Dear Readers, Lets Get This Basic Stuff Out Of The Way

I do solemnly swear to bring you content from the most interesting and not so interesting parts of my world, that everyone and no one at the same time, would possibly want to hear all about, to include: Past, Present and Future hopefuls, as well as those that didn’t make it on a brain numbing reality show and stories which wouldn’t possibly make it to a theater near you, anytime soon; due to extreme language and content that has placed it on a (what to do with this) list, until a rating can be created for approval of its release.

I will also do my best to see to it that the sentence that precedes this one, is the last run on sentence that you will ever read again. If I fail, charge it to my head and not my heart. No, actually charge it to the University that I graduated from. It wouldn’t be the first time they billed me for an education that has yet to equal the pay I made in Corporate America.

It is my humble desire and number one goal to make you happy, smile, laugh, cry, relate, and never be offended. Should you find something offensive, read it again, until you realize that I am not smart enough to offend anyone and that there’s a strong possibility that you over analyzed it and read it all wrong. If you are still offended, then please accept my deepest condolence in advance, for your dead heart. I mean, my deepest and most sincere apologies, for it is never my intent to make you think outside the box. Should I find myself in a position where I cannot share anything exciting, I will make it a point to mess up along the way, just so that I can show you that I am perfectly imperfect and extremely apologetic for being so. I’ve found that to be an excellent crutch and makes a great fall back plan in life. In fact, I am writing a course right now, titled: 101 ways to completely overrate your failures, so that sympathy will get you a good grade.

This is my first time on the Mommy-Merry-Go-Round, so I will depend on all of you to pick me up after the swift turns have thrown me from the ride, discombobulated and confused me. But only after you’ve had a good laugh about me being oblivious about “what just happened”. The contingency here is, so long as you assist me back to life, you have the right to laugh out loud.

Every day is a tryout. In my world, the ten-step program is learning to count down to one, after my child has asked me, why? more than 10 times in 20 minutes. I have this thing called MB, Mommy Brain – was diagnosed with it on December 24th, 2010 and I have had it for 6.5 years. Well, 6 years 5 months and 12 days and I was told that its malignant, invasive and uncontrollable, but that I will live – and I will live with it for the rest of my life. When I use big words out of context, it’s because I have been entertaining a kid who seems to be smarter than me, and it’s just my desperate attempt at assuring and affirming to myself, that I am still intelligent.

It is my intent to balance the universe, by showing you who the real wonder women are in the world and what our costumes look like, even if it does include an apron with words “All I Need Is Wine, stitched across the front.

You are going to see days where I walk in a pretty high stiletto, because I can’t find the other one, and other days, I will be seen in sandals or flip flops. There will be days where I simply don’t feel like wearing any shoes at all. I have flaws, but all of them are flawless. My little dirty secret is that I own a large Beauty Queen Crown.(A real one) I purchased it for myself when I turned 39 last year, to remind me that I am Queen. At least in my castle. I can’t say that too loud because I don’t want the beehive after me.

I will do my best to lead you blindly, under my classic old maid frames, which are in dire need of replacing. I hope to connect with like-minded people who also mess up this thing called life, on a daily- just so that I can be reminded of how extraordinarily normal, I am.

Should you agree that I live a very boring life, I invite you to call me so that you can tell me all about yours. If you follow, I follow back. If you lead, I will follow. If you follow, I will turn around and ask you, where are we going?

Disclaimer: I realize that there are commas in the above manifesto, in places it shouldn’t me. I realize that it was random and all over the place. I realize that some people never made it to this disclaimer.


3 things that are sure to get the fire back into your valentine on Valentine’s Day

A girl’s favorite time of the year is upon us. Well, next to Mothers Day. There’s always still a reason to celebrate Mothers Day, but for now, I’m talking about Valentines Day. We are less than a week away from the day that celebrates the love that people have for their significant other, spouse, mate, partner, kids, and other special people in their life. However, for couples, it’s where cupid plays a part. It’s the day when Cupid bares himself, “pulls back his bow and let’s his arrow go, straight to, your lovers heart”

Have you even thought about the hints that you need to drop, in order to bring him close to an idea of what you’d like to have? How about dropping a catalog on the kitchen counter, or the drivers seat of his car, or maybe even on his office desk at home or with his secretary at work. It’s just an idea of course. There are so many catalogue and online stores that are at your fingertips, where you can find some really nice items, such as: Jewelry, Home –Décor, Wine, Chocolate, Flowers and creative arrangements with an assortment of ideas, which incorporate money, into bouquets, chocolate into bouquets and even fruit.

Should you choose any of those items that will need to be ordered and delivered, keep in mind the time from now and then, that you have to do so. This is a florist’s busiest time of the year and it’s also the time that local grocery stores are talking orders for you to just pick up on Valentine’s Day. Here are three other ideas to add onto your order.

3 things that are sure to get the fire back into your valentine on Valentine’s Day

  1. Staycation: Staycations are so under-rated, when they really are the best things that can happen to a couple. They are a local means to a getaway, which means you are still in town should there be an emergency that you really can’t be excused from. They are the less expensive alternative to traveling to a destination. You save on the flight and transportation that you would have otherwise used if you traveled to another state or out of the country. They provide the rest and leisure that you need to get back to. They are quaint and intimate. They provide an opportunity to have some Me-Time and Us-Time, re-establishing the bond with your mate, through communication and intimacy. It’s a chance to be alone with your spouse/mate away from the office, the kids, the constant noise of having a family and you really get to let down your hair and forget that you’re only 20 minutes away from the house. It’s your all in one, access to a private place with a change of scenery.
  1. Couples massage: This is something that can be arranged while on the staycation. Many of the resort styles hotels feature an amenity deck, or space that concentrates on the needs of their guest, such as: restaurants, bars, a cafeteria, a pool, a sauna, a business center, a gift stop, nail shop… and most importantly, a Spa. Schedule a private couples massage with you and your valentines, as a reward. Show how much they are appreciated. When you are in a relaxed state of mind, you think a lot clearer and you’re overall health improves. It’s sexy, it’s romantic, it’s thoughtful, and it’s peaceful and tranquil. It’s a moment to relax your partner, in preparation for the evening ahead.
  1. Date night on the staycation: Go on a date while you’re on your staycation with your mate. As easy as it is to stay in the room for the entire night or day, whichever and for however long you’ve decided to stay, it’s much more worth it to enjoy the other amenities that are at the hotel. It’s really nice to dress up in the little red dress and take on the town without a care in the world for just a moment. Go out for dinner or ice cream. Catch a movie, walk in the park, stroll along the beach. You may decide on dinner at the hotel, where you choose to order-in, and stay in and indulge in, In-Room dining. However, those hotel in-room dinning costs add up fast. It’s just something to think about. Going out, may make it a lot more cost-efficient. Plus, if you take her out of the room, you leave time for that wonderful assortment of fruit and chocolate to be delivered to the room. She will walk in and thank you for it later.

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