Lifestyle, Parenting, Relationships

The Ghost Of Christmas Past

It’s that time of the year to spread a little Christmas Cheer! Don’t you just love Christmas time? Everyone is in the spirit of giving and sharing, while embarking on a realistic and sometimes achievable New Year’s Resolutions. For many, it’s the end of an era and the beginning of something new, symbolic in the way of the year turning over. I absolutely love getting together with family and friends during this time, celebrating a season which brings so many people from afar, together around the tree or fireplace; which is where they share memories of Christmas tradition’s past.

I thought of a cool game to play with the students in my writer’s workshop class, and one that I will be doing over the Holidays with my family. It made for a great bonding experience as well as an outlet for everyone to be transparent about their life, their goals and how they will implement a change in their life, if any at all. I would like to pass it along and share with everyone else. It may create a blog idea for you to share with your readers as well as create a wave of participants. It’s called Ghost of Christmas Past, Present and Future. This could ultimately end up being a 3 to 9-part blog post. If you had this experience, as scrooge did, who would be your ghost? Share the story.

There’s a couple of ways that you can present this game during Christmas. In matters of time and depending on how large/small your group is, you can ask of each participant to share:

  • If 1 ghost were to visit you, which one would it be and why… what’s the story and lesson
  • If all the ghost came to visit you, what would be the story of each
  • You may also divide into 3 teams of participants, (if there’s a larger group) having the group leader to pull straws for a ghost, where each member of that team will share a story about that ghost visiting.
  • Pick a theme of which your ghost will take you: Relationships, Employment/Business, etc.

But first, acquaint yourself with the story of each Ghost’s purpose if you are familiar with it, so that you can remain as close to topic as possible.

Ghost of Christmas Past: This angelic spirit shows Scrooge scenes from his past that occurred on or around Christmas, to demonstrate to him the necessity of changing his ways, as well as to show the reader how Scrooge came to be a bitter, cold-hearted. (Your story does not have to be surrounded around Christmas) Although in the movie, it was to show why scrooge came to be who he is around the holiday. You can share about experiences as it relates to how you are or who you were and who you became period.

My Ghost of Christmas Past’s employment/business scenes would include:

2001- I worked for a Real Estate and Property Management Company. It was my first position as a Corporate Receptionist…. and an opportunity to finally dress up for work instead of wearing tennis shoes, as I did in previous managerial positions in the retail management sneaker industry. I performed well in my position, but was asked to resign shortly after one of the big wig clients in our building complained that I didn’t deliver his mail, which had been mismarked and delivered to our office by accident. Turns out, he was a head honcho at Mercedes Benz Corporation. We had an exchange of words, which entailed me advising him that I delivered his mismarked mail as a courtesy, and him stating that I delivered it too late. This spat resulted in the CEO of the company I worked for, in so many words, reminding me that I was to submit to a man of power and not to talk back. I learned that the world can be cold, and even colder in the Heart of Dixie. I began to develop a hard shell absent of compassion when it came to business.

2007, My Ghost of Christmas Past is showing me a call center that I worked at, in which I was recruited from another company and invited to go work for. I was ecstatic about my job, and the evidence was in that it was the longest time I had remained with a company, until I was terminated after 18 months of employment. It happened 2 weeks before Christmas. I was always on-time for work, stayed late when necessary, met company goals and for a lengthy period, I was leading in the number of intake calls. I was fired because a customer complained that I was cold-hearted about not being able to do something for her. I believe my hardened exterior which developed years earlier was the catalyst for me not having compassion for the customer’s request.

2010 is the last place that my ghost of Christmas past would take me. I was working for a Real Estate Company. I was successful at what I did but had a lot of people, upper management included, who did not appreciate my challenging work. I stayed at work late, went in early, went in on my off days, filled in where necessary, and I also maintained one of the highest closing ratios for leasing. Having the success that I had, brought along my share of envious co-workers. I stumbled upon an email one day that was from the District Manager, which was written to the Manager (her BFF) of the property of which I worked. In the email, it stated that she was to “Find ways to write Niedria up” Basically, create a paper trail so they could solidify reasons for terminating me. It became a hostile work environment, having to work with a manager who was deliberately looking for a reason to fire me. And it happened. I was asked by a male resident to follow him to his apartment, carrying a box for him that he could not carry because his arm was in a sling. First thing came to my mind was, Ted Bundy. I told the resident that I would have a male member of the maintenance staff help him. The manager overheard me. She then fired me for refusing to assist the resident with his package.

