SOOO, I am not a good mother since my ex can’t piss me off anymore?

Warning: Excessive foul and Expressive language may be used to express excessive points. If you are sensitive and more importantly if you are a bitch ass baby daddy- you may want to exit right now. You have already been warned.

Disclaimer: I am tired as fuck of my baby daddy and his air balls at pissing me off.

Here’s the post he’s been waiting for: This is how the story went…. A fleeting time ago I was hit with the devastating news that I was losing custody of my child to his father, whom successfully gained custody after lying his Ars off in court. Lies included him saying that I did not care about my son, he did not believe that I was a good parent, a loving mother and that I had no concern for my child’s health and overall well-being. He said that I did not spend time with him and that I poked fun at the fact that he had a TIC on social media. He lied about me endangering my child. (All made up) He even went on to make these false and meritless statements, none of which were supported by any documentation, evidence or anything other than his opinion and word. Go Figure!

He had me jailed on a false accusation. He caused me a criminal record over a false accusation. Never providing proof nor evidence – and the prosecutor never heard from the witnesses but went to the grand jury with a bunch of opinions- and because that’s the way it works in Texas, they indicted me. However they ultimately dismissed the case two years later. But guess what? ITS STILL ON MY RECORD and still affects my life! The damage was done.

The sad part is that idiots of the world only see that he won the custody battle, so they believe this shit must have been true. They don’t have the details or the back story and absolutely no wherewithal to discern between truth and lies- they are lazy as fuck and would rather go off what they hear rather than to research.

motehr1

For those who know me, they knew that this was a cold-hearted…. Well, A heartless attempt at making me look bad, so that he could get the favorable outcome. All is fair in love and war, right?

He went on to say that I was unemployed, financially unstable and had not proven myself to have stability in life. He harped on his job of 10 plus years, his status as a pharmacist, his salary over 100k and his success at remaining in a home for over 10 years, (the home I left to his ass after trying to show that I wasn’t trying to take anything from him) as his means for solidifying his claims against mine. (Who knew that you couldn’t decide to move from a home to a $2000.00/month apartment and then back to a home within 10 years without being labeled as unstable? Who knew that you couldn’t take on another position with another company making more income within 10 years without being called unstable? Who knew that in Texas, if you have lived in your boring ass home for 10 years and kept the same job for 10 years it meant you were stable) That’s a memo I never got!

I stayed home to take care of my child everyday of his life and he never needed for anything. I provided love, support, affection, attention, teaching, learning opportunity and extra curricular activities- never once denying his dad the opp to be there.

While it was heartbreaking to hear someone that I had known for over 25 years could make such an accusation, especially knowing the leaps and bounds I took for my son, the sacrifices I made for my son and the passion I had for being a mother along with all the things I did for my son before daddy even decided to claim his son, and all the things I did to make sure that Mr. Deadbeat had an opportunity to be in his child’s life when and if he decided to be; I was even more devastated that it came from someone I had blessed with a son and had no hard feelings against. But when a man is scorn, my lord- he can turn into the most evil, vindictive and malicious creature you’ve ever seen. #FACTS And yes, while we are on the subject, his own pathetic mother, grandmother, family and broke ass friends can be a part of it. #CHEERLEADERS

mother2

Now, let me add this: It didn’t help me at all with the custody case that I had written grievance after grievance against the judge and the lawyers involved with this mockery of justice during the 4 years that we were fighting – Along with sharing the story with news channels and making a documentary … A screenplay… etc., Because when it came down to the judge making his decision, opposing counsel made sure that he reminded the judge that I had written a grievance against him and the Judge who was hearing the case. This was hunting season for them. The day they’d all been waiting for had arrived. This was a no win for me. And it had nothing to do with me being a bad parent. It was finally time for them to seek revenge. My custody case was not about how bad or good of a parent I was. It was about what I had posted, written and shared on social media about the injustice that was unfolding in Harris County. And that’s documented in the transcripts of the court from that day (Feb 2017)

I told them all before entering court that I knew there was no way that I would win, when the judge making the decision was already upset about me saying that his ruffled pink socks did not match his cute little skirt. I knew that opposing counsel felt some type of way about me talking about his correction shoes (which he even brought up in court….at a damn custody hearing!!) lol. My point of going to court was to have on record all the lies that were being told, because at that point I had to start thinking ahead to all the questions my son would soon have about why he was not with his mother that he loves and adores. I wanted my son to know that I went through the fire! I wanted him to hear for himself, should he ever ask. So, I was at peace. I had to arrive at peace because this was a situation that I was not in control of and no matter how right I was, I was not going to be able to convince a judge that he shouldn’t retaliate against me when he had all the power to do so. That’s just how little men with complexes are. When you point out that they are two feet tall, it’s game on! When you point out that they should not have a seat on the bench because they cannot handle someone telling them when they are wrong, their narcissistic urge to fuck your world up comes into play. They will stop at nothing to show you that Little, Short Men who got no play in school, lives matter. Furthermore, when you have intel about their personal lives, they are on a mission to destroy you before you can destroy them. (Another story for another day)

