Lifestyle, Parenting, Relationships, Uncategorized

Give The Children What They Need, And Put A Little Something Extra In Your Child’s Lunchbox – It’s Time To Go Back-To-School

Image result for food productsA portion of my summer, was spent doing product trials with my child, to determine some of the best items to add to a kid’s lunchbox, or snack bag when school began again. And now that the time is upon us, I am confident that I will not have to be on the receiving end of the teachers concerned phone call or little handwritten note, to tell me that my child “seems to still be hungry, after lunch.”

Imagine how I felt, momentarily… that one time in April, when my child’s teacher reached out to me, via text, to give me a “heads-up.” She said that my child doesn’t appear to be getting enough to eat, and seems hungry. First thought, wow- I have been paying child support and my child does not have lunch? Second thought, who’s packing my child lunch and why were they not giving him enough? Third thought, dads claim to fame is how much money he makes, certainly he can afford to pack a healthy, hearty and wholesome snack and lunch for our son.

Ok, so then I calmed to a normal pace, to avoid jumping to conclusions and to try to understand what was going on. I got a little emotional, because I wanted to advise my sons dad of what the teacher said, as well as, to ask the appropriate questions regarding my child nutrition. However, due to the nature of our relationship being what it is, I walk on egg shells with what I say, out of concerns about how he will take it. For instance: Will he think I am taking jabs at him? Will he think that I am saying that he is not winning at parenting, if I relate this concern?

I paused, to allow the anxiety to subside, and to truly look at the situation, as one that could be an easy fix. Especially with the bottom line being, IT NEEDS TO BE FIXED, and I have no time to sugar-coat anything. I 86’d the above questions and I emailed him. I offered my assistance to find amazing snack ideas, if he had been too busy to do so himself. I offered to price them at three different stores that was near his home, to make shopping easier and most affordable for him. I offered to make the list for Monday-Friday, on what should be packed each day, where to get it and how much it would cost. While my proposal wasn’t accepted prior to the summer beginning, and before school ended; I will be pitching it again this week, in hopes that going forward, it will.

So, anyway, over the summer, during my quest to find something, I came across the following:

Black Forest Gummy Bears

Black Forest Organic Gummy Bears: “America’s Best Tasting Gummy Bears! Black Forest Organic Gummy Bears are made with thoughtful ingredients like lemon juice, organic cane sugar, potato starch, carrot and beet juice. These lovable little Gummy Bears are made with love and feature a taste YOU WILL LOVE. Every bag includes cherry, orange, lemon, apple and pineapple flavors. USDA Certified Organic. Gluten Free.” (http://www.blackforestusa.com/products/)

Image result for clifbar

CLIF Kids Zbar: “CLIF Kid Zbar® is an organic, baked whole grain energy snack, made with a blend of carbohydrates, fiber, protein, and fat to give kids energy so they can keep zipping and zooming along. Our products never include high fructose corn syrup or artificial flavors.” (http://www.clifbar.com/products/clif-kid/zbar)

SunButter

SunButter: With nearly three pounds of shelled, roasted sunflower seeds in each jar, SunButter has 7 grams of protein per serving, and it has more vitamins and minerals than nut butter. SunButter provides 45% of the US recommended daily allowance for Vitamin E with no trans-fat and less saturated fat than the leading brand of almond butter.

SunButter is free from the top 8 food allergens: peanuts, tree nuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, and crustacean shellfish. SunButter is also free from Canada’s ten priority food allergens, which include mustard, sulfites, and sesame.

SunButter is made in the US from locally-grown, specially-roasted sunflower seeds, which are processed in our dedicated peanut free and tree nut free facility. Our sunflower seeds are grown in a region of the country where peanuts are not grown, eliminating the risk of cross contamination. SunButter is vegetarian, vegan, gluten free, non-GMO, and certified kosher.

This is not an ad for the companies above. I am sincerely recommending these products, because I have tried them for myself, and because I got the stamp pf approval, from my First-grader. The good thing is, these snacks don’t just work for the kids, they make great on-the-go snacks for the working mother.

Double check the lunch box, making sure that your child has something filling, and of nutritional value. Moms, I am not the mom Nazi! However, sometimes we just need reminders, from other moms who may have heard a suggestion or two from a teacher… and before hearing it in a less than sensitive memo, I am giving you the heads up.

Unfortunately, I won’t get to be the one who packs my child’s lunch box, to ensure that it is done with a lot of extra love to fill his belly. But it is with all my heart, that I hope he’s getting all he needs from it, when it’s time.

Here’s the perfect starter guide:

Fresh fruit.

Crunchy vegetables.

A meat or protein food such as slices of lean meat, hardboiled egg, peanut butter or nut paste*

Dairy food such as a cheese stick or slice, grated cheese, milk or yoghurt.