My Ghost will reveal to me that these were just a few things that happened to me in the business world, where I demonstrated hard-work and loyalty to companies, where I was discarded in a heartbeat. Furthermore, why I then burned bridges which I never knew would need to be crossed again. And lastly, why I need to rebuild where necessary.

Ghost of Christmas Present: The second of the three spirits that haunt the miser Ebenezer Scrooge, in order to prompt him to repent.

My Ghost of Christmas Present will transport me around several cities, showing me the thriving of professionals in my line of business, along with those of which are not so successful who may have been terminated under my management or employment with companies of the past. My ghost will transport me to the living rooms of Customers and Clients who were wounded by some of the cold-hearted things I have said, as well as the foul language I used with some of them. My ghost reveals to me how vicious nature of words have scorned people and in some cases, damaged them for a lifetime. I will ask, “Are they going to be ok” to which my Ghost would respond, “If these shadows remain unaltered by the Future, they will not” – adding a heartless comment that I have made in the past… (I won’t say) … and he leaves me with this: “Most of all beware this boy, for on his brow I see that written which is Doom unless the writing be erased.” I still hold tightly to my reasonable explanations as to why some were so deserving of the comments I delivered.

Ghost of Christmas Future: The Third and Final Ghost and the most fearsome of the Spirits. It represents what the future holds for Scrooge if he does not change his ways.

My Ghost of Christmas Future will show a funeral as well… one in which only people would come just to see and have something to talk about. “Oh, she kicked the bucket… that’s what she gets, for the way she talked to so many people” …they would whisper. How about that?!

Upon request, my ghost would show me ‘tenderness connected to death’, in the form of another funeral. One of which resulted from a suicide committed under the spell of words that I spoke which haunted the life and days of a woman/man where I told them that they should slit their wrist.

Once it’s established that the funeral is my very own, I discover that I must repent and correct the language that I use, being more tactful and compassionate, even when I feel that they are less deserving. In doing the right thing, I open my heart to seeing the human in everyone that I will meet; knowing that a kind word can make someone’s day, giving them the motivation, hope and inspiration they need to be successful. And all these things, to be reminded of and to be remembered, are what is supposed to help us transform into better people. I plead with the ghost to, “sponge away the writing on this stone”

I think in this story, as well as the Grinch that stole Christmas, we can see how both characters came to be who they are. We understand a fraction of their existence through their eyes. However, we understand that it is still also necessary for us to be the change we want to see in the world and that goodness prevails, whereas the momentum of evil can penetrate our futures, wreaking havoc on our quality of life while damaging a sum of others in the process. Change is necessary. This exercise may inspire your New Year’s Resolution.

 

 

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Charity, Lifestyle, Parenting, Relationships, Travel, Uncategorized

What You Should Be Talking About, When You Choose To Talk About People Word Of Mouth Travels Faster Than A Speeding Bullet – Make It Count

It can be awfully frustrating to learn that people you love and adore, are using their time to “talk about you” instead of to encourage, inspire, motivate and support you in ways that would not cost them a dime. All the same, when you know that if they were to use that time supporting you in the ways that you need them to, that you would be more successful. And in turn, you can do something for the greater good of humanity, by blessing others with your talents, skills, and by being able to financially provide for yourself and your family.

Personally, I think that when you are not contributing to someone’s success, you don’t have the right to talk about them at all. At least not in a negative way. I don’t drive down the street and talk about homeless people, when I have not offered them any food, or when I have yet to ask them if there’s anything that I can do for them or if there’s anything that they need. And I certainly don’t do a drive by, just to determine and make sure that they are still homeless, to satisfy myself. I do not talk about them, because I have not offered them a room in my home. While that may be an extreme example, if you consider that approach, it may ward off any negative conversations that you begin to indulge in, in the future; with regards to other people. If you are going to talk about someone, make sure that you are contributing to their success, or toward sincerely seeing to it, that they are doing well. Here are some ways to be productive on your own

When you know that someone is asking you about the statuses of another person, and they have no good intentions, except but to spread the information they get, around town, you should make it your priority to answer them with something worth sharing, such as: XYZ is trying to start a business and I think they will be tremendously successful at it, with proper guidance and support from family and friends… would you like to contribute? That will shut down all that negative-speak.

