Lifestyle, Parenting

HEY SUNBUTTER! He Likes It

HEY SUNBUTTER! He Likes It!

It would be awfully selfish of me if I didn’t share this tidbit of information with Mom Bloggers Club. As much as I would like to be the keeper of this secret, I just can’t. It’s totally worth sharing, and you can thank me later. Unless of course, it was something that everyone else already knew about. Lol! I found something else that my son gave his stamp of approval on, and so, I proudly gave it my Mom Approved stamp of approval as well, after trying it for myself. SunButter came into our lives last week, while setting up for a Moms Group, to try out the product and see what we all had to say. I wasn’t 5 minutes in, before my own son had cracked open the On The Go sized, SunButter Single cups.

It was a hilarious moment, because as I was trying to video the real, raw reactions and thoughts of the moms that attended, my son can be heard, butting in, to say: It’s good! I’m eating it all up! There couldn’t have been a more natural and unrehearsed moment, as he continued to dig into the cup with his saltine cracker. Take One, Final cut- My work was done! He dismisses us, to ask “Can I have another cracker?”

Where do you go from there? Does it get any better? I found a snack, on my hunt for some back to school goodies, and I got one that he took to, off the bat. #Winning I know that moms everywhere can absolutely agree, that this is a monumental moment, when you have a picky eater; one who is hard to please sometimes, who judges food by the smell, the texture, the look, the everything else that frustrates you while you’re saying, “Just Eat The Cake Anna Mae!” All the while, wondering if your child is malnourished, because he won’t eat anything on his plate.

He’s an active 6- year old boy, who’s always running, jumping, flipping, bouncing around off walls, beds, sofas etc. He’s a playful ball of energy who thinks that sleep is the enemy. To get him to sit down is one thing. To get him to sit still is another thing. While getting him to eat, is not impossible, it has been a challenge.

However, on that one-day last week, and every day up until the SunButter On The Go Single cups were all gone, I accomplished a moment of silence. That’s the big secret I had to share. Thank GOODNESS, we had more!

This has made it onto our list of top 5 things to add to your child’s lunch box, while considering that its Back to School time. It also makes a perfect on the go snack for adults! Check out these awesome recipes for incorporating Sun Butter into y…

SunButter Curry Meatballs

Here are a few fun facts: 7g Protein, USA Grown and Made, More Vitamins and Minerals than NutButter, Top 8 Allergen Free, Non GMO.  SunButter Sunflower Butter comes in 5 choices:

Natural -most popular variety – with 7 grams of protein per serving!

Creamy- Creamy, delicious and easy to spread – perfect for snacking

Natural Crunch- Delicious roasted sunflower seed flavor with a crunch you’ll love

No Sugar Added-Simply roasted sunflower seeds and a hint of salt for flavor.

Organic-SunButter Organic is made without added sugar, salt or hydrogenated oil.

SunButter On The Go Creamy Singles -Six convenient 1.5 oz. cups of Creamy SunButter with 9 grams of protein per serving!

Originally posted on Mom Bloggers Club, Here

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Lifestyle, Uncategorized

Here’s why I don’t always post in real time, and a must read, as to why you should think about it

Simply put, I don’t always post to social sites, using real-time images or information. Because, I don’t want to and I don’t like to. This is because I have had the unfortunate pleasure, of being cyber-stalked and harassed beyond belief; in which it carried over into my life, causing an array of problems.

Consequently, I had to abruptly come to the realization, that there are people in the world, who are trolling your social media sites, just to find out where you are and what you are doing, at that very moment. What’s so terribly wrong with that? Especially when that is your line of work. Well, nothing. Except one very important thing. Their intent is not always pure. They are not always there as a sincere and genuine fan of your work, supporter of your work, or someone who wants to “follow” you. It’s to “collect information” a lot of times, and the motives behind doing so, are ill-willed.

Once I realized this, I used it to my advantage. Beginning a few years ago, I decided to give those roaches the run of their life, leading them on a roller coaster of “Where the eff is she really at today.” If I could have just seen their faces, when I’d broadcast 3-4 different events that I would be attending, all of which began at the same time; only for me to never appear at either, but rather, end up somewhere else, altogether. Then I shared it on social media the following day!

