The Book of Dionne 1977: 20-23

I met a formidable man name Jesus. We quickly became friends the moment he told me that he was the son of GOD because who wouldn’t want to be friends with the son of GOD and all the Grace and Mercy that must come with having such a close and intimate relationship and opportunity to live and learn from the source, how-to walk-in favor. “Nice to meet you,” I said. “Search me, GOD and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting.” Psalms 139:23-24. “Come to me.” he said. “All you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden in light” Matthew 11:28-30. That is when I accepted him as my lord and savior.

As he walked with me through seasons, in and out of times where I felt weak and tired; he was my strength just as a friend should be. His loyalty to me never wavered and has often been demonstrated through his presence in those times of despair as well as celebratory moments where we together share the joy of life teaching me to “Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6

Having him as a friend has presented stark differences between the friends I once had in this world. He teaches me to walk away from conversations that involve hate and gossip in James 4:11. He teaches me to walk away from unnecessary drama through Proverbs 11:9. He demands that I walk away from the table and exit the room if respect is no longer being served in Exodus 23:1. He understands that I am a work in progress. “You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; 23 to be made new in the attitude of your minds; 24 and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. Ephesians 4:22-24

Yet, he never judges me, rather softly but swiftly corrects me when I am wrong. He never abandons me, rather shows up to comfort me when I am feeling down. He does not use me, abuse me, or try to control me- only advises and directs me on what he would do in situations like mine. He encourages me and His word is bond! He is my rock! The only thing he ever asked and wanted in return for me was to draw nearer to Thee and to walk worthy of my calling, to be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love, to make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. (Ephesians 4: 1-3)

I love the fact that his intentions are made clear what he wants from me, and he helps in getting me there while providing the necessities for the journey. IE: A coat in the winter, food during the famine, shade in the summer, protection from the rain, a foundation to stand on and he even has a secret tabernacle for me in times of trouble. Preach! Talk about being a protector and a provider!

He does not sidestep in discussions or gaslight issues; he always makes it clear with his words. He doesn’t walk out and leave me and slam the door on my decisions or give me the silent treatment when I do something he doesn’t like and he doesn’t retaliate against me by hurting me, rather he is always there for me when I suffer through the pain that comes from making decisions without allowing him to guide me through consistent principles and plans.

He wants to see me successful, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 and he contributes toward the goal of glorifying GOD through what we do together and what he does through me. He is not stingy with his resources. He is not withholding his knowledge and he fights for me. “The LORD shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace. The LORD will fight for you, and you have only to be silent. The LORD himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.” Exodus 14:14.

I am never in the dark about where we stand and what kind of a relationship we have. It’s not complicated, we aren’t in an entanglement, we aren’t friends with non-edifying benefits, we aren’t on a trial or under a 90-day rule, we aren’t “just kicking it” I am not an easy, late night booty call, I am not just another option for him,  we are not “just seeing where this can go.” I am not confused about who I am to him. I am not random. I am not just a homegirl. I am not someone on the side nor am I neglected and unprotected because Psalm 91:1 says Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

I am a decision. He loves me and I know this because he would lay down his life for me and his word says so. “There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” John 15:13. 

I love the mistic that embroils our relationship because it keeps it fresh and brand new every day to watch him make things happen that other people cannot explain. His ability to save me from things that could have taken my life. His ability to pull me through unexplainable terrors, his ability to put things into place when no one can understand how it all came together.

Throughout our journey together as friends, we have had times where I withdrew, isolated and simply did not want to talk or follow him to the places that he wanted me to follow him to. On occasion I would commit to going and would then back out in the final hour as I became ridden with anxiety and blinded by distractions. That is when he says to me to cast all your cares [all your anxieties, all your worries, and all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares about you [with deepest affection, and watches over you very carefully. 1 Peter 5-7.

I have not been as good a friend to Jesus in the past as he has been to me. At times, I called on him to ask for material things. But then, I was not always present and available when he needed me to do something for him. I was not consistent in my prayer for thankfulness nor in worship in happy times, but I was front and center requesting favor in those times. Even through this, he extended Grace. “For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in this present age.” Titus2:11-12.