mother3

I said all that to say that its apparent that I had my share of lashing out as I was angry, upset, mad, disgusted, livid, pissed off, in denial about what was happening, all while seeking justice for my son and trying to make sure that he did end up with the more suitable parent. But in that time, I forgot about how little men handle insults. I forgot about how when they were in high school they were overlooked, so they took on powerful positions in their careers and work life later in life so that they could prove a point and go after every woman or good looking male athlete in defense of the not so popular crown and root for the underdog. My hand was in the lion’s mouth. I was up against insecure, little men with complexes who were pissed off that I called them out. Unfortunately for me, they were the little men who were making the decisions at the end of the day.

But here is where I tell you about how things changed. As mentioned before, I knew what the outcome would be, and I had already planned for it. That’s why when it happened, I moved on without hiccups. I had small setbacks and it bothered me of course, but when you arrive at a place where you realize being down everyday and hurt or remaining in disbelief over a situation doesn’t place you where you need to be and does nothing for the situation, you move the fuck on. You find ways to cope. You see the silver lining. You embark on new journeys and opportunities that are available to you with your new set of circumstances. And if you are smart about it, you make it work.

mothe4

But here’s what happens when you do this. You get that email message from your bitch assed baby daddy one day that states that you’re not a good mom and you don’t care about your kid, and mothers “don’t do that” (Move out of the state of texas) since you are not mad anymore about what has taken place. WTF? LOL Dammed if you do, dammed if you don’t. They want you to be upset, That’s why they did what they did… long as you are upset, they are happy, but when you find happiness or ways to cope and measures to take which will help you navigate through all the pain, it eats at their soul and the only thing they can tell you is that you are not a good parent since you can only see that you don’t have to take the responsibility of the mistakes they made.. WTF. Moving out of the state all of a sudden means I don’t care about my son? Moving from a place of constant harassment and threats of going to jail, makes me a bad mom? Get over yourself. A smart mom would do just this! So that they will no longer be a target of destruction! And so that they can ensure that their child will have their mother around and not fall victim again to circumstance brought on by an angry father who can’t digest that his BM doesn’t want him.

This is what I see: I see a man who did all he could to destroy my life and instead of destroying my life, he’s slowly destroying our sons. Does that make me happy? Hell no. I am still devastated- but give me one example where being devastated fixed a situation. I’ll wait….. NONE. Action is what fixes a situation. I’m taking action- and that doesn’t include giving more crooked attorneys 100’s of 1000’s of dollars all for them to take money under the table (from opposing parties) and under represent me at the end of the day!

My action is to be there for my child in all the ways that I can. In all the ways I can be, which are all the ways I wholeheartedly want to be. It does not include giving the baby daddy any energy. My plight is not to rescue the daddy from hurt and deliver him from pain of me leaving him or showing him that he hurt me by taking my son under false accusations and playing on the court. My plight is to be the best mom possible and that includes being healthy in mind, body and spirit. If that means that I must cope with a temporary situation because of the cards that were dealt and watch from a distance because I have no other options, then that is what I will do. I will never give up on my son and I will always be here for him, wherever the chips may fall…. but what I will not do is to give my baby daddy the fuel he so desperately needs and desires in knowing that he shattered me when he took my son away just to prevent paying child support. So, my question still is WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU STILL SO MAD?

mother5

Is it because you thought that stating your income would piss your BM off, as if she didn’t know what it was? Is it because you thought you were the only nigga who could take care of your BM? Is it because you thought that none else would want your BM and you’ve found that not to be true? Is it because you mentioned that you are in a relationship and that was supposed to piss your BM off (? which you’re clearly not happy to be in)? Is it because the “stable home” that you are building a new life in, is the same one that you literally built a life in with your BM? Is it because you are just upset that she’s not mad anymore about the lies you told and that the universal laws of karma have proven to you that you can’t get away with murder……? How can you tell her that she’s not a good mom, just because she’s not upset over the outcome anymore? Is it because you now know what it takes to be the custodial parent and you bit off more than you could chew? You don’t get to be upset about having the sole responsibility of providing for your son, when that’s what you asked for! Man Up!