It worked in my favor, because I quickly realized that when I did not post anything about what I was about to do, my stalker had no time to strategically and maliciously make phone calls ahead of time, to those establishments, organizations, businesses or companies; for which I was working press or organizing an event. Whereas, prior to me becoming aware of what they had been doing, they were combing my social media daily, to find out where I would be, and what event I had planned. They would make phone calls and in a few cases, send emails to organizers, in an attempt to sabotage my work. They would feed them garbage, to slander my name and assasnate my character.

Fortunately for me, I had a few real ones, who notified me of what was happening. I was perplexed, as to why someone would stoop so low; both being highly educated professionals, with higher degrees of education and licenses for the work they did. One of which was an attorney, Houston based- who was extremely obsessed with everything I did from day to day. He made his life and career at that moment, about what I was doing, daily.

He and his accomplice went so far as to have me “fired” from Examiner.com and Modern Mom Blog, which I wrote for in 2013; by stating that I was a criminal. Did they do any research to find out the truth? Unfortunately, no they didn’t. However, many months later, the truth was revealed to me through an insider. A lot of companies, and in this case, a blog site, will take the word of someone they feel is a “credible source” such as an attorney. GO FIGURE. Arguably, the biggest liars known to man, is somehow seen as credible. But the truth is, when you throw around legal jargon with lay people, making threats to sue them or put them out of business, unless they fire one of their writers for talking about things that are happening, in their personal life ….it works. At least in those two cases it did. You don’t do a criminal background check to write for these blog sites, so how weird would it be for them to suddenly and randomly ask for one, without a reason, right? (which I would have gladly given if asked and informed) So, the easiest thing to do, is for them to just wash their hand and back out of an affiliation with you, when something like this occurs. Especially in the case of Modern Mom, where you have a well-known celebrity, as the owner.

IMG_1637When I began to write for other platforms, I took the smart approach. I decided to get in front of the problem. I went directly to the editors from that point. I informed them as to what was going on, and prepared them for what to expect. I also began to speak-out about it in my blogs. I disclosed to editors and owners, how I was being stalked, harassed, and sabotaged. I detailed exactly what was happening and why, once I realized who was at the core of it. I related that these two obsessed beings, were so enthralled in destroying me, that they were making calls, sending falsified letters, erroneous documents via mail and email to companies etc., using scare tactics to get me fired and to discredit my work.

Two platforms agreed to allow me to show them, with creating false campaigns, just to sit back and wait for the villains to make their move. It worked like a charm. One after the next, we were knocking them down and laughing in the writer’s room. Their efforts were relentless. However, after one last attempt at another site I was writing for (a site I shall not name) they ceased fire. Obviously, the editor did speak about it in a not so tell-all, kind of way, taking a diplomatic approach, I was able to figure out what the conversation was all about. I am happy to still be a writer on their platform today.

Here’s what I want you to take from this: This may be a story about how two extremely boring individuals, equally yoked in bitterness, malice and sadness, who had nothing else better to do, tried to destroy me and perhaps still are. But it can happen to anyone. Perhaps not to this extreme, but I will say that I didn’t think it would be this extreme either in the beginning. So, you just don’t know. I had to think about the fact that I have a small child, and at any moment, he could be with me on any one of my escapades, having an enjoyable time and we could have been ambushed. When people go the lengths that these two individuals went, you can’t trust their next move. It’s also a testament to the fact that, not only street thugs, gangsters and low-life people pull this kind of stuff. In fact, they don’t usually have the means or resources. It takes skill to do what these two individuals did. It took someone knowledgeable enough about the law, the script to use when scaring off these companies and causing them to raise a brow at me.

Fortunately, I found a way to make it work for me early-on. But unfortunately, it took a couple of lost assignments and platforms before it happened. In hindsight, I harbor no feeling of hostility toward those companies, as I know they were in between a rock and a hard place at the time, in trying to maintain confidentiality with their “credible source” and myself. In the case of blogging, we were not bound to any agreement. And that’s just the way the cookie crumbles sometimes.

Everyone doesn’t have good intentions, and I consider myself to be very astute to that fact now. Especially, since I have learned of so many others, of which this has also happened to. I’m consciously aware that all people are not good people, so in my line of work and in my day to day, I have found a means to deal with it. I continue to mix it up every now and then, just so that I can keep them guessing, while I keep on moving!