Our relationship has been quite an intimate one, speaking often, sometimes early in the morning, late in the evening and during the midnight hour. He is always available to take my call and show up when I need a friend. When I feel far from him, he gives me Romans 8:38-39. When I feel as though I am in danger, he gives me Psalm 46:1. When I battle with temptation, he answers the call and gives me 1 Peter 5: 8-9. When I struggle financially, he sends me a bird with the message of Matthew 6:26. And most noticeably, when I need it to rain, he sends rain.

“The Lord will open the heavens, the storehouse of his bounty, to send rain on your land in season and to bless all the work of your hands. You will lend to many nations but will borrow from none. The Lord will make you the head, not the tail. If you pay attention to the commands of the Lord your God that I give you this day and carefully follow them, you will always be at the top, never at the bottom. Do not turn aside from any of the commands I give you today, to the right or to the left, following other gods and serving them. Deuteronomy 28:12-14

And for this, I will never walk away again. I will continue my journey, motivated and encouraged. I will be the friend to him that he has been to me and will give praise all day long, calling on the great I AM:

Jehovah Jireh: The Lord our provider

Jehovah Shalom: The Lord is my Peace.

Jehovah Rapha: The Lord who heals.Jehovah Nissi: The Lord is my banner, mighty, warrior, victory.

Long, Sweet and To The Point: Do Your Job with Gratitude

Concise! Make today count just because you can.

Get up. Shake the sleepy off. Have a cup of coffee or tea or a bottle of water and eat something if you are a breakfast and small snack in the morning type of person. Go to work and don’t just go but show up and be present and leave your bad day at home OR if you choose to ride to work with your bad day, leave it in the car or the parking lot but on the other side of that door to your office. By that I mean put on your happy face and here are the reasons why you should: Because you can, and others cannot. Some people want to, and they are not able to for one reason or another, either of which are reasons that hinder them from doing so whereas you clearly are physically able to get up and do it.

There is someone who would love to have your job. I am not talking about your co-worker who jumps on every opportunity to steal your ideas and make them their own for credit, promotion and accolades. I am not talking about your subordinate who is vying for your job everyday by pointing out your flaws and highlighting your inability to lead a team and follow through with an assignment or the one step you missed in following a procedure. I am also not talking about those within your organization who may want to see you lose your job so that they can pitch the position to their bestie and have them fill your shoes after your termination.

I am talking about that special someone who would be honored to do the work required to sit in your seat, stand in your spot and do the work that you complain about all day. They would love to have a job period; to go to and work diligently with joy, happiness, and gratefulness for being able to do so, so that they can support themselves and their family rather than be unemployed, actively, and desperately seeking work while counting pennies in the grocery line and having to make an executive decision over a jug of milk and a carton of eggs; steadily contemplating how they will make ends meet. There are people pondering their next move because they know an eviction is coming because they cannot afford rent.

There are those who are skipping meals because they only have about $2.50 per day to spend on food. They are the ones who cannot plan for a 7–10-day vacation because they are not secure in their finances to do so. They do not have half day Fridays, sick leave, FMLA, health/dental insurance and PTO. All the time they spend at home is unpaid, while their bills are adding up. They cannot afford a leisurely trip to the mall just to walk around or to the beach or to an event that only cost $5 because they do not have money for gas and they must figure in the cost for these small excursions just to get out of the house that you take for granted. When and if they must spend $10 to do something to brighten their day, they must weigh options and, in most cases, there are no options. These are people who cancel dates with friends because they cannot budget for an appetizer because their expenses are always going to be greater than their income because they have no job.

In rare cases, there are also people who are unable to secure work due to disabilities but anyone receiving disability knows it is not a lucrative lifestyle. It is no way to live. Prior to becoming disabled, they loved their job, and had it not been for them becoming disabled they would still do it. But then, they have encounters with those angry and upset individuals who complain about having to go to work, and while there, they treat customers like they do not matter; never stopping to be grateful that they have a job and are ABLE to go to work.

Meanwhile, you are at work angry about having to wake up early, find something to wear, deal with your hair, put on makeup, (which some of you don’t do anyway) get dressed, drive through traffic, get to work on time, see your co-workers, deal with people all day and simply DO YOUR JOB with a smile or at least not with a frown or attitude about doing it.

