they are accused for not caring about the child, and not talking care of the child or having a vested interest in the overall well being of the child; when this has never been the case.

I can now see why the scenario could play out as the truth. When you are not around to hear these things being said, and not able to call that parent to the rug on their shit, you are hung out to dry in a tainted perception and manipulated opinions. The other parent can sabotage you very easily. No one knows what’s going on behind the stage or off the record. People don’t know that, the parent who is perceived to be the deadbeat, does not have access to the child. They don’t know what the proclaimed, deadbeat parent is really doing to have the connection and bond with their child. No one realizes that one parent is putting on an Oscar performance, of pulling strings, at the best ever stage performance of Puppets. They are superior at poking the bear in private, and then stepping back to show their audience, the reaction of the bear. The audience gets to see a “re-action” only, while never seeing the “action” which caused the bear to howl.

The real issue is that one parent, simply does not want to be with the other and because of that, the parent will use children as bait, collateral and leverage- almost like a ransom in a hostage situation. I know some people are saying, there’s no way, no matter what, I would not see my child. However, those same people are not in the same situation. I know that the one thing that is absolute fact is that you don’t know what you would do, unless it was you. So if it has been you, right down to the nature of the circumstance, be honest with yourself about the fact that you absolutely, positively don’t know what you would do.

From where I’m standing, it has nothing to do with their lack of loving a child or being responsible for the child. It has nothing to do with selfishness and neglect, which encompasses all the things, that I used to think about men who tell me that they haven’t seen their child a month of Sunday’s. Once upon a time, I was that girl who told men, that there was no reason at all, to be away or stay away from their child- and I didn’t want to hear anything they had to say about it.

Do I find this new perspective refreshing? No. Not at all. Disgusting? uuuum… maybe a little harsh, but it’s not an overstatement. In keeping with a self provided example, in order to speak from my own experience- I restrict myself from disclosing my full opinion; due to the “reasonable person” concluding that this song is about them or someone they know.

But I digress to say, I apologize to any man, that I spoke ill of, when it came to them being in or out of their child’s life. I am certain that if they are not, it’s because your baby momma, just like my baby momma, makes it very difficult. I realize that you have probably done everything that you can, but you are not here for the games. I truly understand what it feels like to have a “BABY MOMMA”

As seen on CafeMom.com

Lifestyle, Parenting, Relationships, Travel

Raise Your Glass with Class. Here’s to Getting What You Deserve in Life.

Love, Joy, Happiness, Tranquility and Balance are all uniquely designed and tailored by definition, to the person who chooses to live a life consisting of substance. They all have one thing in common. That is to wake up and go to sleep at peace. Peace of mind is the single most important ingredient that’s required, for the formula in life to be effective. When and if it’s achievable, within wingspan, within reach and at your fingertips, you should grasp it and hold on to it. You may not have another chance to secure it so easily, if you allow it to slip away.

I’ve pondered over the things that make me happy in life, things that bring joy as well as the things that make me sad on occasion. I reflect on good times and bad times, which come into focus through memories of yesterday, and anticipations of tomorrow. I have had many nights when I weigh the good against the bad and I count all my blessings. I search for ways to make a difference in the world, and I look to things, feats, people and avenues, that would not only enhance my experiences in life, but would provide a priceless return on the investment of my time. I stay close to people who want to see me win and do not have ulterior motives behind acts of kindness and concern about my future. I reciprocate the sincerity of their actions. I’ve learned many lessons in life and humble pie always adorns my mental kitchen. I have learned that once you figure out what provides peace in your life, it will also bring you joy, love, happiness, tranquility and balance.

The topic of Peace comes up every time we entertain a life worth living, where we can have and do all the things we want and want to do, respectively. It is the common denominator to all things happy and all things worth working for and waiting for. Peace takes on form, in what we find suitable for our existence and growth, to be profound, mellow, meek or even mild. Once the destination is reached, it then manifests itself into a lifestyle. You will realize that peace is a critical component, as you also began to understand that you could have peace in your life, if you take on the lifestyle that will provide it.

In doing so, you may have to walk away from some things. If you have already found yourself in a peaceful state of mind, you know what I am talking about. If you haven’t found yourself at peace, listen to what I am saying. You may have to walk away from some things that you truly love with all your heart. But you HAVE TO TRUST THE PROCESS! You may have to uproot some things, relocate and alter the route you’ve been taking, or change the destination altogether.