#IamNotReallyHereAtThisMoment #IWasHereInAugust #ThisIsAnOldPic #ImPostingThisSoThatNoOneWillBeAbleToStalkMe #INeverWentToBeverlyHillsHotel #IDidNotEatPizzaLastNight #WheresNiedria #IBetYouAreWonderingWhereIam #IRefuseToLiveInFear

Article was originally published on CafeMom, at Here’s why I don’t always post in real time, and a must read, as to why you should think about it

Lifestyle, Parenting, Relationships

RAISING AN HONEST CHILD

I venture to say, you need to first be an honest parent, before you can truly raise an honest kid. If you do not practice a system of truth, where honesty is rewarded and lies are neither condoned nor rewarded; in and out of the home, where your child living, it may be the reason he/she entertains fabricated stories and habitual lies.

Children do most of which they learn, and are taught; whether taught indirectly or directly. They are a sponge. Not to sound cliché, but they soak in all of the things that is in their surrounding. That includes the things that you say, the things that you do, your attitude toward things, how you act and how you generally handle things. As they grow older, they adopt these measures of behavior, as ways of their own. Some may learn early in life what they need to stop doing. Whereas, others who are subjected to it longer or more consistently, they began to inadvertently implement it into their core character.

I believe in both cases, children keep what they need or want out of the ordeal, when they feel that it produces positive results for them. Such as, learning to lie about certain things and associating the lie with reward. They can tell a lie about a certain thing and be treated a lot differently than from telling the truth. So they begin to think that it is ok to tell a lie. They begin to see a benefit in telling a lie over the truth. They are not taught about an honest policy and the only example they have is broken system of morals to learn from.

For example:

A child is truthful about something he/she did in school, which reflected in poor behavior and resulted in a punishment, by which he was reprimanded for what he did at school. He begins to believe it’s because he told the truth. He does not want to get in trouble, and so he thinks that maybe he shouldn’t have told the truth. Not so much, meaning that the act of truth – telling is why he’s punished, but because of what the truth was, and the guilty plea.

Next time: A child lies about something he/she does at school. He/She is asked about it, and responds with a lie. Nothing happens, because the lie he told exonerates him from punishment. If the adult finds out that it was a lie/or maybe knew all along that it was a lie, the child is not reprimanded in any way.

The lie is accepted by the adult in the situation, and even when the truth comes out, there is nothing to clearly define for the child, what the benefit would be in telling the truth next time. He/she has not experimented and found that the lie will save his bottom.

The children of the world are not shown where the rewards are higher for telling the truth, because if they told the truth, they received a harsh punishment.

Telling the truth shouldn’t excuse bad behavior and by no means, am I suggesting that it should. But what it does is help you raise an honest child. You decide the punishments, but beware of what you are teaching when he/she is trying to tell you the truth about something.

Children also watch their parents and closest people to them, and study how they act in situations of truth vs. lies and how that will play out. Some kids are even encouraged to lie when they have bickering parents, who more than often permits a child to lie about something they don’t want the other parent to find out about. This is the biggest no-no in the game of raising honest children, in that you are “giving permission” to your child to lie and teaching them that its ok to do so, when you do this. Even when you tell them it’s a “little white lie” and it’s ok or when you lead them to believe that he/she can only lie about this certain thing.

Children are not processing all the logic you may have behind the lie. All they hear and walk away from the situation learning, is that it may not be ok to lie all the time, but it’s ok if you do. How is that not confusing? “Don’t tell mommy this” or “don’t tell daddy that”, or “If mommy ask this- tell her xyz”…All those things are absorbed by that child. “Don’t tell mom what you did over the summer,” is lying by teaching your child to omit things. “Don’t tell the whole truth about this”…is also teaching your child to lie by omission. “If mommy asks if you missed school today, tell her no, even though you did”… is another LIE!

A child will sometimes ask why? Especially as he/she grows older and began to understand that he/she is being told to lie. They don’t have to know the details behind the adult lies, but they will ask why, until it starts to make sense. Which most of the time it won’t. Because nothing will help a growing child understand that it is ok to lie to their parents, except another lie. Such as: “If you tell mommy you did xyz, you will get in trouble.” At this point, you are pumping fear into a child, which will manifest into a motive and soon, a reason for him to continue to keep your lies.