I made a mention of this once, during a time where I was filtering friends, to determine who was in the thick of it with me- versus those who were just there for the show. After-which, I found out exactly who those people were. Someone asked me why don’t I just block them. Well, here’s why: Because they are still fans, and fans deserve a seat- just not one on the front row. In other words, they are still a part of the audience. They too, inspire you to write about certain things, which may assist another person on how to tackle similar issues with people who are not there for the win.

Which leads me to the next point, which is how it is sometimes a challenge to pin articles such as this, because your real supporters must read and filter through it. They may get a bad taste, that you are even responding to such behavior. However, I do believe that many people go through this, which is why it is important to address and mention. Perhaps it does challenge growth to a degree. It encourages you to use discernment in business relationships as well as how to find ways to handle such instances, and how to move beyond the wanna be threats in your life. Dear Haters, I still want you to win

While I may “unfriend” someone in life as well as on social media, I don’t block them. I just revoke full access to front row and back stage and terminate their VIP access.

Take their seat away and give it to someone else who will applaud your performance, and offer positive reinforcement. Give the seat to someone who’s interested in being in the front row. Allow the others, to sit in the nose bleed seats. They don’t get to sit down here where the drinks and food are free-flowing and they don’t get the swag bags that are full and plentiful, when they have chosen to neglect the fact that they had full access, when they chose to go sit in nose bleed seats and talk about what they think they can see from afar. Since they act like a nose bleed seat audience, give them a seat in that section, and be done with it.

For those who run out of things to talk about, and get to the point that they feel the need to discuss the affairs of others, take the time to assess how you can be a part of the solution, rather than the problem.

Example: If you know someone who blogs for a living, and their blog is monetized, meaning they are paid on views etc., then talk about that to everyone you know. You should be telling everyone that you know, that XYZ has a blog, and that they should check it out. Instead of sitting around, wondering how much money they are making and if they are making money at all. Invest in them, by sharing their business, with everyone that you know.

Example: Someone owns a dealership. Instead of talking to people about how they may not be selling any cars,** tell everyone that you know that if they are in the need for a car/motorcycle in the near or distant future, that they should consider XYZ’S business.**

Example: If someone you know is unemployed, and actively seeking full time work to support their family – instead of spreading the word about how they lost their job, share the qualities that they have and what they can/will bring to the table to any future employer.** Speak to everyone that you know who may be hiring, and speak positive things about how this unemployed person would be a great fit.**

Choose your words wisely, when you spread other people business. Word of mouth travels faster than a speeding bullet. Make your contribution count.

http://www.workingmother.com/what-you-should-be-talking-about-when-you-talk-about-people-you-know

Uncategorized

Megabus.com has partnered with Breast Cancer Research Foundation-Here’s a Contest To Get Excited About

Breast CancerHere’s a contest to get excited about. Megabus.com has partnered with Breast Cancer Research Foundation (BCRF), to bring awareness in the month of October. Making travel plans out of the city? Going somewhere special or exciting, for a weekend getaway? Have you heard of Megabus.com? I must say, when the idea came about, it was introduced to me by my dad. My dad is Mobile, Alabama’s biggest fan and advocate for settling down in the city. He has a plethora of knowledge about the city, and is constantly updating people on the growth of the city, the improvements Mobile has made in transportation to and from the city. I will admit, I was impressed to hear and see some of their newest ventures.

In so many words, he said this: Megabus.com provides safe, convenient and affordable daily express bus service between Mobile and Atlanta, Gainesville, Montgomery, New Orleans, Orlando and Tallahassee with free Wi-Fi and power outlets. Additional service to over 100 cities in North American. Purchase tickets and receive more information at www.megabus.com. Straight from the web, but it grabbed my attention.(laughs)

The idea of taking this megabus for a quick trip to the next few cities over, was again pitched to me through a friend who lives Houston. He suggested that we take a trip to New Orleans for the weekend, and take advantage of the inexpensive option that Megabus.com provides. With that, I was online searching.

I can think of so many ways in which this bus can service an individual, as well as groups, such as:

Singles Trip: It’s the easy answer to, how will we all get there and how much money can we save, so that we are able to drink more and drive less?