I am making moves that will guarantee my son a successful set up in life, despite the circumstance. I would like Baby daddy to know that now is the time for him to get over himself and his need for constant attention and focus on his son. I would love for him to know that he should not be concerned about what I am doing, if I am doing for my son, the things I can do. I would like for him to know that just because he doesn’t see me angry about the bull shit he pulled in court, does not make me a bad parent. Its an example of someone picking up the cards and moving on, to create a future for the child she cares more about than the feelings of her trifling baby daddy who wants so badly to see her hurting.

mother6

In closing and in response to that ridiculous email about me not being a good mother since I am not mad over not having custody….Fuck you and the horse you rode in on… It’s not about you. It’s about the child. Stop trying to upset your child’s mother. Stop trying to piss your baby mother off. Stop trying to destroy your baby mother…. Think about your child. Yes, your child’s mother has moved on. She has found a life worth living. She has found ways to cope and she has the support to do so. If you were any kind of father, you would want this for her. You would want this for your child. If your child’s mother is still present for your child and supportive of your child’s endeavors, don’t make your life about making her so mad that she is not able to do so. Because when you do………. When you did, with that email, you showed the world what your entire intention was; Which was to make her so mad that she wouldn’t be able to do any of these things. And now you look stupid.

Advertisements

Waiting and having patience: Don’t act like you don’t already know this

Waiting and having patience: Don’t act like you don’t already know this

I realize that the bidding sometimes starts low when it comes to guys choosing. And because of this, they never make it to the items with substance. When they do, they don’t see the value or worth because they have just placed a bid on something that appears to be the same or flashier in which not much work is required to maintain.

Here’s the deal: We aren’t really talking about auction items here. We are talking about or the difference between two women. Material, if you will…Both cut from the cloth of a woman. One of fine silk, lace trim, articulately crafted and woven to perfection. The other, a piece of cotton that can wash on any cycle. And all I am really saying is that you’ve never seen instructions on cotton that says, Handle With Care. And while you still should, if you want it to last longer, it doesn’t require it, so HE probably wouldn’t.

relationship

Women, you need to require that men handle you with the care that you need. If the instructions are not made clear, they won’t. From the time men were boys, they had to be told to take out the trash, clean their room, put their dirty clothes in the hamper instead of sprawled out over the floor. They had to be told to take a bath/shower, put on clean underwear…. You get what I am saying? They need instruction. Once those instructions are given and made clear, they can’t act like they don’t already know this. Only hold a man accountable for what they know. Then, hold yourself accountable for what you accept.

bath

I hear women speak about having patience in dating the guy that they want, but 5, 10, 15 years in they are still waiting and have yet to recognize that it has reached the level of what they tolerate and has it nothing to do with patience. When you begin to accept a certain behavior while telling yourself that you’re just being patient, you’re in denial. There’s nothing wrong with having patience when you are waiting on the right thing. But there is absolutely something wrong with tolerating unruly behavior while you continue to believe that one day he will give you what you want.

We convince ourselves to believe that something good could come out of this. We make ourselves believe that because he gravitates more toward the cheap knock off… to knock off, that maybe our expectations were too high to begin with; thus, our reasoning behind lowering or reducing our standards which lessens and devalues our worth in order to levy ourselves with him.

WORTH

Guys are probably going to always shop bargains and the lowest price, for long as it’s available but if you know that your merchandise is good, you know that you are worth a man making a substantial gesture in an investment of respect and proper care in you. And you will not settle for less.

Here are some examples of when it’s ok to be patience with the man you are dating

engagement

I will wait on a man who is building his net worth so that he can solidify his financial future

I will wait on a man who prioritizes his life in a way, so that it will work for the team in the long run

I will wait on a man who is responsible enough to know that his children should be first on the list

I will wait on a man who is eager to learn and is implementing things that he has learned

I will wait on a man who is consistent in showing by action and word, that he’s committed for the long run

I will wait on a man who speaks marriage and follows up with behavior that demonstrates he wants marriage

I will wait on a man who is diligent in seeking ways to build an empire

I will wait on a man who respects me during the process of my waiting, whom also shows appreciation

Here’s what is not OK to wait on, with the man you are dating:

break up

I will not wait on a man to stop cheating on me.

I will not wait on a man to decide I’m worth it.

I will not wait on a man to decide if I’m enough.

I will not wait on a man who doesn’t realize that there’s something tremendously wrong with supporting another woman in her endeavors but not me in mine.

I will not wait on a man who can’t decide if I’m worth taking home to meet his family and friends.

I will not wait on a man who puts me through rigorous tryouts daily, to compete for him. If he can’t choose, I will choose for him.

I will not wait on a man to decide if I am appealing and desirable enough to keep his attention.

I will not wait on a man to finish laying down with every woman who wants to lay down with him, until no one is left.

I will not wait on a man who does not know the difference between a knock off and authenticity

I will not wait on a man who sees me as his last resort

I will not wait on a man who sees me as an option and not a priority

I will not wait on a man that spreads himself around town and brings me his leftovers

I will not wait on a man who has a revolving door for women

I will not wait on a man who places me last on the list of things to be concerned about

I will not wait on a man who pretends not to know the preliminaries in a relationship, yet knows all of them when it comes to another woman.