Perhaps you have been on your job so long that you have become comfortable enough with your tenure of unhappiness to keep the job until retirement but not happy enough about being happy to have the job? Move over then. Oh, you cannot? Because you have bills to pay? Do you have responsibilities? Do you enjoy your ability to afford the luxury of going out to a restaurant for dinner on Friday night instead of eating three-day old leftovers? Do you enjoy buying the occasional outfit with the shoes to match, getting your hair and nails done? You are all right knowing that if parking for a venue is $5, that’s minor change for you and something you can afford even though you might not want to- but you CAN. Then you should act like you want your job and you want to keep your job and be ecstatic about the fact that you still have your job and that you are one of the last people that the company will let go of when and if the need for layoffs to occur doesn’t affect you. 

If you are going to stay at the job, act brand new every day no matter the routine that you have become stuck in, shifting papers from one side of the desk to the other, crunching numbers, providing company reports, delegating responsibilities, supervising employees, training new recruits, attending that pointless conference meeting, having only one hour lunch for the lunch you can afford, making follow up phone calls, responding to customer complaints, answering customer questions, responding to emails, or whatever your responsibilities at work require. Do it with a smile. Do it with excitement. Do it with gratefulness and gratitude. Do it with kindness. Do not take out your frustrations with your routine job, the demands of your job, problems at home or the issues from yesterday out on the customer. Remember: Someone is at the unemployment office wishing they had a job. Someone disabled is at home scrambling for money and being turned down every day for the job that they are qualified for while you are treating it like you are entitled to have, while making a mess of it.

Here is the other problem.

Contrary to the news reports about unemployment being at an all-time low, people are still looking for and are out of work. And contrary to those news reports companies are not hiring and when they do, they are hiring unqualified individuals who left their job in fields that did not require a specific skill nor experience when cheap labor became a thing. I would like to blame COVID, but it was happening long before COVID. COVID seemed to heighten this trend. 

Companies are hiring people who will accept compensation well below the standard compensation for those positions/jobs because they know they are unskilled workers who are unaware of the standard/average pay for the position, they have no knowledge or experience and in return their performance is, at best, subpar. Companies are hiring bodies to fill positions, not experienced, qualified, professionals because they are looking for cheap labor and even though cheap labor comes at the cost of loss of business, mishaps, and complaints they still took the risk on you. At the very least, show up for the job you applied for and do it like you care because there is always cheaper labor standing in line and would love to have that opportunity.

You know it is true and you know if I am referring to you specifically. Favor got you that job. You should be happy that you have been given the opportunity to gain experience of a new skill, do a new thing, move out of that other job that made you cringe and realize that it was you who accepted the compensation and the opportunity when it was offered. You do not get to get on the job and realize you are underpaid, and the workload requires the work of two people, but you are barely putting food on the table with what they are paying you and then take it out on your customers or the company clients. Show up! Be willing because you can be, and you are able to.

A Mindset Thought: Instead of complaining about having no money left after paying all the bills, praise GOD that you had enough money to pay all the bills.

The She-Sheet as to why she is single. The architectural blueprint

I am not speaking for anyone else with this list and I warn you before reading that you are the one who asked me why I am single and / or why I am not dating. And I warn you, the list is long.

2. I have so many idiosyncrasies and most aren’t known until it happens. It often happens because its normal things people do, in which may not present a problem to others whereas I cringe. 

3. Stepping out of the shower with wet feet, I do not like it. I hate stepping on wet surfaces barefoot or with my socks on from water left behind by someone else.

4. Men peeing all around the toilet and on the floor when they use the restroom. At least clean it up before you leave my bathroom.

5. People who do not wash their hands often or at least before eating and after using the restroom.

6. Dirty nails – overgrown hair – no deodorant, musty, bad breath (typical hygiene and grooming things)

7. I do not like it when guys show up and do not present themselves in the best light: You asked me to come see you, but you open the door with a wife beater on, you need a hair cut and you are tipsy/drunk.

8. I do not like to be ASKED OUT to dinner/lunch and be expected to pay not only for myself but them too! Annoying AF!!

9. I do not like it when someone first gets my number in a business setting or as they see me busy and then immediately begin motor texting me about what I am doing or any type of conversation. Relax, give me a few hours to finish up unless we agree to speak immediately following our initial meeting or run in.

10. I am really annoyed when guys talk badly about their children’s mother. Work that out. Set some boundaries and make it happen.

11. I hate when guys meet me and immediately ask me to send them pictures of myself (excuse often used: so that they can add it to my contact) ok whatever.

12. I do not like to be called last minute for anything that takes more than a minute to prepare for (that speaks volumes about where I was on the choice to call list. 