Couples Trip: Mix it up. Experience something different and live to tell about it. How many times, or when was the last time you committed to a trip out of town, where it did not include making flight arrangements?

Family Trip: Here’s where we explore the possibilities of saving money again. Large families are not always able to organize expensive flights. megabus provides options to take the guess work out of, how will we all get there.

It was a spooky idea at first, having never used any public transportation, city busses, subways, taxi cabs etc., except that one time I made the attempt to do so in New York, where I was left traumatized, after trying to figure out the subway system. However, upon further research and speaking with people who used the service, my mind was at ease.

Breast Cancer Awareness Month is October, and this is something to get excited about. This month, megabus.com launched a nationwide contest in support of Breast Cancer Research Foundation (BCRF) encouraging people to share their story, or the story of a loved one affected by Breast Cancer who deserves a weekend getaway with a megabus of family and friends. For every contest entry during the month of October, megabus.com will donate a dollar to BCRF, up to $10.000.

I was also interested in this partnership between megabus.com and BCRF, because I have family members as well as friends, who are Breast Cancer survivors, who have a story to share. This contest gives them an avenue to share their stories and to inspire others, at the same time

The contest began on October 2, 2017. All entries must be submitted by October 31, 2017 at 11:59 P.M. CT. To participate, entrants must share their story of how they or a loved one has been affected by Breast Cancer, where they would like to go on their trip, and include a photo. Official rules can be found here

One winner will be awarded $5000 for a vacation with round-trip transportation included between any two cities served by megabus for up to 70 of their friends and family. The winner will be chosen and announced via megabus.com social channels on November 15, 2017.

In addition to the contest, a Pink megabus will be traveling throughout the month of October and stopping in various cities including Philadelphia, Washington, D.C., New York, Albany, Boston and Baltimore.

Megabus is the first affordable, express bus service to offer city center-to-center travel for as low as $1 and operates service to/from more than 120 major cities in North America. Since its launch on April 10, 2016, megabus.com has served more than 50 million customers. Megabus.com is a subsidiary of Coach USA, one of the largest transportation companies in North America.

Lifestyle, Relationships, Uncategorized

RED WINE AND HENNESSY

The following poem was born out of a conversation I had “The Morning After”. A response to the poem was supposed to follow. However, the response never followed. There was a night where wine took on the characteristics of human behavior, but we lived to tell about it. We lived to laugh about it, and my dear friend said, “Red Wine and Hennessy”. At that moment, I invited him to share the male version, but as we wait for that response, here’s the beginning. I would love to have the other side. Please feel free to share your thoughts. I would also be interested in hearing interpretations.

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Red Wine and Hennessy 

She fell out of her bottle when she fell into love, cup running over, overflowing emotions in glass- red stained pallet, on a pallet on the grass, to a quilt on the floor -affixed between lips and red lipstick on a shirt that he wore.

A familiar place, she knows she’s been here before

Reminiscent of the evening

On his shirt that she tore

…………

Drop by drop, puddle in glass getting lower- impressions in her gut, rim of her glass, hour glass figure moves counter clockwise – while absorbing the contents of merlot.

Hard liquor and fine wine.

………….

Red Wine and Hennessy

A wicked twist on some champagne tips

French nails, manicures over grapes

Whoever said wine and liquor don’t mix?

Last night I had six

Bottle caps, corks, bedazzled juice

Merlot was her name – slim waist – good taste slinger neck, red lace. Long stem, pedestal – hands embraced her face.

………….

Room temperature, her body temperature … personality of two, she’s mellow and chill…

Aged to perfection- pop the seal- watch the erection … splatters on the floor- covers the rug,

Residue of red lipstick

Merlot stained lips match the kiss on his neck.

…………

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Chasing fantasy through the Red Sea

While chasing that with a white BC

How much will she pour- how much will she drink

How much more before her ship sinks?

………..

A full body lush, blackberry crush

Medium sized Bordeaux

Intense velvety plum

I asked her where she’s from

She said she’s international

She’s longer thinking rational.

……….

Sips in sync with blinking eyes

She sips too much to realize

Every time you pour into me, my bottle gets more empty-

Glass falling to the floor

She staggers to the door

Glass shatters her feet

She stumbles to her seat

She’s still asking for more

But she falls to the floor

Red lipstick in the mud

She covers up the blood.