Starchy food such as bread, a roll, pita or flat bread, fruit bread or crackers.

Water.

Article Originally published HERE, at Working Mother

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Lifestyle, Parenting, Relationships, Travel

5 Ways My Life Has Changed, Since My Son Has Been Living With His Dad: The Pros And The Cons

  1. My schedule is random unless my is visiting on the weekend. When he’s home with me, I provide the stability and the structure as well as discipline that he needs, by following a schedule to keep him on track with bed time, dinner, breakfast, play time, reading etc. It was a schedule that I implemented for him long before he was living with his dad. Now that he’s gone, I sleep in, I eat out, I cook less, and I eat whenever and whatever I want. I take longer naps, make runs to the store at any time throughout the day, no matter how late. I can travel more if I’d like to and not worrying about who would take him to school and pick him up, or even the fact that he would have to miss school. I can take last minute media assignments, make last minute plans, and spare of the moment trips out of town/ in town or even out of the country. Overall, I have free time to pursue many endeavors.
  2. Anxiety: For a while, I had my anxiety under control. I did not experience anxiety on this level at all, prior to having a child. It was not until my child was taken from me, over an accusation, proven to be false; which left me in such a helpless and anxious place. It was because I could not help my child. I could not do anything to give him what he asked for, which was to stay with me. That is when I began to experience anxiety again. The decision on who he would live with, did not rest in my authority. It was not in my hands and no one asked my son where he wanted to be. The reason the anxiety heightened and escalated to the place where I am today, is because over the last 4-years, I became aware of things that were taking place, when my son was not in my care and after hearing so many things, it caused my anxieties to soar through the roof. While most of this, is a thing of the past, it was traumatic for me, and I still live with it, constantly finding ways to cope; reposing in the assurance that everything happens for a reason, and I have seen some of the advantages and blessings come out of it all.

“Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.” ― Mother Teresa

  1. Parks will never be the same: One of my son and I favorite pastime was to go to the park. We discovered just about every park there was, in the city. We settled on two, to call own, which were closest to the house. I spent many flex-days there with him and while he would play, I caught a spot under the tree. Today, it’s hard to drive by those parks. It’s hard to sit in those parks, work out, run around or walk around those trails. It’s a real challenge to be there, if other children are there. I have been in a place, where I couldn’t watch the other kids play, without breaking down. Though I am getting better with regards to seeing other children, I have yet to overcome the anxieties of going to those parks without my Bambino. When I do have him, we still make the most of our time. I found another park to create memories at, until the time comes…
  2. Insomnia: In other words, I cannot sleep at night…. Literally. (due to the anxiety) At times, I have been up 48 hours straight. That had a lot to do with the anxieties as well. Constantly worrying about where my kid was, who he was with and if he was OK. I had been fed some things by the Amicus on our case, in which she thought to be disturbing. Naturally, it disturbed me at that point as well. For 4 years of constantly hearing more and more, I was finding that my nights were getting longer and longer. Time passed like molasses. I would lay down with every intention of sleeping, but couldn’t make it happen. Still, to this very day, I have nightmares, terrible dreams that wake me from my sleep, where I fall to the floor and pray that my child is OK. He may be doing terrific! And that’s what I hope, but until I can get over the thought of anything happening to him, I will be woke.
  1. I have more Me Time: Me time has showed to be my best friend. It’s A time to get back to me, and focus on improvement. There’s always room for improvement, right? And since I do have severe anxiety and insomnia, it gives me the opportunity to work on getting myself back to a place, where I am rested, refreshed and refined. It allows me the time I need to “talk” about why I can sleep, why I have so much anxiety, why I stopped traveling as much, why I don’t leave the house as much, why I can’t sit in the park and watch other children play, or why I cannot do anything about what has transpired, but that I can find ways to cope with it. Me Time, gives me the space and time I need to do my make up again, do my hair again, celebrate myself again, in all that I do. Me Time helps me get back to the business of this empire and to pamper myself, heart, mind, body and soul. Me Time has encouraged me to get out of the house and to get active in the world again.

Article Originally posted Here, On Working Mother

Lifestyle, Parenting, Relationships

What Makes This Mother’s Day As Special As It Was The Last Six Years

What Makes This Mother’s Day As Special As It Was The Last Six Years

Throwback Thursday, I am in my closet, rummaging through some things and I found a Mother’s Day card that my son made for me last year. I had it hung up on our bedroom wall, until a few weeks ago when I decided to move out of our home. I came to it, while searching through a bag for something else, altogether. I stopped to reflect on the hand print that was within one of the cards, that he documented with finger paint. There was another one where he wrote, “I LOVE YOU” But, Love was in sign-language. On the inside, a special note: Happy Mother’s Day.