It’s just a subject that we need to be careful with as parents, because we’re all guilty of telling at least one “little white lie” in life. And while the example above is more on the extreme side, there are actually some people out there who have done it and even more who can tell you all about their experience with parents who still do it. We have all told our kids that they don’t have to tell the truth about certain things and probably never thought about how we are teaching them to do something that in general, they should not do.

I would never ask my child to lie for me or to be dishonest about something where we are concerned. I teach him about the importance of telling the truth and I make sure I reward him or show him the benefits in telling the truth. When he does tell me a lie, as he’s a 6-years old, growing and still learning, as well as doing a temperature check on what he can get away with; I have the conversation with him that he has to always tell me the truth. I always give him the second chance to tell me, in the same breath, by reminding him that telling me the truth means that I will be better educated/informed about what is going on and will have a more accurate understanding of what I need to do to help him. When my child knows that its all about the “TEAM,” through me reminding him that he can’t lie to the captain, he’s assured that his best bet is to tell the truth.

As Seen on CafeMom.com

Charity, Lifestyle, Parenting, Relationships

Why The Wedding of a Lifetime, should not become the expense of a lifetime

There are many advantages that come along with being married that probably aren’t considered above simply having the blessing and pleasure of loving someone and being loved by that special someone, until and beyond death. That is obviously the most important reason and I wouldn’t disagree with it at all, as it is definitely good to be loved by someone you love. But once you finally have that, you also begin to see just how beneficial it was to your finances, your social life, and your life period; to merge as one. Together, being responsible for the house-whole receivables and payables.

Which brings me to the point, or non-point, of an expensive and extravagant wedding. This is not to encourage a man to propose with a cracker-jack box ring and have a shot-gun wedding, it’s only to bring into focus the cost that should be taken seriously. I don’t care what Betty White said, when she sang the lyrics to No Pain-No Gain, “A little bit of pleasure is worth a whole lot of pain.” No, it’s not.

I have chatted with quite a few people about their wedding plans, with regard to location, photos, videographer, the dress, entertainment, Invitations, gifts for the wedding party, mother/father of the Bride and Groom, Rehearsal Dinner, the cake, the rings, how many will be in the wedding party, the flowers, the rings, the reception and so forth. I wanted to get general idea of where their head was, when it came to the topic of the wedding, and plans on making the decision to either spend an astronomical amount or to make it a quickie. Both men and women, married and single, as well as those couples that I spoke with; collectively agreed that the expense of the wedding should not plague them in the years to come. Seems like a no-brainer.

However, I chimed in with some of my celebrity friends aka a small, elite group of the few; who argued that since it was something they would only do once, they wanted to go all out, with the kit and caboodle. That few, described the wedding of epic proportions, either had or to be had. In their description, they expressed the desire to have a destination wedding, in which family would be flown in to celebrate along with them. One couple said they did a destination wedding, where those who attended, were responsible for their flight, but once there, it was all expense paid. The price tag of their wedding came in at a hefty total of 45k.

Now, while it can certainly be done at a more inexpensive rate, depending on the arrangements and the accommodations provided that are being paid for; I did not hear anyone speak of that. It seems as though, when considering a destination, where all would be able to attend – it was no way to split the bill. And I do mean that literally. I must mention that the elite few, also agreed that if they were not as fortunate financially to throw away dollars, north of 30k, they would not do it.

Which is what brought me back to those who still insisted on elaborate weddings that would hunt them at the bank for the next year or so. Of the 15 couples I spoke to, only three couples are still married 20 years later. Whereas, the others split 5-10 years in and ended up splitting the financial responsibility in the end to resolve the divorce decree. Six of which have remarried, took a substantial turn in making plans on their second time around. The remaining individuals, who have yet to remarry, said that if they were to consider the cost of a new wedding – it would be with a different approach.

In speaking to all of the couples, men, women, and singles… it was determined, at least with this group study that finances always have been and still are the greatest discussion, compromise and reason for marriages that do not make it. For them, the biggest expense came in at the cost of the wedding, followed by the kids and the cost of their home. With the wedding debt being larger than the combined debt of personal debt that each individual brought to the marriage- all agreed that The Wedding of a Lifetime, should absolutely NOT be the bill of a lifetime. And if they had a chance to do it again, they would do it differently.