13. I hate to be called late at night, followed with a text “are you awake?” Because if the call didn’t wake me, now the text will. 

14. I hate it when I have mentioned to someone that I am usually up late doing work and they take that as an invitation to call at all sorts of times through the night. 10pm-11-12am Buzz Kill for sure.

15. I generally don’t want to be on the phone talking for hours and hours. And if you call me, please be prepared to talk. I hate dead silence and rambling for conversation. Otherwise, you could have sent a text.

16. I don’t like when people, make plans for me that start after 8pm. (I don’t care if you have been at work) Unless it was planned for.

17. I really don’t like men who smoke cigarettes and black and mild. Cigars are ok. Don’t ask me why!

18. Don’t ask me my favorite food or what I would like to eat and then take me to the opposite. Just go there from the beginning.

19. I really despise the person who goes to the internet for their information about me (that’s not so much a problem as it is when they don’t tell me and act according to something they think they know) and get it ALL WRONG. Just be open, upfront… I don’t have secrets.

20. I do not like sharing food under any circumstances. Please do not eat off my plate. Please do not assume you will try my food when you order something else. Please do not order the family pack/portion for us to share a hot meal at a restaurant.

And these are most of the reasons that I am happily single and don’t mind. And there’s more. OH YOU THOUGHT WE WERE DONE

21. I hate when people make jokes about my idiosyncrasy while doing it. -EX: when I have already said I don’t like something, and you do it just to get a reaction out of me because you think it would be funny. You never know what someone’s trigger could be- just stick to the script.

22. I hate it when people stare at me and do not say anything.

23. I hate to be cut off in conversation/dialogue.

24. I hate non-active listeners.

25. I hate it when someone asks me out and does not have a plan on where we are going or what we are going to do.

26. Random facetime calls are annoying. Do not facetime me.

27. I get off work at 6, does not mean call me at 6 on the dot.

28. Don’t eat on the phone with me at all.

29. Always talking about same thing- every conversation (tony) IE: My house, my house, my maid, my renovation, my house, my stairs, my chandelier

30. I sleep in late most days since I am up late and when I inform someone, but they start texting and calling early in the morning. Leave me alone. Not trying to talk to you on your way to work.

31. People come to my house and help themselves to anything in my refrigerator. I mean, who raised you. Makingyourself at home does not mean this. It means sitting back and relaxing on the sofa, I will offer you something if I have it and if I want to offer it.

31. I send you a text with short info no need to replay, I hate when someone immediately calls me as soon as I send the text.

32. If I’ve never given you my address, never show up. That’s creepy AF

33. If you know my address and I’ve never given it to you, but you went through great lengths to find it, it’s creepy AF.

34. Never show up at my house without an invite ever. That’s reason to call the police.

35. Calling me within 20 minutes of meeting me is annoying AF! Especially when you met me in a setting where you saw that ai was conducting business. Do not motor text me (back to back to back) without getting a response from me in the middle there somewhere. Chances are, I’m busy and you’re being a nuance – such a turn off

36. I absolutely cringe when someone interrupts my workday when I’ve explained my work hours, and have no regard to my time or that I’m working for my living. I don’t date men who don’t value my time when they aren’t paying all of my bills

37. Do not call me when you have a million things going on in the background. That’s not phone etiquette. I can’t hear you and you probably can’t hear me. That’s how important details get missed.

38. Never invite yourself to my house. That’s my call and my call only! insisting on doing so before that time is creepy and weird and cause for a pause, because why??

If “I just don’t want to was a person” 🤣

If “it’s not you it’s me, was a person”😂

Normalize this! A petition to normalize and bring back these things

Hey moms… we are all adults here, right? Can we normalize not believing everything we hear and running with it?

When I was young someone shared with me the quote or expression, “Believe none of what you hear and only half of what you see.” This was long before the facades on the internet.

It made sense to me then even as a child and it made more sense to me as I grew older and began to understand that we should not be so fast to believe someone’s word when judging someone’s character.

The quandary with presuming everything we hear to be true is that you run the risk of obtaining your information from a non-credible source or the President and CEO of the hate-a-person fan club. That propaganda is then circulated and could tarnish an innocent person’s reputation. I personally know all this so well.