I must live by the words I write. Otherwise, I would constantly have to shove down extra servings of crow’s feet. Since I chose a unique way to serve my pallet and one that includes delicacies, I’ll pass on the wooden nickels.

A Realistic Concern Of A Single Mom Raising a Child Alone

I remember walking into Quest Diagnostics in October of 2010. First thing I noticed was a baby cuddled between a blanket in a car seat, nestled next to a woman. I had no idea who she was because the baby was so young and the only perception I had of someone who’d just given birth, was that she’d be in the hospital for several weeks. So, surely it was not the mother. But who else?

Because I’ve never met a stranger, a trait I inherited from my dad, I began to ask questions. How old is he? 4 days. Is that your baby? How ignorant of me, as I reminisce about how this conversation transpired. “Yes” the lady answered.

I was 7 months at the time. Small chat kept me occupied as I waited in the lobby alongside this lady, that I’d come to know as Danielle. A single mom, who’d given birth naturally, with the help of a doula. Her child, Kingston.

I talk a great deal about forming bonds with other mothers and networks as well as extended support through family and friends. So, I figured it was necessary to tell you about this one that I formed back in 2010. We exchanged numbers and the rest was history. We are still friends to this day and our sons have formed a bond as well. (when they are not fighting like siblings) laughs*

Danielle recently posted a status on Facebook, which caught my attention. It caused me to think about the realistic concerns that we have as single mothers. I have spoken before about the importance of having an emergency contact list, and a POC in cases of emergencies. Danielle’s post was one of those cases where the emergency contact list would come into place. It puts into perspective, what it is like sometimes, to be a single mother.

“When you almost choke on a strawberry and realize your emergency contact most of the time is your 7-year-old son, then you gotta go over “if mommy passes out and she is not playing” drills…You get a true sense of what partnership is. Get hopeful for what you want partnership to be. Get anxious about if you’ll live long enough for your child to survive on his own? Have I taught him enough? Does he know how much I love him? All this crossed my mind in a matter of seconds.” (Danielle) 

After reading this post, I immediately thought back to a time when my son was only a few months old and we lived alone in a Townhome. One night, while I lay asleep upstairs with him next to me, I was awakened by the sound of what I thought to be someone breaking in. I jumped from the bed, pressed my ear against the closed bedroom door to confirm the sound. I did not have a landline in the home and my cell phone… who knows? Why didn’t I call the police? Not sure, as all of this happened in a matter of seconds.

My son was waking up and beginning to cry. He was a colic baby, so I was worried that whomever was in the house, was about to come right to us. I had to think fast. I knew I could not remain in that room and wait for tragedy to strike the both of us. I picked my son up from the bed, wrapped him in a blanket and placed him in a large plastic storage tote that was next to the bed. I placed my index finger over my lips, signaling to him, please be quiet. We locked eyes almost as if we had an understanding. He didn’t make one sound. I partially covered the container, leaving more than enough open for him to breath and see light.

My heart was thumping out of my chest. I grabbed my firearm and proceeded to the bedroom door. I opened it and drew my weapon, ready to shoot to kill whatever was on the other side. No one was there. I walked to the adjacent bedroom. Nothing. Body shaking, I made my way down the stairs. Afraid for my life, I screamed out a warning. I wanted the burglar to know that I had a gun, in hopes that he/she/they would flee. Nothing. Now I am standing in the downstairs living room, where I have full view of the whole downstairs. Nothing and no one was there. I did a thorough check of the house and went back upstairs. I uncovered the tote and there he was just lying there being silent. I picked up my son and just cried.

In telling the story, it seems as if all of this took place over several minutes. However, it didn’t. Everything happened quickly and there was no time to think of a solid plan or to rationalize with thoughts. I had a small townhome and perhaps I thought the odds were in my favor to face the danger, rather than wait on a cop to show up.

After all of this happened, I couldn’t help but to think about the fact that there was no safety plan in place. There was no escape route. There was no plan of action.

Now that our boys are older, she and I have had to somewhat rely on them to be able to act on knowing what to do in the event of an emergency. Being single mothers, this often-times is the case, especially when there is no family around. I have done mock demonstrations with Cornelius, where we’ve staged a 911 phone call on what information he would need to be able to give to the operator.

I have also implemented an exit route that no one knows about but the two of us, where I had to find creative ways for him to know that it should be kept between the two of us. I have posted emergency numbers around the house, and without terrifying him, I routinely go through a safety check, where I have him demonstrate to me that he knows what to do.

Originally Published on CafeMom.Com

What Happened When School Was Delayed For Two Weeks and What I Learned In The Process

I had a remarkable summer with my son. From multiple road trips, to a memorable vacation at Disney world, Universal Orlando and Lego Land. Amidst the summer swim sessions, hotel rendezvous, fun food trials, kickball soiree, movie nights, late night play and site words; it was his first day of school that I was anticipating.