…………

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She lays in her wine

She forgot about the time

Clock on the wall

Footsteps in the hall

Pounding in her head

She rushes to the bed.

………

She lays motionless … but her head is racing

Her heart is pacing

Her lungs are gasping – air, she needs air

Rolls to her side, brings herself to sit up

She gags and gags until she throws it all up.

………..

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Wakes up the next morning

Dazed and confused

She’s laying in a bed

That she’s not used to

She moves slowly, where did everyone go?

She checks the time- it’s a quarter past 4

Sounds on the other side of the door

Are Muffled by the sound of a knock at the door.

………..

Looks around for her little red dress

Notices a blotch – a red stain on her breast

Lipstick smeared, an accessory to her mess

She reached for her clothes and saw a note on the desk.

……….

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Dearly beloved,

I want to see you again

I’d love to have you back

I think we make a great blend

I tried to wake you

Because I had to go

And

Oh, by the way, my name is merlot

Little Black Bird.

 

Follow Niedria on Twitter and visit her Blog

This article was selected as one of the winners of the 2017 SheSavvy Spring Writing Contest.  Congrats Niedria!

Lifestyle, Parenting, Relationships

Make this your response: Dear haters, I still want you to win

I want you to win because I believe in empowering people, women and men. I hope to motivate and inspire you to believe it for yourself too. I want you to win, because I want to see you happy. I want to see you rise above your ways, thrive and flourish into something beautiful. Even when you don’t wish the same for me, I still want to see it for you. I want you to have all that you’ve ever hoped for, wished for and dreamed for. Everything that you think will make your life great or greater, even those things which cause you to envy, or despise who and what you don’t know- I hope that someday soon, that you can have it. I want you to win.

I want your life to be an on-going list of amazing experiences. All the places that you want to go visit, all the luxurious hotel beds that you want to sleep in, all the first-class flights, jets, or private charters and yachts you want to take, the house that you want to live in, the financial situation that you want to have, the emotional state of happiness that you need, and whips that you want to push, I want you to have it all. I want you to have the clothes, the friends, the networks and the support. Even though you don’t support me, I still want you to win. Even though you have not been a friend to me, I still want this for you. I hope that someday, in the near further, that you won’t have to live vicariously through anyone, and that you can have the life that you so desire.

I want you to win. I want you to place every egg that you have in one basket, and I want it to multiply for you. I want you to reap seeds of prosperity and I want you to love yourself. I want you to be able to do all the things in life that will bring you peace and joy, whether it’s to have kids, work a job you love, have the career that you want, the title in life that you want, and I want you to be with someone you love. I want you to have the relationship with family that you want, sip champagne just because it’s Sunday and enjoy brunch every day, with people who wish you well. All this, because I truly want you to win.

It doesn’t matter who you are, I still want you to win: Whether we went to high school together, and you judge your own success in life off who went further, or whether you are an ex, who can’t get over a past of pain, in which I never knew I brought to you. I still want you to win, whether we worked together at some point and you did your best to get me fired, I still want the best for you. I will still put my best, in sincerely wanting you to have everything you took, take or are trying to take from me. Whether you were a girlfriend to an ex, who never wanted to see me with him, whether you were a parent of someone I used to know, who hates me for no reason. Whether you are a teacher who never wanted to see me graduate, whether you came in, 2nd place to me in a competition for a title or position that you wanted, whether you are someone who gets sick at the sound of my name, I still want you to win.

Even though you secretly stalk me, wanting for a moment to swipe my happy moment, I want you to win. Whether you are someone who, with bad intentions and motives, prowls my social media, I want to see you win….Whether you are a church member caught up in the hoopla of lies and deception, games and trickery, with no will to see me come out on top. I still want you to win. If you are an attorney, who took my money, with no intention to help, but all the desire in the world, just to get information and then take it back to those who betrayed me, I STILL want you to win. Whether you have taken my deepest secrets and placed your own verse on them, creating your own rendition, before sharing them with more people, who are just like you, I still want you to win.

I still want you to win, despite the blatant ways you have tried to make me lose. I still want you to win, even though, when you knew the truth, you still sided with wrong, just to see me fail. I still want you to win, even though you take from me and I give to you. I still want you to win, even though we don’t know each other, but you judge me based off things you may have heard. I still want you to win, even though you constantly look for ways to bring me down.