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I paused, yielding to a few tears of joy… lending my heart to some more than welcomed memories and thoughts that flickered through my mind, followed by revelations, of how I blessed I am to have someone call me MOM. It is such a wonderfully incredible and indescribable feeling all at once. What an Awe-Amazing place to be at 4 months before I turn 40! I am Mother. I am still Mother. And why in the world am I crying right now? LOL…. Those emotions are something that comes with being a mom. In fact, my best friend witnessed me cry once and I was 34 years old then… He starred at me, without saying a word. Then he finally said, I am trying to figure out what to say, because I have never seen you cry. LOL…. Anyway, in this most precious and beautiful moment of seeing these cards, feelings of joy rush in.

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So, when people ask the question, what do I want for Mother’s Day, I am still stuck in such a place, where my answer is, I already got it. My child. What do you give a woman who has everything she wants and everything she needs, loves and desires, whereas the answer is simply, love, love, love and love? I get it, and I understand that the entire world does not revolve around the happiness and joy that my son brings to me and that some people might argue that it could be unhealthy …. Please understand that I am truly just speaking about the overflowing love I have for my son and the gratefulness that I show to my creator for making it possible. I realize that a woman can find love and joy in many other things…but hey, for the record… I got that covered too – and everything is all good. But I am talking about the bean-misters right now. I don’t praise him, I just love him.

The last 3.5 years have been extremely bumpy…where my child was concerned, as his father and I, were in and out of court of some of the pettiest things you could ever think a pompous narcissistic and controlling father could do to the mother of his child. A 4-year cycle of erroneous motion after erroneous motion, which his father filed, almost made me throw in the towel.  However, when I look back on the fight that I put up, to save my son, I have no regrets. When I look back and see that I truly still came out on top- I am even more thankful that I could have had that kind of love in my heart to go as far as I did for my child. To look at him, is to see a reflection of me… and to know that it was all in the name of love, love, love love, and so, it was all worth it. Love is a language that stretches across barriers, breaking levies, steering through mountains, trudging through treacherous paths and untrodden territory; by which is only understood by people who have experienced motherhood… and people who have experiences true love, and for those who know what unconditional love is.

I was made for this. It only strengthened me and encouraged me, to be strong and to be here for my son. The struggle…It helped me survive. The sleepless nights…they are still here, and from what I hear, they will always be here, so long as I am a loving mother. With that, I rest in knowing that it’s only because I care so much and because I love him so much, that I want to make sure that he is ok, wherever he is and with every breath he takes.

I am happy today. I am happy knowing that I survived some of the worst times of my life. I survived some of the most devastating and heart breaking news, but I am still a Mother and I still have my child and that is the best Mother’s Day gift I could possibly ask for. When someone loves my child, and someone cares for my child and shows a vested interest in his well-being, that is the best gift I could receive as a mother. When someone ask, how my child is doing, and they call him by name or have been around long enough to know the nicknames I have given him (Prince Cornelius, Bambino, Bam-Bam) it makes me feel good all over again. When my friends ask, how’s Lil’ C doing, how’s Big C doing… my heart melts.

It is a pleasure and an honor to have been commissioned with the task of being a Mother. It is a Pleasure and an honor to have been assigned to this little boy. I could not imagine life without him. Even when I think about how much easier it would be, I reflect on the wonderful times we have shared over the years…I think of all the times that he has made me laugh, all the times he made me think outside the box, overcome some of my own fears as well as the times that he made me realize how much he needed me to survive….and nothing, not even peace, could replace that. I live for the chaos that the four- foot tornado brings. And though I cry a lot behind some of the things he does, this is my first stab at this parenting thing, so I can only imagine what he’s going through, taking his first stab at this co-parenting thing…So I have loosened the reigns a little. But what he doesn’t know is, my grip isn’t on the reign anyway. It’s on GOD, and GOD’s promises, to protect him, guide him and keep him safe. I am so fortunate. I am so thankful. And I am so blessed, to be celebrating my 7th Mother’s Day, as the mother to Deon Cornelius Kenny, AKA, Prince Cornelius …. Bam-Bam …My Bambino!

Lifestyle, Parenting, Relationships, Uncategorized

Good Sportsmanship Should Be Practiced On And Off The Field

Not too long ago, in fact, about a week or so, I wrote about being prepared for the Little League, by getting it all together at the Pee Wee, Coach Pitch Baseball game. I attended my son’s first practice/training/baseball game with i9 Sports. After-which, he was chosen to receive a value, recognition award. I was impressed that my son walked away with a medal to wear around his neck, to remind him of what happens, when he does good. He was also rewarded with a yard sign, to display his achievement. That also came along with some cool coupons for local use, for his efforts in practicing “good listening” and sportsmanship at his first practice/game.