Many moons ago, I wrote and published an article with a well-known news outlet, where I particularized the time, I parted ways with an employer and how after-which the manager with that company began to deceitfully advise potential employers not to hire me amongst the tight-knit industry that I was once a part of. I elaborated on how I was unable to find and secure work in that industry for nearly 5 years before I was conclusively made aware by a hiring manager, that I was being defamed, slandered, and sabotaged. 

Another time, I was the victim of a false police report filed against me in which I spent years fighting to clear my name of but in the time that it took to do so, my reputation was tarnished without me ever having the opportunity to speak on my behalf about it. 

In another instance, The Greatest of the All -I was informed by one of my editors who was kind enough, brave enough and intellectually inclined enough to do her own thinking when she informed me that an attorney sent doctored up court documents and threats to our team to have me fired. Fortunately, their scarytactics didn’t work as she encouraged me to blog the entire ordeal instead so that I could vindicate myself. Rogue, right! But we don’t come across this kind of bravery every day in people who will fight for us, defend us, and give us an opportunity to tell our story… The True Story.

Can we normalize fact-checking if it’s something that we are interested in learning or knowing more about? Perhaps we could even go directly to the source when we have direct access, as my editor did.

Still today, I live with the menacing ideas that people harbored after hearing false information about me in both instances. I speak from experience when I stress how important it is to have a support system and how when you do not have one it will literally drive you to a dark place having nightly meetings with the committee in your head.

Normalize surrounding yourselves with like-minded, career-oriented, go-getters like yourself who are generally happy people with no desire to tear the next person down; but toinstead, empower and uplift one another. Applaud and celebrate your successes together rather than being envious or jealous.Speak edifying words about your friends and help promote positive interactions and development within your circle.

The last person any of us need is someone befriending us for the sake of divulging information and transporting that information back to someone they know we are not friends with over their gossip and wine session.

I heard a joke once: What do you call a group of broke people sitting around gossiping about someone? A non-profit organization. Be careful with what you share with people outside of the group of trusted people.

It’s important to trust your friends and the ones you share information with. Assure them that they can trust you also. When this bond is created inside and outside the workplace, in and out of the community, you form allies so when and if the time comes where you encounter a situation where someone is sabotaging you behind your back, you have friends who will stand up for you and at the very least, come to your defense of character.

I admire people who have lifelong friendships with people they can trust, who have always looked out for their best interest and supported them as well as encouraged them during good and badtimes.

These days, people have become bone collectors, traveling from one group or person to the next carrying bones. What does this do for a person? How does this behavior add value to their lives, I wonder sometimes. Are these people the ones who would otherwise have no friends unless they were showing up with the tea?

We’re older now and with that comes the responsibility of using discretion and being able to discern good from bad, truth from lies, fake from real and things as such. We’re too seasoned to be talking about what he said, and she said, continuing toperpetuate something we heard without any facts.

Normalize, making your life better instead of making someone else’s worse. 

Normalize being so concerned with making the world a better place that you have no time to keep up with destroying someone else.

Normalize reading 📖

Normalize thinking for yourself.

Bring honesty and the honor code/ honor system.

Bring back integrity.

Bring back the moral compass.

How do we end the Homeless Epidemic or at the very least, begin to end it when we are a part of the problem?

How do we end the homeless epidemic or at very least begin to end it, when we are a part of the greater problem of forcing people to become homeless; instead of being the solution by assisting in any capacity with preventative measures.

This article is not about handing out spare change to people you see on the street, volunteering at a shelter or donating clothes and food to those in need. While that is greatly needed (please don’t stop) and even more greatly appreciated as it plays a part in the starting process as individual contributions, we need the people in certain offices to do more than show up for work, look forward to their lunch hour, tell everyone NO in between and watch the clock until it’s time for them to punch out and go home.

It has always been my desire and somewhat of a calling to help others, specifically the homeless. About 15years ago I even wrote a business plan to build and operate a facility which would be called The Homeless Prevention, Rehabilitation and Transition Center.

The vision for this facility was to move the needle to end homelessness. One of the first goals were to address those who were on the brink of becoming homeless (prevention), and then to assist those who had recently become homeless (easier to transition back) and then address those who were homeless for any amount of time who may be suffering from Mental Illness (the rehabilitation center).

On all levels, the goal was to prevent, tackle and end the epidemic as we would transition homeless individuals and families back into a working society while providing resources that met their basic needs: housing, food, and shelter. Furthermore, providing counseling to those who were enduring mental illness and continuing to provide for those who were disabled and unable to work by giving them quality of lifeinstead of forcing them onto the street.