You can have it all, but if your heart is not right and your spirit is corrupt, you’ll never be able to see it. You’ll never feel the joy that comes into your life, long as you’re blocking the door with hatred, spite, anger, envy, jealousness. Wishing Hurt, harm and pain on someone else, or damaging a person, sabotaging a person, destroying someone’s reputation, credibility and life; will never return to you all the things you want. I want you to win so that’s why I’m sharing this pearl.

I want you to win, so that you can stop hoping and wishing it away from other people, and so that you can stop dwelling on what they have, and how you wish they didn’t have it or how you hope they lose it. I want you to win, so that you don’t have to rely on your happiness coming from seeing someone else lose the things they have worked so hard for.

But, here’s the catch: I want you to wake up and decide that you are going to be happy and that you want to win, fair and square. Your win can not come from taking, stealing, lying, or being manipulative, deceiving and dishonest. That’s when you’ll know that you’re WINNING

Then, with intentional purpose, set out to just be happy. I want this for you, that you will be able to do just that- so that you can live again. So that you can shut off that internally redundant behavior of hating on other people; by which you have been gossiping, spreading and perpetuating lies and creating drama. I want you to stop engaging and dealing in acts of hatred toward other people’s happiness and their possessions.

I want you to have a life that is so full of the things you love, that you will no longer concern yourself with me or anyone else that you think is doing better or that may have the things that you want for yourself. I want you to have the luxury of being involved with things that can be positively life altering for you as well as a blessing to the world. I want you to experience a transformation that is so powerful, that you wake up and realize that hating on someone else, will never grant you the happiness that’s required to truly enjoy any of the things above. I am still rooting for you!

Originally published on Cafemom.com. See it here

Lifestyle, Relationships

Here’s Some Tea For Your Office! Should She Tell Him Or Nah? Take A Break To Finish This Story, Just For The Fun Of It

Take a break from work and finish this story- I’d like to open this writing assignment to anyone who would like to complete this story Often-times in life, single or not, we are challenged with scenarios, which aren’t always pretty. If we are lucky, it’s not our own life dilemma, but we are always happy to add our two cents. Writer’s Workshop gives everyone a chance to chime in, on how they would interpret a body of work, or in the case of a story, they have a chance to step into the situation and address it, however they think they would.

Two friends, Brandi and Brad, who also used to be involved in a committed relationship over 10 years ago, decide to get together for Brunch one Sunday; to introduce each other to the significant other. (significant, being used loosely here) as nothing has been verbally declared exclusive, and its more so on the lines of a deal that comes with mutual respect and understanding. While there is interest, chemistry and attraction between each of the couples, exclusivity has not been established and they have yet to solidify the relationship with a title, parse’.

Brandi arrives with Ken. Brad arrives with Karen, who has been informed that Brad used to date BrandiKen is not aware that they had been in a previous relationship. Each of the couples, have been in a casual dating relationship, with their respective partners, for an extended period.

While the four of them are out for Brunch, they are all having the greatest time. The introductions went over well, and everyone in the group seemed to mesh. The conversations and laughter, were endless. After-which, they all ended up hanging out for the entire day together.

About 3 weeks later, Brad called Brandi for small chat. While on the phone, he brings Brandi up to speed with his relationship with Karen. He says he’s thinking about making things official. He also mentioned that Karen inquired about Brandi and Kens relationship. Brad expressed that *Karen wanted to know if Brandi and Ken were “doing OK.” *She said that she enjoyed meeting them both, and suggested that they all hang out again.

Brandi tells Brad, that they are in the same kind of the same back and forth, as usual. Not really getting anywhere kind of thing. She adds that they could still hang out sometimes. Brad relates the message to Karen.

A couple of weekends later, Brad called Brandi, because he had not heard from Karen all day. He wanted advice. His dilemma was, Karen has disappeared and she had not answered her phone in an entire day. He expressed that he wanted to speak with her about taking their relationship to the next level, but she was not answering the phone. Karen normally answers all his calls or at least returns it with a text. This time, she was not doing either. However, when Brad called from a different number, Karen answered. To Brad’s surprise, now realizing she was ignoring his call, he asked her if she cared to explain. To which she replied, “No, I will call you later” She did not return his call, until 24 hours later.