You will have to come to that inherent point of closure that I spoke of earlier. If you want to achieve peace and go higher, you may have to let go of some things, leave the luggage/baggage/obstacles and hindrances behind. You may have to turn the chapter, close the book and return it to the library. You may have to give up some things. You may have to close some accounts, stop making deposits, stop payment on the payments, return the checks, give up the store credit, stop making withdrawals and pull the plug on the entire operation, which has caused you to remain in an un-peaceful state.

Now, you are able to move some things around in your life, in matter of importance, in matter of serenity, in matter of courage and in matter of wisdom. You have to step back and look at the whole entire picture, instead of pixel by pixel. The image and the photo of what you want will always be there and once you step back, you will see it. Trust the process.

As seen on SheSaavvyNetwork

Lifestyle, Parenting, Relationships

Closure is the blueprint for building an empire of happiness.

How will you ever find happiness in your future, if your present is so consumed with your past?

It’s a fair question that deserves ample thought and respectful conversation. Reflecting, analyzing and meditating, can be considered as the preliminary things to do, in order to move beyond the pastime of thoughts that exist in your present life, for the sake of finding the closure that you seek and require; in order to cultivate happiness in your life. What is closure to you? Closure allows something to be mentally filed and stored correctly, but also to be chalked up to an event of the past, that will not affect your future.

For me, closure doesn’t speak in just one language. It’s a multi-lingual voice that translates into comfort through actions, by which you consider acceptable, in resolving something in your personal life. It comes in many different forms, depending on who you are, what you need and what you want. Closure is not accomplished through accepting a suggestion that doesn’t work for you. It has to be in a way that speaks directly to your own heart, mind, body and soul.

The closure that you desire and seek doesn’t have to be understood by the masses. Chances are, it probably won’t be understood by the masses. That is because journey is not theirs, and the testimony belongs to you and only you. The dilemma itself, which brought on the need for closure in your life, probably isn’t/wasn’t understood by the masses either. Your job is to cultivate happiness in your life. And by that alone, you can use a selfish approach, that will position you in the highest place to better serve the GOD that you trust.

If I had to direct someone who has allowed relationships and friendships of their past to violate their present and provoke a future filled with unhappiness, I would simply say that moving into a place where they will cultivate happiness, is how to do it. However, I personally realize that closure doesn’t come in the midst of encountering the same thorn on a daily. It usually comes in the end, revealing itself through a mind, body and soul, form of a mutually agreed upon and whole-heartedly, acceptable arrangement with yourself, to either cope or move beyond the thorns.

IE: If you are a man who has taken on issues with moving on in life, where that hurt is negatively displayed in malicious attacks that you execute daily, due to a break up left you in a place of hate, in which you are now stuck, and in a place where you began to live your life through a series of jealous, resentful and spiteful attacks on the lady that left you; you should seek to find closure for yourself and understand that it will not come by creating a firestorm in another persons life. Your happiness is not true or authentic when you do this, because it will never come at the expense of making someone else unhappy. Your life is literally in a vegetable state of existence when this happens. You will always be on life support and the moment that the plug is pulled… meaning when you cannot hurt or attack the one thing that kept your actions on life support, you will flatline inside

Release her. Let her go – Find closure and Move on, for once and for all. So that you too, can find the happiness that you truly want.

If someone has been holding you back, because they never got the closure they needed in a break up, or a job that fired them, or a relationship they wanted with parents, years ago; try to understand their need for closure. Give them the opportunity they need, to have that closure. Then, carry on. There’s no need to stand around forever after you’ve extended to them, an opportunity to have it.

It is perfectly ok to want to position yourself to go higher in life. It is perfectly ok to increase your happiness through quality of life. It is OK to be happy. Some people are consumed with entertaining mind-trash, in which they loose themselves in conversations that they have with themselves. They worry about what people will think. They worry about the next person, finding out that they have been doing something, that makes them happy. They worry about judgment from family and close friends knowing what they have been up to. They worry about family finding out the truth or finding out that they aren’t in private, the same person as they are in public. They worry about people finding out the reasons that they are not happy. They worry about what people will say.

It is ok to choose happiness. It is ok to surround yourself with happy people. It is ok to smile. It is ok to laugh and love. It is ok to move beyond the things that caused you to be upset and angry. It is ok to let go of the past. Closure is the blueprint for building an empire of happiness.

As seen on Cafemom.com  and SheSavvyNetwork