I think I speak for many moms, when I say, this is something that we all look forward to being a part of. At least while the little ones are in grade school. Everything is a first and we document it, don’t we? Well, I do. I want a first day of Preschool, first day of Kindergarten, first day of first grade…and so on. Somewhat of a walking, mom selfie-editorial; with up to 3000 photos stored on the phone at a time. HEY, don’t judge me. LOL. My mom and sisters admire it. My sister has often mentioned that she wished she did it for her son and daughter as they were growing. I could tell you what my son wore when he was 3.522 years old.

I had not seen my son for three weeks, as my extended summer visitation with him, came to a close the first week of August. It was August 24th, when the excitement about my sons first day of first grade peaked. I was I was in Houston, Texas preparing to see him during the parent-teacher meeting originally scheduled for the following Friday. However, the meeting was canceled due to Hurricane Harvey, which produced and recorded historic flooding in Houston area. Subsequently, school was canceled and I was stuck for 13 days. Fortunately, my son was nowhere in sight. He was already miles away, in Alabama, and safe! I couldn’t be mad at all. But at first, I could not understand why I had gone through all of this, only wanting to see my son on his fist day, and would still miss it. But I knew deep down, it was not all about me. So, at that time, it became a matter of planning the best route out of the city, and while it did not come easy- it came later.

In the middle of the storm, rain and flooding, next to safety for all; all I could think about was how I would miss his first day of first grade, since school was canceled and I was scheduled to be out of town when they were tentatively set to begin. I wasn’t worrying too much about the fact that they couldn’t begin, because I knew that it was safety precautions and it was the best decisions for the school, considering the amount of damage to the city, people homes, others being displaced, road closures and impassable highways leading in, around and out of the city. We were all under siege.

When the time did come, where I was able to leave the house and the city, to get to a safe place where living conditions were conducive for survival; my son was still in Alabama. That’s where I headed. I drove down on September 5th, with prayers. The previous two days had been rough and traumatic for me and I was missing my son. All I wanted was a big fat hug and a kiss! It was with hope that I was clinging to, that he would still be in Alabama when I arrived, so that I could lay my eyes on him. I wanted to tell him how much he is loved and how grateful I was to be the mother to one amazing little Prince.

Request was granted. School was postponed for another week, and I could see my son. After everything that happened, I considered myself blessed and highly favored that I survived the storm, and that I ultimately got my one wish, which was to see his face before he started school, so that I could wish him well. It may seem like a selfish wish, seeing how some are still to this day, recovering from Harvey’s wrath, but for me it was something so much more.

It was the fact that things could have turned out so much differently, and I hate to ponder the thought of anything bad happening to him, had he been in the city. It was about cherishing moments that I do have with him and making the best of it. It meant a great deal to me to see him off to school, but it was a greater deal that I was alive and able to. It was a big deal to me that the both of us were safe from harm, and able to continue to create memories together.

It was a humbling experience. I was fortunate to have the means to leave the city and to be in a place where my son would be for a couple of more days. I spent those couple of days with him, prior to today, relishing in the joy of having my son and being happy that he was not with me during this storm. It made me appreciate all the moments that I do get to share with him. In the end, I could see that everything happens for a reason, and that if we trust the process, we will understand it better. There wasn’t one moment that I let him out of my sight. I took in every waking second, filling myself with his eyes. A denied wish to see him in August, as planned, was just a delayed blessing.

Today, my son started first grade. While I did not see him today, I saw him Saturday. I have learned to not panic over having that snap shot of the very first day of anything anymore, but to appreciate that any time I get with him, will be a good-time and is always a blessing.

http://www.workingmother.com/what-happened-when-school-was-delayed-for-two-weeks

Top 5 Things I learned When My Child Started Crawling and Walking

I vividly remember the wild, first 10 months of my son’s life, where he went from turning over on his own, at just a few days old, to rolling around in circles on the floor. I remember him going from scooting to crawling and pulling himself up on things around the house, to taking his first steps, without the support of a table corner, a couch arm, the walker or my hand.

