Lifestyle, Relationships, Uncategorized

What I learned In My 30’s And What I Think I Know, Now That I am Almost 40

I know that on September 18th, I will turn 40 years old. I know that I only get one second to be 40 years old, and that puts into perspective, the fact that regardless of if you chose to remain still and frozen in time, life goes on. This means, Time and The Tide waits for no man, and if we want something, we must go get it.

We get older by the second, arguably, the Nano second, but nonetheless, we are not getting any younger. I know that responsibilities in some areas increase, as age and maturity requires more of an adult mindset. Your life is a series of seconds that you do not get to rewind. Spend them wisely, seizing moments and opportunities.

I think I know that life is short, and tomorrow is not promised to anyone. However, we make plans, with the expectations that we will be present, in life, when the time comes.

I know that we waste a lot of time in our youth and young adult life, trying to figure out what we are going to do after 40.

I think I know that we should be conscious of the decisions to whom and what, we give our time, trust, love, respect and honor. I’ve learned that good friends are hard to find, and worth fighting for. I’ve learned that if someone wants to be in your life, they will try to do so. I’ve learned that if you know your value, no one can make you feel worthless. I’ve learned how much weight that accountability holds and how much respect an apology can earn. I’ve learned that people who want your attention, will give you theirs and people who want to see you happy, will never forget about the things that make you happy. I’ve learned that people who respect you, will not waste your time.

I know that mistakes are inevitable and bad decisions can cost you your life or at least a portion of it. I know that people make mistakes, and life is better when you forgive- because grudges are heavy. But I also know that forgetting is not promised with forgiveness, nor should it be.

I know that change comes to those who seek it. I know that you should wake up with the urge and desire to live, to live a full life, if you don’t want to just exist in life. I know that everyone has a purpose, regardless of if they have figured out what it is.

I know that it’s important to remain grounded and humble. I think I know that it is important to have a staunch support system, and to be surrounded by people who love you sincerely and genuinely want you to win. I think it’s important to know that some people are not fans or supporters and it’s important to be able to discern, when disclosing intimate details of our life.

I think that it’s important to know when to walk away from toxic relationships, jobs, things, habits and old ways that have stifled our growth. I know that it’s imperative to recognize early warning signs of a catastrophe ahead, to avoid pitfalls in life. I know that if we pay attention to those signs, and adhere to the warning, we would have a much easier life. I know that I heard the phrase, “It may not be easy, but it will be worth it” a thousand times in my 30’s, but I can’t help but to think if it was worth 10 years of my life. We should use discretion, when adopting such statements to live by.

My entire 30’s was spent, learning lessons… repeat lessons- lessons I shouldn’t have had to repeat. But, I know it is because I never got the lesson the first time. It was also spent loving on a child, the love of my life, in ways I never imagined I could. That’s called taking the bitter with the sweet. I know that children add a rare ingredient to life, somewhat of a delicacy.

I know that it hurts sometimes and it’s unbearable. I know that things happen in due time, and that they happen for a reason. I know that some days are harder than others. I know that sometimes, the mission is just to make it out of the bed, and out of the house for a few hours to see that the sun is still shining.

I know that there is and was a range of emotions that come along with making life-altering decisions. I know that in the end, if we use what we have, head and heart combined that we can make the best possible decision. I know that decisions come with hefty price tags. I know that our choices should be rooted in the better investment.

I know that some days are filled with crying and trying to adjust to a new life, or break free from the bondage of an old life. But, I know that tears don’t always represent pain. Sometimes they are stitched and woven from overwhelming joy and happiness. I know that love will find you, no matter where you hide, so long as you leave the light on.

I know that to move on in life, you must let go of the things weighing you down. I know that choices are hard to make when it comes to letting go of things that you thought were real; in work, relationships, opportunities, businesses, endeavors, etc. I know that dreams are sometimes visions to the dreamer. I know that you must have a vision and a mission to excel and succeed.

I know that life is full of ups and downs, left punch, right punch, curve balls and sneak sacs. I know that every time we run the ball, we will not score and every time we get the ball on a fast break, we won’t make the shot. But I also know that when we chalk that up to a learning experience and if we can find value, in the lesson of the loss, we can win again.

I know that there are some people in the world who appear to be heartless, but they aren’t without a heart.  They are just without tolerance for some situations. I know that they are without emotion to certain circumstance. I know that deep down, their heart can be touched, because there is something that they love in life, and they just need to find out what that is. I know that your character is determined by how you treat people. I know that integrity is the highest trait one can possess.

Everyone is different, and should be respected for their differences. People process pain differently, they process life differently and what works for them, may not work for you. I know that all advice is not good advice. I know that Wisdom comes with age, and courage comes with challenges. I know that when we go to bat for the little guy, the big guy goes to bat for us. I know that almost doesn’t count, unless your shooting for second place. But we should always finish what we start.

I think strategy and execution are as important as planning. I think that following through on things in life, are the only way to accomplish goals. I know that setting goals are the first step toward achievement. I think I know that when it’s time to go to war, we must go prepared with confidence in ourselves. I know that in business, some bridges are meant to be burned, while others need rebuilding.

I have learned, that there’s nothing in the world that I cherish more than family. Thus, no matter where I’ve been in the world, there’s still no place like home. I know that it takes a good relationship with the creator, to get through each day, each week and each trial that life may throw your way. I know that being in the valley is necessary sometimes. I know that you can lose everything overnight. But I know that you can be blessed beyond measure, and earn it all back, 10-fold. I know that faith can move mountains. I believe in miracles. I know that you reap what you sow and that Karma is a b!$h.