I’ve been on a 5-year investigative journey to discover the overall reasons as to how people on the streets of large metropolitan areas generally become/becamehomeless. (Including but not limited to Veterans) It’s a striking revelation that it’s MOSTLY due to the system literally failing these individuals and by forcing homelessness with their biases, their self-proposedtheories as to what they have or had as well as what they are or are not doing, opinionated reasons as to why they should not receive the help they deserve and calculating that into their determinations along with their unwillingness to assist those in need when they visit offices such as the social security administration (IE: just doing the most when it comes to prying into where every penny is received and if they find a measly documented $2.50 that an applicant received while they are determining an applicant’s eligibility, they quickly deny benefits or assistance.

Some people are homeless because they simply can not afford a place to stay with limited income.

Then you have people who will rebut this theory and say that no, it’s because they are strung out on drugs, lazy, didn’t spend their money wisely, unwilling to work when this is not the case on any of the 1289 studies I researched and observed. It’s so easy to pass judgement- please keep reading.

When people see homeless people under the freeway bridges and corners with their signs begging/asking for food/money with their missing teeth, dirty bodies, scary faces, and overgrown hair; what people fail to realize is that they weren’t born that way and they weren’t always on those corners. It took a string of events which got them there and it ended in their becoming homeless. Some missed a paycheck. Some were laid off. Some came back from war and were never right since their return and were denied by our great American system of their right to their benefits. Some had nowhere to go and no family to depend on. Some were never given a chance to start… so homelessness became not the solution, but the problem.

Being homeless subjects you to new set of circumstances such as the potential to be robbed, raped, stabbed, shot, murdered, gravely injured, being subjected to drugs, prostitution, and even trafficked while subjected to the elements (rain, freezing temperatures, heat waves, etc.) This creates fear! So,then they take on a new mentality as the need to survive by any means necessary drives their life. So now, they are the scary, erratic, desperate, dangerous,cracked-out unstable person we see when we drive by and lock our doors and roll up our windows and avoid them on sidewalks.

If you could remove your judgement as to why these people are and became homeless and ask yourself this question first: But why are they there? It may change your opinion and mindset.

Many of these individuals were once hard-working, contributing members of society. They paid their taxes just like you and me. They had insurance and took care of families. They had a job, and they had a plan. Some even went to colleges/universities and trade school where they earned a degree or a certification. And then… they fell on hard times. 

They were already living from check to check (because none of us are getting paid what we are worth) but nonetheless, they were making ends meet and did not need a handout. It took one to two missed checks due to lob loss, lay-offs and in some cases due to an injury that rendered them unable to work, where they were then disabled and unable to earn income. 

The effects of this cause them to encounter food insecurity, lose the ability to afford their means to survive such as gas, water, utilities and ultimately lose their home/apartment, have their car repossessed and ultimately become displaced by other means.

How many pay checks are you away from being homeless?

If you lost your ONE job (which most people only have) How many months/years would you be able to survive, pulling in zero income. 6 months? A year? I will be fair and say maybe 2 years if you are really doing good? (But we aren’t talking about millionaires here anyway. We are talking about working class people) When you have no income- you still have bills,so your debits exceed your credits – your withdrawals are more than your deposits… Basic math teaches us that this will run out eventually.

If you lost all strings of income due to an inability to work, (a disability) what would be your next step? You would find yourself at the footstep of certain offices asking for assistance. How would it make you feel to be told no; you don’t have the right to your disability check because someone gave you $20.00 last month?And to those making these decisions, how are you able to be so comfortable that this could not be you tomorrow when there is no security in any job.

Many disabled people are unable to secure employment because of their disability and they become homeless because they do not receive any disability check whatsoever.

Last thing: One case specifically- Someone who has worked and contributed to society for 25 years earning a lucrative income and the ability to afford clothes, food, shelter, monthly bills, and other necessities haslost their ability to work after a no-fault tragic car accident. Their world was gone in the wink of an eyeas the injuries suffered from the accident renderedthem unable to work. They applied for disability and during the years of being denied, they lost everything they had (savings, house, car and then, displaced) They finally received a disability after being deemed unable to secure work in a competitive work environment once diagnosed with PTSD, loss of use of their dominant arm, severe anxiety, an irreparable back and shoulder injury, chronic and major depression, nerve damage, ongoing stifling pain, a lifelong head injury where they suffer from debilitating migraines, sometimes even confused about where they are at any given point of time a driving risk and a litany of other things to include but not limited to being suicidal and at times homicidal.