Pampers Cruisers

Growing up Mommy

Toddler Days, with my little Prince

  1. The first lesson I learned was to not wish for it to happen so quickly. Boy, was I in for a ride. I looked forward to it happening, and was happy that he could be independent. I thought it would help me out, being a single parent and needing him to find his way to the kitchen on his own, without me having to run back and forth to tend to him, while I was trying to cook.
  2. I learned that once our little ones began to walk, they are less curious about what their mommies are doing in the kitchen, and more curious about what they can get into, while mom isn’t looking. I never knew that once those steps were in full effect, I’d be doing a whole lot more running, than the little, that I was complaining about.
Pampers Cruisers

Growing up Mommy

At least he was a helpful little one, once he began to walk…

  1. This is when I learned that it was time to baby proof the house, even more than I had already done. Now, it was time to put locks on the pantry door, a lock on the refrigerator, and gates around the house.
  2. I also learned that I needed a better diaper, and that it was wise to stock up on them when discounts and opportunities to save were available. Now that he was on the move, I needed to get on the move to find a diaper that offered the best fit and dryness for busy babies. It was during this time that I truly began to research, test and do trials to determine which would best suit his needs and my wallet. That’s when I found Pampers Cruisers to be the perfect fit for both of us. While motherhood offered no cruise control, Pampers did provide Cruisers.
Pampers Cruisers

Growing up Mommy

The little Prince sits, in his Cruisers, attentively watching the Muppets show

I wanted something that didn’t sag like ordinary diapers, which would allow my son to move more freely. I found that Cruisers’ unique 3-way fit adapts at the waist, legs and bottom for more flexibility. This was important, as I had one chunky and active little one.

Pampers Cruisers

Pampers

Sam’s Club offering $8 off purchases of two Pampers Cruisers

Other benefits were that Pampers Cruisers soft, stretchy sides helped the diaper stay in place, flexing with his every move. Having had a healthy and chunky baby that moved around a lot; I was impressed that Pampers Cruisers’ flexible leg cuffs gently seal around baby’s legs for a strong leakage barrier. And lastly, Cruisers have Extra Absorb Channels for a 12-hour dryness and leg sagging.

  1. Around the 16th month, I discovered it was time to purchase a more secure baby gate for the stairs. You can see in the video featured below just how effective I was in doing that! He’s totally caught off guard, at 16 months old, in his Pampers Cruisers trying to figure out how to get through the gate. #MommyWins

Here’s how you can win too: Shop at Sam’s Club, on samsclub.com or on the Sam’s Club app before October 31st and get instant savings of $8 and free shipping or Club Pickup (where available) when you buy two packages of Pampers Diapers. Savings will automatically be calculated when check-out at the register in-club, with the Scan & the Go App or on samsclub.com

Pampers Cruisers

Pampers

A saving grace, as we made our way through infancy and toddler years

The most valuable lesson of all, which I am fortunate to have learned and accepted early on, was that my son was full-speed ahead and there was going to be no slowing down. It was time for me to seriously consider how I would be able to do all of this on my own. Saving time in stores and saving money on purchases by stocking up on Pampers Cruisers was included in my plan of action.

I used to dread going shopping with my son, because he was a busy-body, even in the buggy. He required so much attention. If I didn’t try to take so much stuff, to keep him occupied while in the store, things could have gone a lot smoother. That is something else I learned. My friend once said to me, “You’re going to get robbed one day, carrying all that stuff around” LOL, stating that I packed the kit and caboodle when I left the house with my son. In hindsight, I did kind of look like I was going camping every time I left the house.

Pampers Best Fit

Pampers Best Fit

Stock up on Pampers Cruisers, during October, while you can save.

Being a woman on the go, and always on the go with my little one, having an option to Scan & Go saves the day for the working mother. With Sam’s Club Scan & Go App, you can skip the checkout line and save time by downloading the app and scanning your items with your phone as you shop in the club. Check out with the app, your receipt will appear on your phone and you are on your way. Download the app here: Apple Android

Pampers Best Fit

Sam’s Club Pampers Cruisers

Shop at Sam’s Club or samsclub.com before October 31 and get an instant savings of $8.00 when you buy two packages of Pampers Diapers

Club Pickup – Order your Pampers Cruisers on samsclub.com and select Club Pickup to have everything waiting for you when you arrive to the club. You don’t even need to leave your car in some clubs. Now, how about that for being short on time or stressing over shopping with your active and curious little shopper in training!

Online – Go to Pampers Cruisers Product Page and order your diapers for delivery straight to your door. #PampersBestFit #ad #Deal This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Pampers at Sam’s Club. The opinions and text are all mine

Top 5 Things I Learned When My Child Started Crawling And Walking

Here’s The Best Advice That I Can Give To A New Single Mom: It’s Not Going To Be Easy, But It Doesn’t Have To Be Hard

Mommy-hood sprung on you like flowers in the springtime, after the stork dropped a bundle of joy at your door and forgot to leave the dad. Devastating, but not the end of the world.

Here’s what you should know: Being single is not a disease. Being a single mom is not a handicap. To find yourself solely responsible for the health and well-being of a child can be overwhelming, and while being a mother is a life sentence, being a single mom is not a death sentence.

ON LIFE:

There was a time long ago, when it seemed like single moms and women who had children were looked over in the dating and work stream because they were perceived as having too much baggage. Today, they are an asset. Not just as potential wives and life-partners, but as business partners and leaders. They have overcome some of life’s greatest challenges, demonstrating their relentlessness and resilience.