I have learned that I can be a Realtor, a Business Owner, a Property Manager, A leading Leasing agent, A kick-A$$ Retail Manager, a Wife, A Super Single Mom, an Award-Winning Writer, A Screen Writer, a Published Author, a Best Mom Blogger, Mom Ambassador, Brand Influencer, and one hell of a Mother, all before 40! I know that this is still my season, and every second counts.

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Lifestyle, Parenting, Relationships, Travel, Uncategorized

6 Things A Writer Is More Than Likely To Have With Them At All Times

Note Pad / Journal and Pen: As a writer, I can attest to the fact that sometimes thoughts will hit you while standing in the crowded line at the neighborhood grocery store, while purchasing Broccoli for the evening, to cook along with fried corn and steak. Your inspiration can come from anything as small as seeing a toddler crying in the store, a customer dispute with the store manager, to the smell and aroma that’s chasing you down from the deli, all the way to the car that almost hit you, as you were leaving the store. People always ask me, where does my inspiration and ideas come from.

It’s really this simple: I am already inspired to write, I remain in a constant state of being inspired to write, because I love the art of expression. The only way that I know how to do that, is through writing. My ideas come from anywhere and from anything. Every day, there’s a story to be written. I keep my note pad ready for those moments. I jot down ideas as they come and even if they don’t make the final cut, I don’t throw them away. I save them, and often find myself back on that page, building from that thought when and if have a momentary block. I have been known to pull off the road, just to write an idea down or to complete notes and bullet points I want to cover once I begin to write about it.

Camera: They say pictures are worth a thousand words. I think they meant to say, photos can be worth a million bucks. Because sometimes that “money shot” is real! Aside from being in the right place at the right time and having the once or twice in a lifetime opportunity to be the author behind that money shot, having a camera allows you to capture moments that you will never be able to reproduce. That may be your child swinging on the swing, taking a leap into mid-air and landing on his feet. It could be your child taking on the monkey bars, backwards or making rocks jump across the lake. It could be spare of the moment, candid photos that will last a lifetime, in which you can share with readers, who are then able to see the event that you attended, as something worth attending for themselves next year.

It may be at an outing, where you’re having the time of your life and you want to share it the next day, but words could never describe the fabulous time that you had, whereas a photo, nails it. Candid photos also make great talking points and writing prompts. You can present a photo and ask readers to give you their rendition or version of events of what transpired that evening. In this, comes inspiration, because everyone’s answer may be different, and it may spark an entirely different article or blog post for you. Plus, it increases engagement.

A Snack: Because we all like a little protein snack while we are on the go. Truth is, while we are fed very well at events, sometimes we find ourselves talking the entire time and forget to eat. Between events, especially when you get to the point that you schedule yourself for 2-3 different appearances or editorial assignment, which are happening back to back, you don’t have time to stop for food. The lines are too long at the drive thru’, the traffic is too thick to get off the freeway and chance being late or even a no show, so you need to have something in your purse that will carry you from point A to point B.

Plus, it’s an excellent idea anyway to have an extra pick me up to rejuvenate yourself, refresh and hit the reset button before arriving at the next event. As a writer, you may end up at the park a little longer than planned because you found something inspiring to write about, after meeting a mommy of 6, who’s recently widowed or divorced, who just made a move to the city. And because you don’t want to interrupt that stream of thought, behind your belly rumbling, you will tank yourself that you had something right there to snack on. People always ask about writer’s block, and while I have only experienced it once or twice in the last 10 years, I can say that the reason I don’t deal with it now is because I never stop writing. My thoughts lead me. If something says write, right now, I don’t put it off.

Calendar/ Planner: Keeping a calendar and planner keeps you on point. It prevents you from double booking yourself at an event, or for any programs, tours, conferences or workshops that you have a desire to attend and take part in. If you have reached out to tourism bureaus and PR companies about events, it’s an innovative idea to write it down immediately, upon approval to attend, so that; Number 1. You don’t forget, and number 2. You don’t end up somewhere else, when you should have been at the event you obligated yourself to. A calendar and planner keeps you organized and if writing/ blogging is what you want to do, organization is a must when it comes to attending events or taking on press trips and Editorial assignments.

Plus, it puts things into perspective to where you’re able to see deadlines, to make good on your promise to companies to provide them with reviews and or ratings of their product and or services. It helps you plan accordingly, not to take on too much. You do not want to tarnish your rep, by forgetting or not delivering in a timely or promise, because the competition is thick. There are other writers out there waiting in the wing for an opportunity like that. Don’t mess it up, by not having logged it from the jump. Forgetting does not send the message that you take their brand serious or that you’re responsible enough to handle an assignment.

Cell Phone /Recorder: This is because sometimes it is not as convenient to pull off the road and jot things down. You may also be in a position where it’s better to record your own thoughts and ideas, versus writing them down for later review and consideration of a topic to write about. You can use a recorder as a sounding board Listening to yourself helps to break even with what deserves a title and what goes on the back-burner for a later date.

As a writer, there’s also many opportunities that may arise where you have either planned to interview someone or the impromptu opportunity arises, and you always want to be prepared! Cell phones also offer the option of easy posting. If you have something that is worth sharing in the moment, whether it’s in conclusive with an all-out article / post or the picture that’s worth a thousand words to let your audience to #StayTuned, A cell phone with wi-fi capabilities will help you achieve this.

Tablet/Laptop: There comes a time when you spend countless hours at your local coffee shop or lounge, conveniently located at the entrance of your subdivision; where all the notes that you’ve kept on your recorder or the notes that you’ve jotted down all week, in your journal will need to be transferred or transcribed into a post.

Everything you have done all week to accumulate thoughts and ideas, will not be front and center, ready for a place on your writing list. Is it a book, a chapter a book, an outline, a post, a blog, an article, a thought that will inspire an outline for a story? Whatever it is, you now are face to face with your tablet or laptop and it’s time to get to writing. What are you waiting for?