Brandi shares her thoughts of what may have happened, by stating: Karen is either with someone and this is the reason for her nearly 48 hours disappearing. Or, she’s trying to send the message that her and Brad are not as exclusive as she’d like to be, and she is teaching him a lesson. Brandi goes on to share, that Brad has no right to ask Karen what she’s doing in those hours, because he has not made a commitment to her and therefore she’s not obligated to tell him anything.

Brandi then realizes, she shares similarities in the story that Brad is telling her about Karen. Ken too, at this point, had been AWOL. Except, Brandi had gone through this, multiple times with Ken. She’s not so much worried about what’s going on, because it’s like Ken, to just up and disappear, and she doesn’t ask questions. She knew Ken to be a bit of a floater, jumping from one to the next- so it was always a challenge to take him serious. And she was just not that worried about what he was up to anymore.

However, Brandi’s intuition tells her that this is little more than coincidence. Having had the past that she has with Ken, she believes in her heart of hearts, that Ken and Karen are together. She digs deeper…and finds this to be true. She finds out that at some point throughout the night, several weeks back, Ken and Karen exchanged numbers, and have been communicating with each other since the day they met.

Brandi uncovers the truth about their whereaboutsBrandi never discusses her findings, with Brad, as she had come to realize he was truly beginning to want a relationship with Karen. Instead, she tries to guide Brad into having a conversation with Karen about where he wants to go, from here. Brandi explains that sometimes girls need to know who they are to you, and when you cannot define it, this is the result. Brandi reiterated to Brad that he should only hold Karen responsible for this day forward, should she agree to have a relationship with him.

When Karen finally resurfaced, nearly 48 hours later, Brad questioned her whereabouts. She took a standoffish approach, whereas she used to be a willing to disclose any details about where she’d been. She told Brad that it wasn’t his business, and that she was not obligated to address it, as they were not in any “exclusive” relationship. After giving thought to his proposition, Karen finally called and agreed to take things further with Brad, under one circumstance: He was to never ask her about that weekend.

Meanwhile, Brandi sent a message to Ken, just to let him know that she knew. Ken Confirmed it when he returned her call. Ken had also been made aware, that Brandi and Brad used to be engaged….10 years prior, thanks to Karen for sharing that information at some point when they secretly spoke over the phone. Brandi decided to part ways with Ken.

In finishing the story, address these questions 1) Is there a right or wrong in this situation? 2) What should be done, if anything? 3) Does anyone owe loyalty or disclosures toward anyone?

Reminder: At no point leading up to Brandi’s discovery, had Ken or Karen made it clear to Brad or Brandi that they were also dating each other- while they were still in a relationship with them.

Story originally shared here, at Working Mother

Lifestyle, Uncategorized

Here’s why I don’t always post in real time, and a must read, as to why you should think about it

Simply put, I don’t always post to social sites, using real-time images or information. Because, I don’t want to and I don’t like to. This is because I have had the unfortunate pleasure, of being cyber-stalked and harassed beyond belief; in which it carried over into my life, causing an array of problems.

Consequently, I had to abruptly come to the realization, that there are people in the world, who are trolling your social media sites, just to find out where you are and what you are doing, at that very moment. What’s so terribly wrong with that? Especially when that is your line of work. Well, nothing. Except one very important thing. Their intent is not always pure. They are not always there as a sincere and genuine fan of your work, supporter of your work, or someone who wants to “follow” you. It’s to “collect information” a lot of times, and the motives behind doing so, are ill-willed.

Once I realized this, I used it to my advantage. Beginning a few years ago, I decided to give those roaches the run of their life, leading them on a roller coaster of “Where the eff is she really at today.” If I could have just seen their faces, when I’d broadcast 3-4 different events that I would be attending, all of which began at the same time; only for me to never appear at either, but rather, end up somewhere else, altogether. Then I shared it on social media the following day!

It worked in my favor, because I quickly realized that when I did not post anything about what I was about to do, my stalker had no time to strategically and maliciously make phone calls ahead of time, to those establishments, organizations, businesses or companies; for which I was working press or organizing an event. Whereas, prior to me becoming aware of what they had been doing, they were combing my social media daily, to find out where I would be, and what event I had planned. They would make phone calls and in a few cases, send emails to organizers, in an attempt to sabotage my work. They would feed them garbage, to slander my name and assasnate my character.