Single moms are proving more and more that they can run lucrative businesses from home and be as productive , working from home as someone on a 9-5. Moms and single mothers are the go to, when looking for the best deals and the latest products to hit the market. For that, they contribute to a substantial portion of brand awarene… being targeted by some of the world’s most notorious companies, who seek to reach moms. Know this: You are useful. You are resourceful. You are valuable.

ON BEING SINGLE:

Being a Single Mom is not what we strive to be. But hey, let’s face it. For some of us, our affirmation is, “I woke up like this” -Niedria

You don’t have to do it alone: This is our biggest fear. The fear of being alone in the process of raising healthy children. The fear of having no one around when we need assistance and guidance, advice, counsel and wisdom.

Utilize your immediate network of family, your friends and organizations My mother was and still is my strongest ally. When you access your immediate network, you remain in a constant state of motivation.

Extended Support: Take advantage of the extended support (available through church or community activities) and opportunities to become involved with people who will assist you in finding programs that provide resources. Even if it’s temporary assistance, don’t be afraid to use it so that you can position yourself to win.

Access local resources: Many libraries list groups where you can meet and have discussions with other moms. Attend seminars, where you can get connected with local moms, parenting groups and others alike.

Everything takes time: Trust the process. This is something that I not only tell you, but it’s something I remind myself of everyday. If you need to tell yourself, over and over, to remind yourself that it’s a process, then do it. Try not to become bogged down in the desire to achieve immediate results. That’s something that I am guilty of. Stand back and look at the whole picture, even when you feel like time is running out. Have a Plan A, B and C, but don’t spread yourself too thin. Give the appropriate amount of time and attention to each plan as you go.

ON BEING MOM: I adopted a “Mother First” mantra. Before I considered anything, I chose to take in account how it would serve my child as well. This boiled down to lifestyle choices. We all live very different lives, in which we must tailor our decis…

GET ORGANIZED: This entails making lists, setting reminders, scheduling things in advance, making appointments for the future. Use a filing system, a planner or a white board to write down important dates to remember.

Focus and Prioritize: Sharply define your center point. (Where am I now?) Start there. Then readjust where needed, for clarity of what’s most important, to properly file and address things accordingly in life.

Plan Ahead For Urgent Situations: Create an emergency list of family and friends, as well as useful numbers for emergency personnel. Place the list in an area where it can be accessed.

Preparation: Making use of free time to prepare for your day. Such as: packing items you may need before leaving home, like for a day at the park, zoo, mall, movies or anywhere else.

ON DATING:

You don’t have to tell everyone that you are single: You don’t have to take every phone number that’s offered and you certainly shouldn’t give yours out to everyone. You’d want to practice discretion in dating and be mindful of the company you keep.

You don’t have to answer all the questions as to why you’re still single: When do you plan on getting married? Don’t feel pressured. Once again, being a single mom is not synonymous with desperate. Take your time choosing a partner. Do not rush to settle. If you have learned anything from the stork who left the bundle at the door, it’s to not open the door for just anyone.

ON LOVE: Single moms have demonstrated what they can bring to the table in providing nourishm… To the mature and distinguished man, these moms are attractive, in that they are independent, responsible, successful and sexy, at the same damn time.

When and if you do find someone, you will wonder when the right time to introduce significant other to your child. This is something that only you can gauge. It’s O.K. to seek advice from close friends who truly have your best interest at heart. Sometimes it’s good to consult with friends. Just be sure that you have overcome all your objectives in the relationship, as to what you want to bring around your child. A general rule of thumb, if you can’t bring him home, leave him alone.

http://redtri.com/best-advice-to-a-newly-single-mom/

What I learned In My 30’s And What I Think I Know, Now That I am Almost 40

I know that on September 18th, I will turn 40 years old. I know that I only get one second to be 40 years old, and that puts into perspective, the fact that regardless of if you chose to remain still and frozen in time, life goes on. This means, Time and The Tide waits for no man, and if we want something, we must go get it.

We get older by the second, arguably, the Nano second, but nonetheless, we are not getting any younger. I know that responsibilities in some areas increase, as age and maturity requires more of an adult mindset. Your life is a series of seconds that you do not get to rewind. Spend them wisely, seizing moments and opportunities.

I think I know that life is short, and tomorrow is not promised to anyone. However, we make plans, with the expectations that we will be present, in life, when the time comes.

I know that we waste a lot of time in our youth and young adult life, trying to figure out what we are going to do after 40.

I think I know that we should be conscious of the decisions to whom and what, we give our time, trust, love, respect and honor. I’ve learned that good friends are hard to find, and worth fighting for. I’ve learned that if someone wants to be in your life, they will try to do so. I’ve learned that if you know your value, no one can make you feel worthless. I’ve learned how much weight that accountability holds and how much respect an apology can earn. I’ve learned that people who want your attention, will give you theirs and people who want to see you happy, will never forget about the things that make you happy. I’ve learned that people who respect you, will not waste your time.