Sidebar: I will insert my professional expertise here. I have a Realtor License. I also have two of the highest and most esteemed credentials and designations in property management and have worked for the largest property management company in the world, so I know a thing or two about the industry with my background being in Residential and Multi-Family Property management, sales, and leasing. That said….

This individual, now receiving $500/month for SSI Disability has only this to show as income when attempting to move from being homeless into an apartment. Where can you find a house or an apartment for $500 and qualify under the rental requirements of making 2 to 3.5 times the rent? Nowhere, except the housing authority who has a wait list from Texas to Canada. This causes homelessness.

Furthermore, even when you find an affordable place, (let’s say $1000) if you receive any help from family/friends, you still can’t pay for it because your SSI will be reduced by the amount that someone else has given you. SSI office will deduct from the $500any amount that you receive from family/friends etc., to make sure you never have more than $500/monthincome. So how do you eat? How do you afford bills? Now you’re displaced/homeless again.

To add insult to injury SSI doesn’t get approved if you don’t have an address but they do approve it when you have an address, but the amount they give you isn’t enough to pay for rent. It’s a catch 22.

This individual was told that they are not entitled to their back pay amount which would carry them through the end of their lease to pay their rent and to prevent eviction.

Their reason: Because this person shouldn’t have moved into a place that cost more than $500 in the first place. My question is: If SSI backpay can not be used to pay for rent, what can it be used for? Hair, nails, lobster? Oh yea, all the things that society will then condemn them for paying for while being on assistance.. This subject was advised that they would first have to be evicted before they could request an advancement on their backpay.

Inserting my expertise: Not paying rent will start the process of being evicted. Before an eviction is filed, late fees will be accrued first. Once it is filed, filing fees are then added into the amount due. Once those fees are added, attorney fees are then added bringingthe total to almost twice the amount of rent. Now this individual could have prevented all this from occurring if SSI would give them access to their back pay. When they don’t, and they wait for the eviction to give thembackpay, this person is now using twice the amount of money to keep their home which will cause another setback thus rendering them homeless. Moreover, you destroy their ability to secure a residence now with an eviction on their record. This is a set up for homelessness to begin!

Make this make sense. So the next time you step over that homeless person on the sidewalk or wish the light turns green fast enough for you to not be stopped in front of a homeless person as well as the next time you look down on someone who receives welfare, food stamps etc.… government assistance, stuck in what we call the “projects” these days, you should get insight on their situation before you judge them.

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The remanence of Trauma, from the accident

You’d think the greatest trauma would come from the actual injuries incurred in the accident, or maybe even seeing your life flash before your eyes as you suddenly and helplessly became the ball, in a mean game of ping-pong played with cars, on a heavily trafficked interstate in a downpour of cold rain, during one of the most traveled weekends of the year; when hit from the side, front and back. Could it be that you tragically witnessed and painfully felt the accident approaching your passenger side door as you frantically tried to escape it, to no avail you braced the first hit, notwithstanding the second, and the third was most brutal as the guardrail was now your final stop that just barely embraced you from taking a dive over, traveling down a 100 foot decline…. Where your life would end completely. That would definitely do it.

Maybe the trauma really is from the injuries, including but not limited to: Concussion and post concussion syndrome; diagnosed by your doctor and your neurologist….. and how that had impacted your ability to function on a daily basis and to function at work – the fog brain, the forgetfulness, the frustration of not being able to concentrate or to speak clearly or think clearly… the inability to do simple math or answer questions at work or deal with your normal day to day – and you can’t even remember how to get to work or home from work on certain days because you found yourself lost and confused and very much discombobulated due to the concussion and post concussion syndrome. Minutes lost as you’d sit in random parking lots trying to remember where you were suppose to be going (oh!! Back to work!)

Maybe it was the prolonged migraines and headaches 4-5 times a week, lasting 8-12 hours that you suffer from and all these things greatly affect your ability to even enjoy the things you have done before, such as; WRITE and even read on occasion. Run simple errands to get necessary items- engage with friend. Your livelihood is fractured.