From week to week, the little ones will have an opportunity to earn a different medal of honor, of Pee Wee Sportsmanship Value, from i9Sports. It was very encouraging to see that another group of people, outside of his family, vested so much in trying to make all the little ones feel good and do better. I overheard the coaches on many occasions at the practice, motivating all the children, while diligently teaching them the how to play and succeed at the game.

Sportsmanship

There are many ways to practice good sportsmanship toward your team and your opponents. It’s “Fair and generous behavior or treatment of others.”

I was overwhelmed by the friendly hospitality that the coaches, the children, and the parents displayed and shower to one another, including myself; extending greetings and making everyone feel included. It truly felt like a family orientated outing, where everyone already knew one another other to attending the game. It was important to me, as a mom, that everyone there, coaches included; would set good examples for the behavior that they expected from the little ones. Meaning, practicing what they were teaching and leading by example, and to be the example of what a team with a cohesive relationship can accomplish together. When everyone works together, to achieve positive results, everyone wins. It was a Lights, Camera… “Action” moment, where the performance was astounding.

Furthermore, it was comforting to me, as a mother raising a boy…to see how well the children got along with the girls, who were on the same team. What I remember most, was how nice it was to see all the children play together, without boundaries. Overall, the most valuable lesson to walk away with from that Saturday, (at least to me) was if you build it, they will come. Establish a foundation, Build a structure on that foundation, which is rooted in and anchored in kindness. The children will come, and so will the coaches, who agree in nurturing the minds of what we refer to as, the future. The Children.

It was also a refreshing update on my child’s growth in social activities, where he emulated everything from having a winning spirit, and playing together, to congratulating and encouraging his opponents. When I think of Sportsmanship, it doesn’t just start and begin with the Pee-Wee league. While you learn the core values there, you should build upon them, as you grow into a teenager and an adult. In learning good sportsmanship as a child, and garnering the lessons that are taught – you learn ways to apply it to any situation, that may call for the need of working together. There are many ways to practice good sportsmanship toward your team and your opponents. It’s “Fair and generous behavior or treatment of others.” With regards to sports, as the term is mostly used, it would not be showing good sportsmanship, to punish someone by acting out against them, if they won a game. In being fair and exercising good sportsmanship, you congratulate the opponent on a well-played game.

Moving forward with the games ahead, and seeing how much interest that my son has taken to the game, it has become priority to me, that he doesn’t miss an opportunity to be there. In being a good sport and practicing what I preach, I will be sure to set the example of practicing good sportsmanship myself. In doing so, I have set aside the things that I want him to do, in exchange for the things that his father wants him to do. In a grand attempt toward working together. Despite the reasons that I feel my sons father may have signed him up to play a sport on weekends that belong to me, I think that when you take one for the team, it’s showing that you want your team to win. See you at the Ball Park.

Parenting, Relationships

FREEZE! Drop The Assumption, Put Your Hands Up And Slowly Back Out Of The Room (as seen on cafemom.com)

As seen on CafeMom.com

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It is clear by my response, shown in the image of the message which is featured here in this article, that my blood began to boil, behind what I was being accused of. It would be “reasonable to conclude” that I appear to go off the deep end here. However, what you do not see, is how it lead into this. Typical… typical to conclude one thing, based on the part you do see. (and then he ends it with, “Please do not receive this with malice) wow! How  should I receive it then?frustrated

This would be the reason, as to why I used this as an example. It’s the classic “Poke The Bear” moment, where someone pokes the bear, then they jump back, and hide themselves, so that the reaction of the bear is what’s on display.

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It can also serve as an example of: The Straw, That Broke The Camel’s Back. I used this example in writer’s workshop, to show a range of things and the points were all made clear, when the rest of the information was shared. In doing so, it teaches the students how major and minor details are important to any story. It shows how any little detail, be it added or omitted details, can change the overall read of the story. A few more strokes of the pink paintbrush, can change the portrait.

So, lets back up to 55 days ago. Everything was going great, as I would describe it. I’d written about the closure I had in finally having a “final custody order” in place. RELATED ARTICLE

Even though I did not necessarily agree with the way it turned out, all I was in seek of, was something final-so that I could continue without my life being in limbo. I would be able to finally do what I needed to do, without restrictions of living in one place over the next, or going and coming as I pleased, to make a living for myself. I obviously wrote about the lies that were told in court and pointed to legitimate reasons to conclude that it was an injustice. (Related Article)

However, it was the end to a 5-year ordeal, which had been stifling in my career and personal life- as it hung over my head. It had costed me everything from time with my child, to having many strikes on my record, stemming from erroneous and false charges and claims as well as accusations that were made about me- by my child’s father. And I was happy to finally be out of it all! I had zero qualms. Living life and loving someone.