This brought up the topic of living above or below means. This is something that everyone should consider and give much account to. While it’s nice to dream of that fairy tale wedding, it could come with an enormous price tag. The cost of a wedding should not exceed your means to pay for it. It should not be a monthly bill going forward into your marriage (at least not after 6 -12 months.) The couples that gave attention to this matter from the beginning remained together after 20 years. We think that is because from the beginning, they were on the same page with regard to financial responsibility. In trying to pass down some pearls of wisdom, I believe it was my dad who said, “I once met a man who said he paid an arm and a leg for his wedding. After which, he had no way to hold his wife – because he didn’t have a leg to stand on.” -) Pass it on.

Posted on http://www.workingmother.com 1/21/17

Why The Wedding of a Lifetime | Working Mother Wedding of a lifetime @_workingmother_

Lifestyle, Parenting, Relationships

4 Toxic things we hope you left in 2016 and what you should remember to do going forward.

We must first define and examine the word TOXIC, in order to understand the meaning. Then we can determine where these toxic things could possibly be living and occupying space in our life and how they are affecting us as a group, a team or as individuals.

TOXIC:

  1. Of, pertaining to, affected with, or caused by a toxin or poison:

A toxic condition.

  1. Acting as or having the effect of a poison; poisonous:

A toxic drug.

  1. Causing unpleasant feelings; harmful or malicious:

A toxic boyfriend; toxic criticism.

Any time toxicity exist amongst a group, whatever the relationship; couples, marriages, friendships, workplace or even in our church, it will air avenues for the operation as a whole, to become severely damaged or even destroyed and at the very least, stagnant and unproductive.

Once we identify with those things and the areas where we are affected, we need to employ methods into our daily life, that will inspire us to motivate and encourage each other to become better people; so that we can transcend into a more meaningful, happy, balanced and enlightening state of mind and live a more healthy life.

  1. Animosity – NOUN

A feeling of strong dislike, ill will, or enmity that tends to display itself in action: A deep-seated animosity between two sisters; animosity against one’s neighbor.

Animosity could be directed towards co-workers, family members and friends who are on the other end of what you project. They are the receivers of that feeling. You are the giver.

Application: If these are people who you have to see and work with going forward, having animosity will only further create an impaired ability to grow together and function together. If you have animosity toward someone, you may want to try to clear the air before moving on- just for peace of mind and understanding of the root of the animosity so that you can move forward.

  1. Resentment Definition- NOUN

The feeling of displeasure or indignation at some act, remark, person, etc., regarded as causing injury or insult.

Resentment can be rooted in forbidden places, where it may be hard to reach. It could be directed toward someone or something in your past, which you feel caused you to be in your current state of mind, or in your current situation. While all feelings are valid, they are not all rational. It can be due to mistakes and choices you made in your past, with regard to decisions about jobs, relationships, career moves or reluctance in doing what you now feel you should have done. It could be regrets you have about decisions you made, where you are now projecting on someone else.

Application: Either change the course of your action and get on the track you want to be on, or adopt and implement the “let it go” approach/strategy; especially if it is something that cannot be changed. If you give a stab at reconciling your feelings of resentment toward someone, you may reach the point of closure that you have been seeking in order to live a more productive and healthy life. However, if the outcome is different, you may have to accept it and move on, but do so without resentment.

Acceptance of things that cannot be changed, is not succumbing to an error and allowing the consequence to manifest into anger—it’s can be looked at, as serenity. And with that, you should find peace. You cannot change what happened, but you can change your state of mind, regarding what happened.

  1. Bad Behavior- NOUN 1. Manner of behaving or acting. 2. Observable activity in a human or animal.

The aggregate of responses to internal and external stimuli.

A stereotyped, species-specific activity, as a courtship dance or startle reflex.

  1. Often, behaviors. A behavior pattern.

Example: I believe we all possess to some degree, a notch of bad behavior in which was probably exercised in such unnoticeable doses, that it didn’t cause a majorly negative shift in our day to day. However, that notch tends to grow and grow into pulsating amounts when not checked and gaged on a daily. When that happens, you’ll notice more and more people moving away from your company because of the energy that you seemingly give off.

Since behavior can be broadly defined as a “reaction” to something; arguably, our bad behavior can be considered warranted. However, bad behavior that has taken on a life of it’s own and resides in our character is not. Characteristics of bad behavior can shape the perceptions that people draw from us, in normal conversations. Since this is true- we want to make sure we do a self-assessment and reality checks (or as my people would say, ‘A come to Jesus’) to determine if at those times, we are the ones who need behavior rehabilitation.

