Below, another reflection from the past. Something that was written in 2011…. clearly another trying time from which I have found growth through a testimony. Sometimes it is necessary to revisit the past…. With that, I share:
Karma, in lay is the belief that all of your actions will have equal repercussions, affecting you. The basic theory is that the universe runs according to certain laws, all described by one word ‘Dharma’ (Sanskrit) or ‘Dhamma’ (Pali). The basic theory is: ’cause and affect’. The laws (Dharma) decide what affect is beget from a given cause. Karma is the ’cause’ part of this theory. In other words, your actions – mental, vocal and physical are your Karma (plural).
In practice, day to day, I try to abide by the Golden Rule; do unto others as you will have them do unto you. The practice and perfecting of this rule is challenged everyday on multiple levels. At work, your co-worker sabotages you. At play, your friends double cross you. In life, people use and abuse you. Just remember, How they treat you is their Karma, how you treat them, is yours.
I’m being challenged personally in my life with how I will react to things that are going on. People who were once close to me and called me family are now playing the enemy to me. What was once togetherness and closeness is now divided by twisted tall tales. In the mist of it all, I still stand with the truth in my right hand and my child in the other. A perfect balance.
……..As much as I tried to process the remarks that came from my ex mother in law, “The lord gives and he will take away”; I was not able to put into content what she could have possibly meant by that with regards to my child. Her other comment, asking why I decided to have my child still has me baffled coming from a mother, a woman and an alleged Christian. Why wouldn’t I have had him is what I really wish I would have asked her. I was struck by those words and left dumbfounded that a woman with two children of her own would ask that question. Speechless, to say the least, there was nothing else to say to her at that point. I have no choice but to insist that these are the cornerstone ideas which has lead my child’s father in his very own destructive way. If your very own mother, whom you love dearly, is your biggest fan and a cheerleader for ignorance and foolishness, you will continue to be truculent. Now the Christian in me says, love everyone. The fight in me says this is not right. When the two merge, I fall somewhere in between on what to do—-but anyone will agree this is a three way toxic relationship. A haphazard triangle on the path of havoc.
So what do I do?
That’s the question I am still asking myself. I have in the past found ways to arrive at forgiving, overlooking, ignoring, letting it go, responding negatively, entertaining it until I was satisfied. In this instance I’m still arriving. I know enough about Karma to know that what goes around will surely come back around. I have to wait. I can’t react in the way that I may want to. People always ask me what I will do about all that is going on, all that has been said to me and the vile way my ex acts toward me, all the charges and accusations he makes to me about my character, all the offensive remarks he makes to get under my skin and get control of my mind. —and to their surprise, I say, I will wait. He will wake up and have a revelation at some point and realize all that is going on. Sometimes it takes a train wreck, but it will be revealed.
My mother in law also accused me of talking about their family. Her reliable source she mentioned were, QUOTE: “people in the streets”. All I can say to that is —wait. Karma has no end. It strikes all involved. As much as it hurts to wait and as much as you may anxiously wait —you have to wait. Not in a sense that you are hoping or wishing and waiting on evil to strike the person who has wronged you. It’s not that at all and you should pay close attention not to confuse the two. It’s the knowing that the truth is the only thing that in indestructible. All the time people spend spreading and entertaining rumors to get a good fight out of people involved will be in vain. If you search for the truth, you can find it. It may be beat up, bruised, dirty, and hung out to dry, but it is what it is and it will still be the truth. Know that whatever people do to you-whatever they say about you in negative manner only deserves a silent response. I learned a long time ago that if you do not entertain lies they will go away eventually. However, if you do choose to respond, do it with dignity. If the truth is your story, tell as many as you would like.
I RECENTLY EMBARKED ON MY VERY OWN Karma Challenge to improve my energy source within and to practice positive response. This challenge was 90 days and included a 40 day fast, a 7- day soul tie breaking and a rebuilding of your favorite 5, which are the closest people to you from whom most of your energy comes from. Within the challenge, there were direction given on what to do to create a positive force-field.
Someone asked me what you do when you try and try to be positive and people around you are so negative and has a response for every positive comment you make. I told her that the initial response to positivity will be a negative response. You have to continue to be that positive force hoping to change the surrounding. Soon they will catch on and want some of what you got —or they will go away. Recently in my bout dealing with these sick people, I try to take their negative comment and turn it into a positive one.
In application: I was excited about having such a beautiful, healthy baby and was carrying on with my life. When my ex saw this he knew could not break or control me with all the ugliness in the world he was throwing at me, and so he tried telling me I was nothing before I had my child; and that my child made me. Well, the only thing that I wasn’t before my child– was a phenomenal mother. So, I guess he’s right!!! I told him, my child did make me. He made me a great mother. I got beauty for ashes. Isaiah 61:3
…………….For now, I remain the X, constant, the unchanging variable; leaving vindication in the hands of the universe.