Everything to do with it, was detailed in articles that followed my custody hearing. (Related Article) Once I wrote it, I left it there and moved into my new place in life- and was happy to be there. I was having pleasant conversations with my child’s father- and truly thought we moved into a place, where we could be civil on the phone, instead of conversing via email all the time. I worked with the father on using my weekends with my child to have him in sports, which the dad scheduled on my weekends with my child. I sacrificed the enriching and extra-curricular activities I had planned for my child, to fulfil the dads request. I even transported my child to those events. Doesn’t seem like much huh? Well, if you knew the gravity of the estranged relationship that we had, you’d realize how BIG something like this, was, to me. (Related article) 

(Related Article) 

My life was beginning to get back in order, kid was doing good and his dad appeared to be refraining from falsely accusing me of things, and placing the bad behavior of my child on me. (Related Article)

I thought that maybe he finally realized that it’s kind of impossible for me to be the blame, for behavior that happened on his watch. As I only see my child on the 1st, 3rd and 5th Friday-Sunday. That equates to 48 hours every two weeks, 18 of which the child is asleep = (overnight X 2 Days) Child attends school of dad’s choice on dad’s side of town, which is 1.5 hours away from me, on a good day. All of this, under dad’s court order. Not my choice- but that’s what I was ordered.

Nonetheless, I speak to my child about right and wrong. I explain to him what acceptable behavior is. I am constantly nurturing his growth and taking part in his affairs, as they relate to school and play. When I speak to my son on the phone during the week, I always ask how his day went and if he says he got in trouble, I ask why. I listen to why, and I make it a point to correct it the best way any mother can, from the “telephone” as I do not have another alternative. Dad is strict on the order and constantly tells me about the “expectations of the court” so I cannot diverge from the order. Now do you understand the example, of why “I thought it was working out” Because the order says that we are to communicate using email. And here we were, having short snippet conversations about my son, so that we could show our son that we were on the same team. Well, I was duped, apparently.

slapping forehead

The day in question- with is the featured image here- shows dad flat out accusing me of something out of the clear blue sky. I was taken aback. Why would he say those things? Where is, he going with this? What’s his problem now? Was it that he became aware of the moves I was making- while he’s stuck being the parent he didn’t sign up to be? Reminded me of TRUMP…running for president, no idea he’d win, being elected, and not having the slightest clue on what to do. Let’s blame the other parent for our “parenting-fails”

My son called later that evening to say that he got in trouble again at school. Dad jumps in on the conversation and I screamed bloody-Mary (mistake? Eh’ perhaps) because I absolutely did not want to hear anything he had to say, while he was making this accusation and continuing to do so over the phone. I did not want to have any words with such an infidel, who would say this, for no apparent reason. I was insulted, to say the least. I was saddened that I thought we made all this progress, only to step back so many steps.

And so, the rest of the story unfolds below. It’s when the pot just boiled over and it all spilled out, into an email to dad:

Be careful with your accusations:

1.       You do not live with me.

2.       We do not run in the same circle

3.       You don’t go anywhere with me

4.       We never engage in conversation aside from OFW

5.       You are not my friend, or significant other

6.       You know absolutely nothing about what I do or say to my child

7.       You aren’t around when I talk to my child

8.       You have absolutely no grounds for the things you accuse me of doing

9.       I have shown nothing but support for the situation -never needing to change anything

10.   Meaning, no motive for telling my child anything in the nature of which you accuse

11.   It’s ALL IN YOUR HEAD

12.   YOU ARE PROJECTING

13.   YOU ARE BEING IRRESPONSIBLE

14.   YOU ARE A BAD PARENT, per xxxx

15.   YOU CAN NOT FACE REALITY

16.   YOU NEED CLOSURE, Per xxx

17.   YOU NEED TO MOVE ON

18.   YOU NEED HELP

19.   YOU SHOULD STOP

20.   All good reason for me to tell you that you are wrong, for making accusations that you are making

For you to say that “I need to get on board” or  “as soon as I get on noard”  is extremely WEAK and TIRED. Especially when I have nothing but proof that I have been on board. Down to the last email I sent to the school, requesting information about why my child was moved from his class. You have no life and nothing better to do with your time? Why is Deon not in counseling anymore? Why? Are you going to continue to blame this on me, when it did not start until YOU TOOK OVER? (4 school changes, due to behavior – kicked out of a Monnosori school, underwent molestation, a fake pre-school, no discipline, bouncing from sitter to sitter/nanny to nanny, transported to and from everyone house under the sun who could babysit while you went to work… neglected at home and kept away from his mother…

Please do not think for a moment that you will be able to chart yourself into court again with these falsities. It will never happen again, as I have given you your last chance to do that and get away with it. I will not walk away, to try to save your butt the next time. It will all come out.