Maybe, just maybe it’s the PTSD you suffer from all that and now, the stress related to the nightmares of the accident replaying, over and over in my head throughout the day as well as when I sleep- waking up crying- emotionally out of control all day dealing with the increased, severe anxiety and panic attacks now while driving even a short distance from the house and how dangerous that is to happen while attempting to run daily errands- the over bearing fear of being in traffic on a crowded highway which limits your ability to get to and from work!

Nah! Maybe it’s the pains – the body aches from the High Grade rotor cuff tear which limits range of motion in my right arm and requires surgery, and makes it extremely hard to lift arm much less reach above the head- the 3 herniated disc at the C4, C5 & C6 of my neck which causes sharp, bleeding pains down your neck, shoulders, arms and back when walking, standing, sitting, lifting and even laying. The tingling feeling of pins jabbing you down the length of your arm falling into your numb hands where you can’t even make a fist. Oh boy, does the pain run deep. Daily chores have become a challenge because you live alone. You cut 15 inches of your hair off, to make it easier to manage by yourself. You limit yourself to taking one trip a week- as a way to cope and deal with the panic and anxiety of leaving the house- your life has changed! Taking clothes out the washer to put in dryer or out of the dryer to the couch to fold, has become taxing. Washing dishes can be a challenge. Oh! And you’re right handed, so because the right arm is injured- all this is too much. Even writing for longer than a few seconds causes pain. You haven’t found any meds to manage this pain. You get no sleep. The insomnia is unreal. You’re afraid to sleep because when you do, you’re haunted by the nightmares. the crash! The crash! The crash!

Nah! The trauma comes from the Insurance company whom you now have to deal with and prove all of this to despite the MRI, The Orthopedic Diagnosis, the X-Rays, the PCP Diagnosis and the Neurologist Diagnosis and findings. And you have to deal with them whilst dealing with the aforementioned. It doesn’t make it any easier- because when it’s time for them to acknowledge- YOU; the paying insured person, they look for every loophole they can find to prevent covering your totaled car, covering your healthcare cost and taking care of damages…. At the same time they expect you to continue to keep your coverage current without any questions. Whenever it’s time for their bill to be paid, there are never any questions from them about where were you headed when the accident happened, where were you living at the time the accident occurred, why were you driving that car at the time, did you always drive that car, etc. what a real nightmare. This is actually where the trauma manifest and dwells: the got damn insurance company.

And now .. you can’t do the “normal work” that would continue your normal life- So you try to deal with it and the slew of trouble it brings to your ability to get up, go, get, find and be…… that doesn’t mean the trauma isn’t real. It makes it even more real.

How do you manage

Planning, greatly reduces anxiety. Implementation of a plan is how many people with anxiety manage their anxiety. When dealing with people who have a warped perception or lack of understanding of what anxiety is, they expect you to jump on last minute, impromptu plans and perform “normal” Not only do they expect you to be “normal” but they criticize you when you’re not and they become upset with you when you’re not. Ultimately, this expectation and response then increases the anxiety for the one who experiences it.

https://www.nm.org/healthbeat/healthy-tips/emotional-health/the-science-of-anxiety

https://www.nm.org/healthbeat/healthy-tips/emotional-health/the-science-of-anxietyScience of anxiety

Reading is fundamental and is the foundation to education.

https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/recognizing-and-easing-the-physical-symptoms-of-anxiety

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/anxiety/symptoms-causes/syc-20350961

Salad always wins

When all else fails, there’s lettuce. A wedge salad is the cure to your lunchtime indecisiveness …. Cut the head of lettuce into fours. Place one on your plate! I topped mine with a Mediterranean feta, buttermilk ranch and bacon bits.

Inspiration for the last day of July #MentalHealth

“Mental health needs a great deal of attention. It’s the final taboo and it needs to be faced and dealt with.” — Adam Ant

“I am not afraid of storms for I am learning how to sail my ship.” — Amy March, from Little Women

“Take a deep breath to remember you are the child who lived through survival mode and the empowered adult who chose their healing.” — Dr. Nicole LePera

“What mental health needs is more sunlight, more candor, and more unashamed conversation.” — Glenn Close

“Anyone can be affected, despite their level of success or their place on the food chain. In fact, there is a good chance you know someone who is struggling with it since nearly 20% of American adults face some form of mental illness in their lifetime. So why aren’t we talking about it?” — Kristen Bell