I know that mistakes are inevitable and bad decisions can cost you your life or at least a portion of it. I know that people make mistakes, and life is better when you forgive- because grudges are heavy. But I also know that forgetting is not promised with forgiveness, nor should it be.

I know that change comes to those who seek it. I know that you should wake up with the urge and desire to live, to live a full life, if you don’t want to just exist in life. I know that everyone has a purpose, regardless of if they have figured out what it is.

I know that it’s important to remain grounded and humble. I think I know that it is important to have a staunch support system, and to be surrounded by people who love you sincerely and genuinely want you to win. I think it’s important to know that some people are not fans or supporters and it’s important to be able to discern, when disclosing intimate details of our life.

I think that it’s important to know when to walk away from toxic relationships, jobs, things, habits and old ways that have stifled our growth. I know that it’s imperative to recognize early warning signs of a catastrophe ahead, to avoid pitfalls in life. I know that if we pay attention to those signs, and adhere to the warning, we would have a much easier life. I know that I heard the phrase, “It may not be easy, but it will be worth it” a thousand times in my 30’s, but I can’t help but to think if it was worth 10 years of my life. We should use discretion, when adopting such statements to live by.

My entire 30’s was spent, learning lessons… repeat lessons- lessons I shouldn’t have had to repeat. But, I know it is because I never got the lesson the first time. It was also spent loving on a child, the love of my life, in ways I never imagined I could. That’s called taking the bitter with the sweet. I know that children add a rare ingredient to life, somewhat of a delicacy.

I know that it hurts sometimes and it’s unbearable. I know that things happen in due time, and that they happen for a reason. I know that some days are harder than others. I know that sometimes, the mission is just to make it out of the bed, and out of the house for a few hours to see that the sun is still shining.

I know that there is and was a range of emotions that come along with making life-altering decisions. I know that in the end, if we use what we have, head and heart combined that we can make the best possible decision. I know that decisions come with hefty price tags. I know that our choices should be rooted in the better investment.

I know that some days are filled with crying and trying to adjust to a new life, or break free from the bondage of an old life. But, I know that tears don’t always represent pain. Sometimes they are stitched and woven from overwhelming joy and happiness. I know that love will find you, no matter where you hide, so long as you leave the light on.

I know that to move on in life, you must let go of the things weighing you down. I know that choices are hard to make when it comes to letting go of things that you thought were real; in work, relationships, opportunities, businesses, endeavors, etc. I know that dreams are sometimes visions to the dreamer. I know that you must have a vision and a mission to excel and succeed.

I know that life is full of ups and downs, left punch, right punch, curve balls and sneak sacs. I know that every time we run the ball, we will not score and every time we get the ball on a fast break, we won’t make the shot. But I also know that when we chalk that up to a learning experience and if we can find value, in the lesson of the loss, we can win again.

I know that there are some people in the world who appear to be heartless, but they aren’t without a heart.  They are just without tolerance for some situations. I know that they are without emotion to certain circumstance. I know that deep down, their heart can be touched, because there is something that they love in life, and they just need to find out what that is. I know that your character is determined by how you treat people. I know that integrity is the highest trait one can possess.

Everyone is different, and should be respected for their differences. People process pain differently, they process life differently and what works for them, may not work for you. I know that all advice is not good advice. I know that Wisdom comes with age, and courage comes with challenges. I know that when we go to bat for the little guy, the big guy goes to bat for us. I know that almost doesn’t count, unless your shooting for second place. But we should always finish what we start.

I think strategy and execution are as important as planning. I think that following through on things in life, are the only way to accomplish goals. I know that setting goals are the first step toward achievement. I think I know that when it’s time to go to war, we must go prepared with confidence in ourselves. I know that in business, some bridges are meant to be burned, while others need rebuilding.

I have learned, that there’s nothing in the world that I cherish more than family. Thus, no matter where I’ve been in the world, there’s still no place like home. I know that it takes a good relationship with the creator, to get through each day, each week and each trial that life may throw your way. I know that being in the valley is necessary sometimes. I know that you can lose everything overnight. But I know that you can be blessed beyond measure, and earn it all back, 10-fold. I know that faith can move mountains. I believe in miracles. I know that you reap what you sow and that Karma is a b!$h.

I have learned that I can be a Realtor, a Business Owner, a Property Manager, A leading Leasing agent, A kick-A$$ Retail Manager, a Wife, A Super Single Mom, an Award-Winning Writer, A Screen Writer, a Published Author, a Best Mom Blogger, Mom Ambassador, Brand Influencer, and one hell of a Mother, all before 40! I know that this is still my season, and every second counts.