I know that you feel invincible now, because of all that has transpired in your favor. But you do not have any more opportunities to get away with this behavior. And if you are looking for a reaction… or a rise… well, here it is. STOP. At first, I was going to keep my position- in giving you a heads up- but, because you are my sons father and I do care about you destroying yourself; I am obligated to ask you to stop- or to warn you of where you are headed with these lies, and how they will affect your life and I care, because that will ultimately affect my sons life. Stop thinking those people care about you or your son. They don’t. They would be happy to know that the whole family fell apart and that the kid is destroyed, as a result. They aren’t helping you. They are destroying your child and they are using you to do it, because you are allowing it, because you want control at all cost.

It is not practicing good parenting nor co-parenting when you come directly at me, with the things you said…..All accusations…pointing the finger…looking for a way out, to excuse your bad parenting, by placing the blame on something else. The Direct and accusatory statements are, without cause or warrant. It shows me that you fail to grow in this situation. It shows me that you are still sad and mad – but for what? It shows me that you cannot seem to move on with your life. You have complete charge, over all the things that happen. You and you alone, have created this storm. However, you got all that you bargained for- and you are still upset, looking for ways to attempt at stealing my joy. It won’t happen.

How does a man walk away with everything that I: 1. GAVE YOU 2. YOU TOOK and 3. WERE REWARDED; and still insist on tampering with my life even more? That is called UNHAPPY MAN, BITTER AND SAD MAN, Pxxx OFF MAN WHO CAN NOT CONTROL THE SITUATION ANYMORE.

Do you schedule this stuff? Like, are you home with your messages on a timer- to send on every Monday- or when things seem to be going well? Or do you still troll my social media and find that I have not missed a beat in moving on? The tricks should have been stopped at his point. The mere reason it has not, shows how unhappy you are. What else do you want? You got everything you asked for…what else do you want?

This is what you got: You got my money, raised child support, my time that cannot be replaced, you were able to stifle me for a moment, you have my child, you are the custodial parent, you have a portion of my life since I cannot get out of dealing with you until my child turns 18… you got judgement after judgement, I don’t see my son when I want or as much as I want, you have all the time with my son- I cannot do a lot of the things I used to do with him, I cannot give him the things that I used to give him,  you hold the court order over my head, you’ve given me a criminal record based on false allegations, and while it was dismissed… I STILL have a criminal record now. You’ve alienated me as a mother- giving permission to teachers to keep information from me, you have given permission to your selected caregivers to not notify me of my child’s whereabouts and I cannot talk to him when he is with them, you’ve brought great hindrance to the things I could have done, you did not have to pay for anything, you’ve convinced everyone who doesn’t know me- to believe that I am a bad dead-beat mom, you have an unfair advantage in court because you dealing with a woman who will not stop reporting the truth about the system, you stole your child’s college fund that was set aside, you cost me a lot of deals, you got every motion you wanted….why are you so mad??

Yes, I will continue to use my platform. And when that one is swiped from under me, like …Modern Mom or The Examiner (you know exactly what I am talking about) There will always be another one, waiting in the wings, because people like “Real ish.” Stop doing it, if you want me to stop writing about it! I would not have anything at all to write about, if you stop feeding me content. It is as simple as that. Quit, if you don’t like it.

My son is consciously aware, that he goes to xxxxx, Elementary. He doesn’t think in any way, that he is going anywhere other than a school that his dad chooses. You cannot use this as a reason. My son also knows that we moved. He does not talk about another school at all! Period! You’re child is acting up, because he cannot process why he is with you and not me. That is NORMAL. Any kid would want to know what’s up and he will act out until he understands. This is how a child expresses himself. You just choose to keep ignoring the truth- because you want total control.

My son and I have never discussed his teachers or principle outside of him telling me that he had been hit by the principle, in which he also advised his dad of. I absolutely told him that if it happened again, that he should let me know, and I will call the police and make a complaint- especially if his dad does not handle it. This is still true to this day, as I most certainly will! We have never talked about this ever again. He knows that no teacher should ever hit him. And in telling him this, it DID NOT convey NOR come with an impression that he can act up or hit anyone, and be without repercussion. All of this is very clear! You need to sell that toxic crap to someone who’s not smart enough to know. I don’t buy it. It is real sad that you will go from this point, and again hand your power over to an outsider, in order to see me hurt. But guess what, you’ll never have my smile or my happiness…and the tears that you will see, are still tears of joy.