Fortunately for me, I had a few real ones, who notified me of what was happening. I was perplexed, as to why someone would stoop so low; both being highly educated professionals, with higher degrees of education and licenses for the work they did. One of which was an attorney, Houston based- who was extremely obsessed with everything I did from day to day. He made his life and career at that moment, about what I was doing, daily.

He and his accomplice went so far as to have me “fired” from Examiner.com and Modern Mom Blog, which I wrote for in 2013; by stating that I was a criminal. Did they do any research to find out the truth? Unfortunately, no they didn’t. However, many months later, the truth was revealed to me through an insider. A lot of companies, and in this case, a blog site, will take the word of someone they feel is a “credible source” such as an attorney. GO FIGURE. Arguably, the biggest liars known to man, is somehow seen as credible. But the truth is, when you throw around legal jargon with lay people, making threats to sue them or put them out of business, unless they fire one of their writers for talking about things that are happening, in their personal life ….it works. At least in those two cases it did. You don’t do a criminal background check to write for these blog sites, so how weird would it be for them to suddenly and randomly ask for one, without a reason, right? (which I would have gladly given if asked and informed) So, the easiest thing to do, is for them to just wash their hand and back out of an affiliation with you, when something like this occurs. Especially in the case of Modern Mom, where you have a well-known celebrity, as the owner.

IMG_1637When I began to write for other platforms, I took the smart approach. I decided to get in front of the problem. I went directly to the editors from that point. I informed them as to what was going on, and prepared them for what to expect. I also began to speak-out about it in my blogs. I disclosed to editors and owners, how I was being stalked, harassed, and sabotaged. I detailed exactly what was happening and why, once I realized who was at the core of it. I related that these two obsessed beings, were so enthralled in destroying me, that they were making calls, sending falsified letters, erroneous documents via mail and email to companies etc., using scare tactics to get me fired and to discredit my work.

Two platforms agreed to allow me to show them, with creating false campaigns, just to sit back and wait for the villains to make their move. It worked like a charm. One after the next, we were knocking them down and laughing in the writer’s room. Their efforts were relentless. However, after one last attempt at another site I was writing for (a site I shall not name) they ceased fire. Obviously, the editor did speak about it in a not so tell-all, kind of way, taking a diplomatic approach, I was able to figure out what the conversation was all about. I am happy to still be a writer on their platform today.

Here’s what I want you to take from this: This may be a story about how two extremely boring individuals, equally yoked in bitterness, malice and sadness, who had nothing else better to do, tried to destroy me and perhaps still are. But it can happen to anyone. Perhaps not to this extreme, but I will say that I didn’t think it would be this extreme either in the beginning. So, you just don’t know. I had to think about the fact that I have a small child, and at any moment, he could be with me on any one of my escapades, having an enjoyable time and we could have been ambushed. When people go the lengths that these two individuals went, you can’t trust their next move. It’s also a testament to the fact that, not only street thugs, gangsters and low-life people pull this kind of stuff. In fact, they don’t usually have the means or resources. It takes skill to do what these two individuals did. It took someone knowledgeable enough about the law, the script to use when scaring off these companies and causing them to raise a brow at me.

Fortunately, I found a way to make it work for me early-on. But unfortunately, it took a couple of lost assignments and platforms before it happened. In hindsight, I harbor no feeling of hostility toward those companies, as I know they were in between a rock and a hard place at the time, in trying to maintain confidentiality with their “credible source” and myself. In the case of blogging, we were not bound to any agreement. And that’s just the way the cookie crumbles sometimes.

Everyone doesn’t have good intentions, and I consider myself to be very astute to that fact now. Especially, since I have learned of so many others, of which this has also happened to. I’m consciously aware that all people are not good people, so in my line of work and in my day to day, I have found a means to deal with it. I continue to mix it up every now and then, just so that I can keep them guessing, while I keep on moving!

#IamNotReallyHereAtThisMoment #IWasHereInAugust #ThisIsAnOldPic #ImPostingThisSoThatNoOneWillBeAbleToStalkMe #INeverWentToBeverlyHillsHotel #IDidNotEatPizzaLastNight #WheresNiedria #IBetYouAreWonderingWhereIam #IRefuseToLiveInFear

Article was originally published on CafeMom, at Here’s why I don’t always post in real time, and a must read, as to why you should think about it