Remember the expression, ” Humble pie is best, when served cold.” It wasn’t the person eating it who said that. It’s the person serving it. So let’s make sure we are conducting ourselves with decency and honesty on a daily and in the professional or at least friendly manner, in which we want to be perceived.

  1. Judgment- NOUN The ability to make considered decisions or come to sensible conclusions.

“an error of judgment”

VERB

gerund or present participle: judging

form an opinion or conclusion about.

This needs to go out the window with fanny packs and bangs. Oh, did I just judge someone? Yes, I did. This is something we need to be careful with. While the example I just provided could be harmless, judgement comes across in a lot of ways that do more than offer our rightful opinion.

All judgements are not fair or good. When we make an assessment of a person based on what we saw them wearing or what someone else said about them or when we cast onto them, our opinions of how they should live or take care of their family; a lot of times it’s done without giving consideration to their situation. This is why we should refrain from judging a person period. We have the right to make an analysis regarding their fit in our lives, according to the journey we are personally on; but we are not a liberty to pass judgement on them and their own journey.

Being overly judgmental and critical does nothing for your spirit and causes you to be viewed as a Debbie downer, who always has something negative to say. You attract what you are. If you live a judgemental life, you will attract that kind of energy, since people gravitate to familiarity and things that make them comfortable. However, what tends to happen is, you end up around someone who’s just like you and you can see the error in their ways, but not your own.

Point5 (.5) – BE THE MOST MEMORABLE PERSON IN THE ROOM.

Think of your body as a temple. One with sparkling white marble, crystal chandeliers, German birched hardwood floors, flowing spring water, and light naturally produced by the transparent floor to ceiling windows with 30-foot ceilings. Our fireplace is mantled with success stories and life’s greatest memories. Our coffee tables display infectious and contagious portraits of laughter and excitement from irreplaceable moments with family and friends.

We do not invite harsh chemicals onto our floors and we do not bring contaminated things into our living rooms and bedrooms. We do not keep a dirty home and our floors have not been laid for the purpose of trafficking dirt. Our life isn’t perfect and our homes in real life may not be- but that’s no reason not to clean it up from here on out.

As Seen on CafeMom.com

Charity, Lifestyle, Parenting, Relationships, Travel

Girls Day out

A much needed girl’s day out

If you can find two hours to take to yourself, you’d be amazed by the perspectives that can emerge, to refresh you with newfound territory and direction in paths to pursue or consider. You’d be amazed at the liberties that come with just a two-hour moment of pure bliss.

Living in the moment for a couple of hours can be quite an elevating experience. Just like love is considered a cure and laughter, a medicine; me time, is the remedy. At least I’m convinced it is.

It really is. If you find those couple of hours in a day, imagine what it would be like to spread that around over days, weeks and years. Start slow if needed. Start with an amount of time that attainable, considering your schedule. Carve out time for your happiness to live and grow. Slowly adding ingredients of laughter into the recipe for healthy living, take it in doses if you need and increase the dosage as needed.

My girl’s day out was just what I needed. Though it was just two of is, that is all you need sometimes. For the duration of those two hours, it was a non-stop, exchange of conversation along with splinting laughter, almost to tears. We truly enjoyed meeting back up for some Retail Therapy. Now, today we both have buyer’s remorse- but even that, we laughed about. Lol Buyers Remorse because both of us are so used to over extending ourselves and giving of ourselves in the most selfless way, so when it was time for us; we were almost at a loss of words and things to do. It was like looking at an instruction manual on how to make ourselves happy for the day. However, once we connected- the wheels began to spin and in no time, we were feeling what it was like to have that time together as friends. So, we literally just let down our hair, threw caution to the wind and sailed out. In that order.

We talked about my first attempt at taking the high road: being the first to apologize. Being the first to forgive. Being the first to initiate a conversation to open dialogue and discuss the problem. Being the first to take a stab at walking away and leaving things to the universe, or letting sleeping dogs die, I mean lie; literally. And how, almost simultaneously, I experienced the notion of: No good deed goes unpunished. It was nice to revisit those experiences and share between the two of us how we handled those situations in the past, with regard to building or rebuilding relationships with people we come in contact with. (More to come on that later)

We talked about cross roads, the end of the road, and how, when the ferris wheel comes to a stop: in terms of career, relationships with friends, partners, businesses etc. and how to move beyond and let go, in order to make a smooth transition without burning bridges. But not so much burning a bridge, more than recognizing that the particular bridge you’re about to burn- is not the one you should be crossing. So, perhaps it shouldn’t be referred to as burning a bridge maybe it should be avoiding a bridge or passing on a bridge or declining to take that route in that bridge whatever… just perspectives.