Charity, Lifestyle, Parenting, Relationships, Travel, Uncategorized

You Can Take Me Out To The Ball Game, But This is what you’ll need:

You Can Take Me Out To The Ball Game, But This is what you’ll need:

Recently, my Kindergartner had his first practice/training/ baseball game. Upon arrival, I noticed that I had a little hike ahead of me from the car to the field. Never even gave thought to the fact that it was a little league game, where we were not going to have the luxury of bleacher seating, as the games take place all over the grassy areas; which had been marked and consolidated, to make several fields in one. Once under the “Red Tent” (another story for another day) …we received the name of my son’s coach. We followed him to our designated play area. Another revelation marked my mental, on all the things that I did not bring. Such as, a light jacket. I am usually the one who’s always prepared.

So, we were in the designated area, and practice began to start. While I had snacks for my son, I totally forgot about myself. (something that I am sure that every mom can identify with) So, it made me go home and make a check list, of all that I would be sure to take to the next game. If you want to take me out to the ball game, this s what you’ll need:

baseball 2

Comfortable folding chair So you’ve hiked a country mile from the car, to the field and now you’re tired. It’s to be expected, especially if you are not taking these hikes daily. Sure, you can park it on the grass, picnic style, with a basket and blanket, and while that’s definitely a good idea and one to consider if you choose; I would make it my last resort.

Here’s why you want a chair: Your bum may get tired of the ground, after a while. Not to mention your back as well as the trouble you may have, getting down there on the ground and then getting back up. Therefore, the first thing I would consider, would be a nice and comfortable chair with a cup holder and enough height on it, to ease the pain on my back and knees from getting up and down or sitting too low.

sportsmanship.png

Bag and or a Wagon Cart: I found these super amazing wagon carts at Walmart, and they are reasonably priced. Make sure you do some shopping around first, because I saw them online for $10.00-$15.00 cheaper. In Target, they were $69.00 and at Walmart, they were $49.99… and they go up north of $300.00.

Your folding or collapsible chair, should already come in a bag, that makes it easy to throw across your shoulder. However, if it doesn’t, or perhaps you’ve lost it, like I have lost 5 or 6 of them in the last year, your wagon cart would help. When carting your chair to the field, a wagon will be your saving-grace. It serves as a multi-purpose assistant, to relieve your shoulders and back, from carrying, all your child’s equipment. It aides in transporting the bags which may have your drinks and food in. You can also throw an umbrella on there, a sweater in case you need one, and all your portable devices, or electronics that you need.

Snacks/Healthy food: No chocolate. Chocolate will be a nightmare in your purse or bag, on a hot and sunny day. It’s just a mess, even if it’s chocolate coated something. Take things like, sun chips, granola bars, lunchables, a turkey/chicken sandwich, peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a lite salad, and the world’s most famous Ballpark food: A HOT DOG!

take me out to the ball park

A Cooler and Something to drink: Gatorade, Water, A cold on (Beer) Wine, or Ice cold, Sweet Tea, or Lemonade. Whatever you decide, to prevent dehydration, you want to make sure that its over ice and in the cooler, to keep it cold and chilled. Grab your ice on the way to the game, so that it’s lifespan in the cooler will be maximized. If you have a block of ice, you could also just drop it into any bad that you have and use it as is, for cooling food items and drinks. I usually put two in a zip lock bag, and if necessary, wrap it with a towel to soak up the condensation.

A camera or cell phone with full battery, to capture photos and videos: You may not find this to be something necessary, but for those who know me, they know it’s a BIG DEAL to document every aspect of my child’s life. Wherever he is, there’s a camera right behind him. I have good intentions, that come with a motive of making sure that he is able, to see his entire childhood play out. Of course, I am guilty of also wanting to preserve those memories for myself, if I am sitting at home alone one night, while he is at his senior prom, and my significant other is on the road; I can cry over a glass of wine about how fast he grew up. But, for now, I Digress.

An external Battery: I just threw this one in here to drive home the fact that I am serious about not missing a moment. I don’t care that the other parents may think I am obsessing, because I have had more than enough parents to tell me how they wished they did what I am doing. Even my own mother and sister have mentioned that they wish they captured all these moments. So, an external battery, will be necessary.

Walking shoes: Ok, so it’s not like you are walking across country or anything like that. But if you are preparing to get up from that seat at any time to cheer your child on, while getting a snapshot of him/her stealing a base and making it home on a triple… you want to make sure those feet are in agreeance with you.

Now, let’s play ball!

See more at Working Mother

Lifestyle, Parenting, Relationships, Travel, Uncategorized

The reunion of classic cars and classic people got underway today, when my son arrived at NRG Arena, to link up with some of his favorite people, and do one of his favorite things; which is to freely carouse around, at Mecum Auctions.

The reunion of classic cars and classic people got underway today, when my son arrived at NRG Arena, to link up with some of his favorite people, and do one of his favorite things; which is to freely carouse around, at Mecum Auctions.

While I know that the love for cars does not seem to be fading away for him, because his affinity for them, continues to grow stronger; at the same time, l noticed that perhaps there are a few other things that will never get old to him. One, is being in the company of those who remember his name. Ironically, that’s it is the same with me. Not to remember mine, as they did, but to just remember his. It makes my day as a parent, that my son can make such an impression on someone else, to the tune of being invited back. It truly makes him feel special. But also, to see how the impression is reciprocated.

The last time Deon saw the Mecum Auctions Family, was also the first time he met them, and became acquainted, by way of “The Mecum Experience.” That was in 2016.

(RELATED ARTICLE)

deon 1 mecum

It’s a family affair, for sure. The relationship that the Mecum Auctions Family built with Deon, has been such a natural and organic one, that it has solidified my claim, to being next of Kin. So much that, I have been able to say things like: You better be good today, or I will call Mecum and tell them that you’re acting up.” That is because, the relationship that was established, was so sincerely maintained over time, that he cares about them knowing when he has been bad or good.

mecum 1

Maybe I am wrong for telling him that he will get in trouble, but since this is my first stab at this parenting thing, I have learned that sometimes you just go with what works, until it doesn’t work anymore. Lol. So, if he is inspired to be good, by the strength of a threat that if he does not, I will tell Mecum- – – well then, there you go. Let’s run with it. But that just says that Deon sees the Mecum Auctions family as his own, and that they have showed him that they care as much. So, for the same reason, I am also able to say: “You will get to go see The Mecum Family again, because you have been, and have done so well in school today.” Or “Mecum Family would be so happy to know that you have being such a mindful and respectful big boy.” (The Reward System)

mecum 2

While Deon’s Value lesson at his 10am Pee Wee, Coach-Pitched Baseball game today, was “Positivity,” I took it a step further to teach “Gratitude.” Who better, to assist me with this message, other than the Mecum Auctions Family.

Gratitude is learned, indeed. I have noticed that Deon has been in many positions where he has been embraced and welcomed, and that people genuinely love him and want what’s best for him. They always expend resources to make sure that he succeeds and has a very fortunate childhood. They encourage him, they take him under their wings, and they always make a learning experience out of everything they do for him, even when he doesn’t realize it-  and even when they don’t realize it. That is when I get to step in, to teach and to add definition to the moment, so that Deon understands that he truly is highly favored and that it is a blessing, to have people ‘reach out to you and make sure you are doing well – and to make sure that you have everything you need.’”

I think I brought that lesson home today when, before getting out the car, I reminded Deon that he should not go into NRG Arena asking for anything… and that he shouldn’t “expect” anything, but that he should simply show gratitude, to those who have welcomed him with open arms and whom had personally invited back. Let me pause to say, this was a lesson for this scenario- because when the dynamics are different, where a career is concerned, of course I know to alter and tailor the lesson to speak to persistence, in pursuing something that he wants.

Upon getting out of the car, his questions began: 1. Mom, am I the only one who gets to come to Mecum? 2. Mom, am I the only one who got to- get to- do the ‘hammer block.’ LOL! “Yes, Deon, you are one of the very fortunate few, who were able to— and I need you to understand that this was not something that every child gets to do. And that it is not something you will get to do every time that you come. So, please do not come out of here upset, if you do not get to do it again. I want you to understand that you did it last time- and you should be grateful. Show them how grateful you are.”

Well, he challenged me when he reached Rob Meyers, Mecum Art Road Art whom

had informed us to stop by to pick up a gift that he wanted to give Deon. He came right out and asked, “Am I the only one who got this?” I almost fell to the floor laughing, and I had to explain his line of questioning. Nonetheless, the lesson was learned and he caught my Tokyo drift.

While todays lessons for Deon was, Positivity and Gratitude, it was humility for me. I am still just as humbled, as I was when we first met the Mecum Family; to have this team people, who have taken on such a positive role as distant mentors for my child. I consider myself to be blessed, and highly favored, to have such an encounter, that impacts me as well as my child, where the both of us can grow and learn from.

Today was the 2017 Houston Finale, and one to remember; as Mecum Auctions, is a traveling show, and will be arriving in () next. Please visit Mecum Auctions, at www.mecumauctions.com to find out when they are in your city.

And, like always, I extend my deepest thanks to everyone at Mecum Auctions, for once again, pulling off a dynamo end to our weekend. We love and will miss you. But until we meet again, we leave you with a fan favorite!!!

As seen on CafeMom.com