Girl chats are healthy. They offer perspective, when you could just be too emotional to think clearly about your own decisions. You may be too vested in feelings, to see clearly. It allows for you to pull back and see inside your own situation with a different set of eyes. Another perspective will free you up from the eternal struggle of internalizing and over analyzing every detail and aspect of a concern; and show you that they aren’t real concerns. Wait, I’ll take that back. All feelings are valid but not all are rational. So, while your feelings and analyzing from those feelings etc., may have a place, it could also steer you down a path of thinking that’s not necessary not to mention not healthy. So, perspective from a close friend or counterpart with a valuable opinion, may give you what you need in those times.

We all come to the pitchfork in the road sometimes, where we must decide: is this best for me and the people I serve? Is this going to make me better? Is this going to allow growth and will this nurture my overall goal? Are the people I’m working with, truly looking out for my best interest? Is the relationship I’m in truly thriving? Is the company I keep for me or against me?

Having a girl’s day out, a free moment in time and safe advice at no cost, may be what you need. (More to come)

As Seen on SheSAVVY.COM

Lifestyle, Parenting, Relationships, Travel

A ship Anchored in the past, will never sail.

Have you been dating your past? Have you ever thought about that before? Dating a past, can include going back to anything in your life; be it a job that wasn’t suitable the first time, a friendship that wasn’t suitable, a relationship that wasn’t suitable, a business partnership, a business, a way of life period…. that may include things that were to your detriment the first time. It could have been a lifestyle that wasn’t suitable to the direction of life you wanted to live. Dating a past could simply mean, being stuck in the past all together.

The first question you should ask yourself, if you even consider this is: has whatever it is, changed in such a way that it will now serve me? Has that situation become something that is parallel to the things I focus on and will attribute to the success of my overall goal, which may be company ownership, marriage, buying a home, paying off debt, living a healthier life stress free etc. (depending on what part of your past that you are applying this post to) Has it changed in a way that it will allow production and growth not to be stifled in my life? Have I changed in such a way, that makes this decision to go back to whatever it was, that was not for me before; to be good for me now? Am I ready?

You also want to consider with, with discernment: Will the decision to do so, be the biggest mistake that you’d make in your life right now? In that, I mean … if it’s something that you escaped once, why go back. Was it an escape though? Or was it a temporary break, separation, departure from something that was just on hold until it became something worth entertaining, that you could give your time and attention to? Was it a case where the timing just wasn’t good? Ask yourself if this decision would be a present or a problem in your life.

Application: Let’s correct some mistakes – take out all the things in your life that that bring you to your worse. The things that get the worst reaction out of you. If there are things that you can do absolutely nothing about (such as you can not get rid of your child’s mom or dad, even if they stress you out) however, if you have a boyfriend who literally brings your blood to a boil more than 40% of the time you’re together- let it go. This is the difference between things you can change and things you can not change. And then, DO NOT GO BACK. What ever the it, is to you- don’t go back, if it doesn’t move in the direction that your destiny is taking you. That’s the key. Going back, means you have expectations. Which means when your expectations aren’t met, the blow can be more damaging than the first. Or, on the other hand, you end up building up a tolerance for let downs; which is more fatal than a bullet to the heart, when it comes to attacks on your mind, body and soul. Shakespeare wrote, expectation is the root of all heartache.

Sometimes we don’t think about all the things we ask for such as: ridding ourselves of toxic relationships and toxic workplaces, people, in exchange for a more healthy life with all the perks. Then when we are granted that, by the demise of a toxic relationship, for instance, we then go back to that toxic relationship. Stop dating your past.

So in this quest, I’d like for you to really hone in on the things of the past or even present, that bring strife to your life. If they are things of the past, do not bring them back with welcoming arms. Cut the ties and let your ship sail.

The future is uncertain, but the past isn’t. I’d rather take my gamble on an uncertain future than a forsaken past.~Niedria Kenny

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